I'm home

I'm home. I'm crampy and sore and uncomfortable and tired and thirsty and depressed, and I cried this morning because now that it's too late to change my mind, I'm not sure I made the right choice (and I'm crying right now for no reason I can figure.). I weighed myself at the hospital this morning, and I was 392.7, so I'm already down 5 lbs from my last visit to JB's office.

Big hugs Randy. From everything I've read over the last 2 years, what you are experiencing is normal. I've heard it referred to as buyers remorse. Give yourself a little while to rid yourself of the anestesia (sp) and heal from the surgery. I have faith in you and I know you are going to do great! Email me any time if you want to talk. Rachelle

Randy, I was just there! I experienced all that, plus. The first couple days are the worst! It will get better, I know that's not easy to believe right now, but it will. Attitude does have a lot to do with it though, so just try to reconcile as quickly as possible that you have made a permanent change, and then start to move on from there. I felt a lot better by week 2, and I think you will as well. The gas cramps are the worst, and the pain meds generally don't help these a lot (and can eventually make things a little worse because they slow down your bowel). Think good thoughts and know that you made all your decisions during a time when you had a better frame of mind...trust that you did the right thing...and get ready for a few bumps ahead and a generally good time! Ken

So glad you made it home! The first few days can be tough. I remember 1 week out "waking up" around 7 pm and realizing that the anesthesia had worn off. It's been good since then. Your energy will come back a little at a time. Have some patience with yourself. It's hard for docs to be on the other end of health care - my partner is an internist/geriatrician and I was a nurse practitioner before law school. We are tough cookies. Just take it easy. All the best! Chris Davitt Highest - 287 Current - 198.5 Goal - 170

Yay welcome home! Try not to worry too much....pretty much every post op that I have had the chance to talk to has gone through that same thing the first few days after surgery. Part of the emotional ups and downs have to do with the fact that you are burning a LOT of fat REALLY fast right now and hormones are stored in fat....so you are in the middle of a flood, so to speak. No worries, I have faith that it will get better and so should you! Get some rest, drink your water, walk walk walk! And you can message any of us at any time if you need to talk...heck if you PM me you can have my cell phone # and you can call me when you wake up at 2am and cant sleep! =) *hugs* Shell

Great to hear from you and to know that you're home Randy. Bottom line - the first week or two really sux!!!! All of what you're describing sounds perfectly normal for just being a few days post-op. Keep in mind that you are looking forward to those GayDays at Disney and being able to walk and walk and walk, right? Those days are coming. I went through a lot of mood stuff for a while - and heard two explanations - one is that anesthesia drugs get stored in adipose tissue and when we are carrying the extra weight it takes a lot longer to get out of our systems. The other is more associated with this irritability/rage that tends to come on a little later - testosterone is stored in fat cells and when you start losing the fat rapidly you get flooded with T (there can also be some beneficial side effects from that ). Down 5 lbs. already? That's pretty amazing considering all the fluids and gas they pumped into you for the procedure. Some people come out heavier than when they went in because of fluids/gas. A few weeks down the road I think you're going to love what's happening. I just passed the 5 month mark and have gone from 392 on my day of surgery to 306 today -and when I add in the 51 I lost before surgery that's 137 lbs - now THAT's what you have to look forward to once you get past this hump. Meanwhile, walk, walk, walk, sip, sip, sip and know we're all here for you! Steve

Alright Randy i am gonna throw in my 2 cents now. THIS IS PERFECTLY NORMAL. you will feel this way for a short period of time. Next you are gonna think if you have to drink another thing and not eat you will die.. this is normal. At about 2 weeks you will get the stall from hell.. at least in your mind.. this will pass. Than things will look up and you will be loving life, except you will be trying to figure out how to get food in, drink and follow all those directions.. man.. it's crazy. This is normal as well.. Just sit back and enjoy the ride. see what new things are gonna be happening to you. Know that this time is not the rest of your life. It really does get better and your health and body get better too. I am 10 months out I started at 264.. I am at 142.. down 122 and 7 pounds from my goal weight. I follow every rule.. I dont eat sweets, protein first, carbs last and I dont eat un necessary ones. I enjoy my food, I've learned that if we do what we should its even better. I used to chew maybe 2 or 3 times and swallow it down.. it always made me want more.. Now I chew the hell out of my food and get more flavor from 4 oz. of food than I ever did with 20 oz. Take comfort in knowing you made the right decision and that it may be tough right now, but the benefits down the road with make this small bit of time you gotta cope with it so insignificant your will laugh about it later. Take care and congrats on getting to the loosers bench.