HI ALL

I am starting the process of getting a lap band......I have 1 dilemma.....I am afraid I am going to have an identity crisis after surgery......I have always been known as a BIG Bear......does this mean I will become a little cub.....LOL...I look forward to having the support of "MY OWN".....I'll post soon.....Sean P.S. I found this board by poking around in SteveH "Friends" section.......His "friends" were a wealth of gay contacts.....THANKS Steve

Hey Sean - Glad you found us - and it is nice having the support of our own and there are lots of great men and women here - so welcome!! The identity crisis? Hmmm, maybe, still trying to figure all that out myself - I too was always the Big Bear - I suspect I'll eventually land somewhere and find some identity I can "adopt" as my own. I wonder... "Smaller Bear"? (doesn't really sound right does it?) "Little Bear"? (Doubt I'll ever really be little!) "Cub"? (feels too cute for an 'aged' man like me) Who knows - what I know that's most important is I'm feeling better every day - getting my health back and overall just feeling better about me. That seems to be worth more than any of the worries. So, welcome to the board and enjoy the ride! Steve

THANKS AGAIN........It will be a little strange not to hide behind the Big Bear persona.....I think I will strive to be a Muscle Bear......then I can be BIG in a healthier way !! Sean

Welcome...to the some times wild....some times wacky....but always wonderful world of gay & lesbian chat. There are some incredible people in this forum with great stories...a wealth of experience (let's just smile at that one)....and always an opinion or idea to share.... It seems, looking at the forum, that I have become one of the veteran's...over 18 months out .... This is a great please to ask questions...share stories..and most of all...learn!!!!! Sean, here is one of the first things I learned... YES!!!!! I had identity issues... I still have identity issues. I was (even though, I never centered my life around it) always heavy. NEVER used the term bear or any other label. Now I am considered thin. People now see me as just a normal guy...at times being the thinnest in the room!!!! It is hard to adapt to being in a body that isn't usually mine... But, it takes time to accept who we are (as if we haven't worked through those issues before...)...... GOOD LUCK and again WELCOME!!!!

Thin & furry = otter! Who cares about labels? It's how you feel, how you look, and how you interact that matters.

Welcome! This has been a fun group so far for me and I think you'll like being here. I have always been a big guy too. I have not always been morbidly obese, but I have always had a presence as a big person. With how fast I have lost already, I'm pretty sure that by a year's time I will be down to what the insurance tables call an ideal weight. To be honest, that's a little troubling! I have always pictured myself at around 210 as my ideal, so we'll have to see. Either way, I wouldn't trade it because I already feel a lot better...and you will too. I just hope my chubby chaser partner will still be attracted to me when I'm down that far! (Well...I say this jest...but there is always that tiny part of me that fears it... you know what I mean?). In anycase, you are in for a fun ride if my first few weeks is any indication. Good luck and keep us posted.

Sean,Its wild...im at the point now that i look in the mirror and try to find my old self..i was always called a BIG beari was 459, am down to 232 and still loosing,...i never knew why men found me attractive..but they did..now i find myself attracting a different crowd...and i love it..my new partner is a small guy 170lbs..i tell him hes a otter..but he has never considered himself one...when i go to clubs...the young twinks are telling me im hot...im like whatever...but i do enjoy the new attention..haven't been to a bear club since i had surgery..it will be wild to see how that goes..anyway...don't worrie about labels...just get ready for the ride of a lifetime..and enjoy it all...Best wishes...Randy