Manorexia??

Hi all. So, not quite sure about this. It's pretty much a given that more men get "manorexia" as post ops. fine, I can accept that. We do tend to put on blinders and go full steam ahead regardless of what we do. My entire life, I've been the fat, stupid, obese, ugly, gross *** You all know the story. I had RNY Sept of 06. My high weight was 380 lbs. At surgery I was 301. So now, 81/2 months post op, I'm at about 173 lbs. At 184 my BMI reads Ideal. It still does. i'm getting sick of people telling me i'm too skinny, I look too skinny, I should talk to someone. WHAT THE **** PEOPLE????? Too fat, too skinny, just **** off!!!! If only they knew the amount of belly you can tuck in a pair of jeans. Speaking of jeans...I can no longer shop in regular stores. In fact, I went to about 15 stores yesterday fora pair of jeans. Everything from Sears to American Eagle, The Gap, Buffalo, Eddie Bauer and every spot in between. No one carries my size. I wear a size 30 waist & 34 long inseam. And i thought finding a size 54 was a challenge. Not so much. Please don't get me wrong. I'm very grateful for my succeess & I've worked hard. I haven't brought up my concerns in my support group at home yet. What do I say to everyone else? I'm losing too much weight? Even the Bariatric Dietician and the surgeon told me to stop losing. Not that easy! Has anyone else experienced this? I'm sorry for shooting my mouth off but when I feel like celebrating I find I kind of have to hid myself all over again. If I wear nice fitting clothes people tell me I look too thin. At first I liked hearing that but enough already...leave it alone! Thoughts? Thanks, Andrew

Well, I checked out your pictures and personally I think you look awesome! Don't listen to those fools! PS- cute undies

Andrew.... I am a king (please don't say queen) when it comes to Manorexia... I was getting myself into some serious health situations...to the point of having the dr. threaten me with the insertion of a feeding tube. Let me tell you from my experience.... looking at your pictures... you are INCREDIBLY HOT in the red shirt and hat... The newer pictures...you look a little too thin... BUT...body changes take place and time adjusts the body. Those who knew you when you were heavy have a hard time dealing with the thin person..and forever worry that you are too thin... That is their concern/baggage, etc. They don't mean anything negative...but they don't understand how we feel or what the comments mean. Trust me...your body will stop when it is ready to... Don't do anything foolish. Eat, work-out, do what you should be doing to be healthy. Eventually you will stop losing, you will gain a few pounds back (don't be afraid of that)..and then you will start living within a range of five pounds... Up two..down one...down three ... up two... Just allow your body to adjust...

Can I just say...however... red shirt and hat photos, black eagle shirt photo, any photo..I would do ya...lol!!

Thanks for the reply. The red tshirt was 64 pounds ago. I was at 236 in that pic. In the Eagle 77 shirt, from this past April, I was 184. Right now, I'm at 172. I'm hoping after my tummy tuck I'll see the weight loss better. Right now, I just see a big huge fat gross guy with floppy skin. Working on it...but still don't see it. Andrew

Andrew....when is your tummy tuck.... Know that you will be in my thoughts.... And moreso, know that you aren't a big guy anymore... I know it is words...I also know that I don't believe them for myself...but know that I am here for you...

They typically like to do the tummy tuck about 18 months after surgery. Gives time to get to goal & stabalize. I'm looking somewhere between late fall to early spring. Andrew

Not having experienced it yet, my best friend went thru a similar scenario. To me it sounds like no matter how much weight you lose you're not satisfied because you still see your old self. My friend in a little less than 2 years went from 400 to below 150. When he went down to 145 the doctor refused his tummy tuck. His depression grew. He was as unhealthy now as he was when he was 400. Much talk and tears later we found him a good therapist that understood gay men's body image issues. He had to go to a residential facility to be monitored for 90 days. He no longer hates me and is doing very well. He now weighs 180+ and looks great. Just a story to let you know that you're not alone; the male image in gay culture makes us all want that tight washboard stomach, I'm not sure how much of that is reality.

1. Unfortunately, with a 34 inseam, you'll still be shopping at Big and Tall - but you'll be buying size M/L-Tall, instead of 3X and 4X! 2. This is why I have been in therapy since before surgery, and plan to continue for the foreseeable future. I strongly suggest you find one for yourself. 3. You don't look "too thin." Ask someone who DIDN'T KNOW YOU BEFORE SURGERY if you look unhealthily thin. The problem is that your friends and family are used to you looking a certain way, and it will take time for them to adjust to the new you. Find someone else about your current size who was never fat, and ask your friends and family if HE looks "too thin." I promise you they won't think so. Give it time; this, too, shall pass - and in the meanwhile, dress in a way that makes YOU happy and comfortable. If they snark about it, tell them to keep their unwelcome, unsupportive comments to themselves.