New to the board

I'm Randy. I'm a 37 y/o GWM in central New Jersey near the shore. I'm just about 400 lbs, and have been struggling with my weight since I was a teenager. I'm in the midst of my pre-op evaluations, and waiting for my surgery coordinator to get my approval. (My therapist was on vacation until 2 days ago, so we're waiting for her to write my letter.) After years of therapy, it became clear to me that I first gained significant amounts of weight as a high school freshman as a defense mechanism - if I was unattractive, I didn't have to deal with my burgeoning sexuality, and I completely suppressed it. By the time I wanted to deal with it, the obesity and the bad habits were fixed in place. I'm a bear, and even if I lose the weight, I probably always will be - I don't really expect ever to be ripped enough to consider shaving. However, my taste in guys definitely runs to the twink/muscle types. I hope, as a thinner man, I'll have an easier time gaining their attention. Does anyone have a happy story along those lines to share? Did you meet the love of your life after your surgery, someone who wouldn't have given you a second glance before?

Welcome to the boards, Randy. I was big when I met the love of my life. I'm looking forward to surgery now to get my health in order. I'm sure there will be happy stories to share. I wish you the best of luck in your journey. Keep us posted on your progress. Rachelle

How does your partner feel about the surgery? My last boyfriend was a total chaser; he told me point blank he'd leave if I lost a large amount of weight. (He was a scumbag anyway - broke up with me by sending a text message to my cell phone last Valentine's Day.) I've sort of put my love life on hold for now, knowing this huge change is coming.

OMG!!! That's rotten. Good riddance to bad rubbish is what I say. What kind of person breaks up with someone like that! My partner is on board with the surgery. I think she was nervous at first because of the risks, but she stands behind me 100%. She is so supportive. I couldn't ask for better. Rachelle

Yes, it was way beyond rotten. I'm far better off without him in my life.

I just read on the other post that you are going to Gay Days. What a blast. We went a few years ago and had such a good time. Rachelle

This will be my third year in a row; I go with a big group of friends. Last year, there were 18 of us! This year, we're only expecting about 10, as several of our group are doing the Atlantis Hawaii cruise next month.

Welcome Randy! I'm 4 months out and not lookin for second glances or the love of my life at this point. Just getting smaller, adjusting to life post-WLS and definitely getting healthier! Steve