Trying to get it together

:help:Hey there. My name is Heather and I live in South Louisiana. I am in the process of trying to get approved for my surgery. My insurance covers it, just have to meet the criteria. You know the drill. I go to my seminar at the hospital I plan on having the WLS done at tomorrow evening. My problem is....I need advice. My partner of 5 years is also overweight....much more so than I am. Her medical needs are far greater than mine because she gained weight so fast. I have been big all of my life so my body has been more acustomed to the gaining....She works for Cingular Wireless and their insurance coverage doesn't pay for the surgery, and we don't have the money either or the credit to finance it. She supports me 100% in getting the surgery and knows that I need it, but in the same breath tells me she is jealous and she can't talk about it with me. I am worried that this may be too much for our relationship. Lord knows we have been through many things together over 5 years, but I don't want me getting healthy to tear us apart. Anyone encounter this problem? Advice would be greatly appreciated. I want this surgery for the both of us and after I get thinner, I would be able to pick up more shifts at the hospital I work at and with an agency so I could put all of my extra earnings into an account to pay for her WLS. HELP PLEASE!!

Heather, welcome! Your situation sounds very similar to mine. I strongly encourage you both to start talking to a couple's counsellor BEFORE surgery. The weightloss either of you experience will likely set off changes in your relationship. Be prepared, take proactive steps now. I've lost 150+ pounds. My partner of 13 years weighs what I did when I started my surgery. We managed to get through this with individual counselling and couple's counselling. But we separated for 6 months while I adjusted to the changes. It was a huge disruption in our relationship. But we worked through it and are happily back together now. Feel free to email me. And check out my website to read more about what I went through. Jen www.hotfat4sale.com

Heather this is a tough situation to be in.. but you need to do this for you. Your insurance may not cover it soon so you need to get yours out of the way. If your other half loves you she will support you in this. I understand she needs to loose the weight as well. You stated you are an RN and in time you could raise the money to have her surgery done. I think that is a great goal to work towards in the meantime you could be getting healthier and more able to help her through her surgery down the road. It would be a shame to miss out on a chance to take care of yourself for fear of upsetting your partner, and if your partner truely loves you, she will want to do what is best for you as well.. Do the surgery.. dont loose this chance.. than commit to taking care of her as soon as you can. I have my partner on my insurance plan... i do not know how it is where you are. that could also be an option you can look into. Some insurance companies will do that.. but while you are doing that.. you need to get yours done.. you dont know how long the new coorperation will keep that clause in there and you already have the wheels in motion to get ur wls done.. I hope this helps..