Drama in my life!

Hi family Just wanted to share what I have been going through the past few weeks. drama, drama and more drama!!! Well after for being with my partner, stephanie for 6 1/2 years, she cheated on me. I found out 4 days after we move into a new apartment. When she told me, I was so depressed. I cried everyday and my mind would not allow to think of anything else. Stephanie's attitude was that we just needed to move on and forget about it. She wouldn't even let me be hurt about it. She expected for me to just cry, let it out, get mad then get over it. So i told her that I couldn't get over it because i was too hurt. I told her that I only wanted to be friends becasue I wanted the opprotunity to do whatever I wanted and hurt her just like she hurt me. So what do I do... meet this girl that I have been chatting with on myspace in person. I was only doing it get back at stephanie. In the meantime, me and stephanie are fussing everyday! I cant stand to look at her. I told her about the myspace girl and she goes nuts. So what does she go do, goes back to the girl that she cheated on me with the first time. Then told me that she cheated because she likes big girls and I was now too skinny!! That hit me like a ton of bricks. That comment hurt me worse than her telling me that she cheated on me. I love her so much but It's like we had no peace in our relationship anymore. Anyway, we continue to argue everyday and I decided that I couldn't take it anymore. Today, I called my brother in sc to come get me and I moved back to my parents house til I find a job, car and etc.. I have been so dependant of stephanie for the past 6 years so the idea of me becoming independant scares the hell out of me. I know I can do it! I just finished a class in Unit medical secretary so hopefullly that's what I will find. On a more positive note.. Today I weighed in at 188 lbs. That's exactly 200 lbs. gone since my surgery 14 months ago. I'm proud of my accomplishment and LOVE the way I look now but I now question myself if I'm too small because of what she said. I know she probably said it just to **** me off but I'm still questioning myself. This is the first time I've ever been cheated on and it hurts. I don't know how long this is gonna take to get over but I hope it's quickly! Thanks for the support you guys give on this board. I really just needed to get that off my chest. Thanks, kay

Hi Kay; First off, sorry to hear about the drama in your life. Congrats on taking a stand though and getting yourself out of a situation that was quickly escalating. It's better to remove yourself than continue the tit for tat hurting each other. Yes, she said what she did specifically to hurt you. Your weight/size/body image are constantly evolving and it is an insecure time period for you. That was truly a low blow on her part. You are doing fabulously well and making absolutely wonderful progress. Keep up the good work both physically and mentally. You may want to look into therapy for a bit to work on the emotional piece especially considering the break-up. Allow yourself to grieve the end of a significant relationship and allow yourself to feel hurt over some truly despicable behaviour by your ex. But try not to let it influence your future relationships. Best of luck!! Kelly

Hi there Kay! I'm so sorry to hear about your drama and break up. I too fear getting too small and that my partner will leave me because of it. She says she won't and is happy I am getting healthier. I am more independent than I was 90 lbs ago and that has shifted things in our relationship. I've never been cheated on and I can't imagine how bad that feels. Please know that I am thinking of you today and know you will find that you are strong and independent and capable of taking care of yourself. Best to you for a quick recovery! Chris Davitt Highest 287 Current 200.5 Goal 170

Kay, You're not too small! I know it's hard, but please don't let her comments sabotage you. You did this for your health and well being, and sometimes that comes at the expense of relationships. I hate that it happens like that. You have accomplished so much with getting a healthier body! Don't ever let anybody take that joy away from you. My only advice: FEEL IT. Don't be afraid to greive, feel those emotions, don't try to make it better. Cry, throw things, yell about it to your friends and family. Do what you have to do to get it out! I know you are going through a rough time. I'll be thinking of you. Ken

****HUGS**** I'm sorry to hear about all your drama! It just sucks when these things happen, no other way to put it. Bravo to you for standing up for yourself and getting out of there, its really hard and it takes a lot more strength than we think it should. I cant believe she said that, how dare she?! You have worked your butt off (literally!!) to get where you are, don't ever let anyone take that away from you or belittle it and make it smaller than it is. You look fantastic, I am sure you are on your way back to feeling fantastic, you deserve to have someone who will celebrate life with you, not try to drag you down. Keep your head up and focus on getting your life back into the order you want it to be in, and you know you have all of us here whenever you need anything! Shell

Oh Kay! I'm so sorry you are going through this. Please do not let her undermine your weight loss. This is a huge accomplishment for you. I believe that when you love somebody, you love them for what is inside, not outside. I would think that it is her own insecurities which lead her to feel that way. You are a beautiful woman, and if she couldn't see that then it's her loss. Please be kind to yourself at a time like this. It's not your fault. You must know that. Rachelle

Kay: So glad to see you here again and sorry to hear what you've been going through lately and why we haven't seen you - not easy stuff to handle for sure! You are looking incredible and don't let anyone take that away from you!! If this relationship doesn't work out because of the positive changes you've made then I'm sure there will be many, many women who will find you attractive... and you deserve someone who will provide unconditional love AND want you to be healthy and feel good about yourself - (remember you're shopping in the "regular" section now how great is that!). As stated early - just let yourself have the feelings and take the time to work your way through it. There are lots of people here for you. Steve

I am sorry that this happened to you...I am so happy that you placed yourself first! Take care....

I am sorry to hear about the situations that have been happening in your life. Know that you have made a positive decision about your life. Never allow anyone to tell you otherwise. Your goal is not to be a big girl or a thin girl; your goal is to be healthy and to live as long as possible. If your partner is unable to appreciate that, then you need to move on to continue the level of success in your life. I have all confidence that you will succeed at whatever you endeavor upon. Please keep us updated with what's happening in your life. It will take time to get over a six-year partnership. But, you will move on and will gain bigger and better things! ::hugs::

First of WOW on the 200lbs.lost.That is so amazing.What an accomplishment ! It is sad that your ex took your huge accomplishment and tried to use it to blame you for her mistake. Don't take the blame-take credit for the hard work you've done and leave the guilt on her. She may have cheated out of her own insecurites because you do look so fabulous.Whatever the reason, I am proud of you for getting up and moving out. I'm sure beforeyour WLS, you may not have had the self esteem to do that. It takes a lot of strength to leave a long term relationship-even if it's gone bad. Things happen for a reason. Now is the time to be looking for the window that GOD just opened when he just shut the door behind you on that relationship. It's been my experience that that windows of my life have been amazing. Good luck and please keep us posted on your new start. Dannielle