Binge eating DS style, & the Catalyst...Long Winded

Well... today showed me for the LOSER that I am, I had THE most exhausting and yet exhilarating Interview of my life today, It was for a job that I Just WANTED... I thought the process went really well... except for one of the six interviewers I felt I had this one nailed... I even got a Thai lunch out of it. I was really tasty to. My day started Tuesday evening, around 8pm. I worked all night, got off work to find out that I had left the #*%@%# interior light on the vehicle after having a late call at work... Had to wait for a jump, then got on the interstate to a PARKING LOT.... Was like ten minutes late to the interview. Was there until about 2:45pm with a heck of a tension headache starting at the base of my neck. Then it happens... I was hungry.... I wanted to everything insight... I stopped to pickup some protein powder... Oh.. so I got a LARGE Muscle Milk Banana Crème drink and then two Atkins chocolate Mint cups... not bad.... But then... I had a large back of Jack links Beef Jerky... so ... ok.. still not bad... but should call it a day.. ya know.. well.. I stopped to pickup some lemons for the wife for something she had to make. And got about a half lb of Publix Chicken tenders... and a diet dr pepper... So I sat in the parking lot and ate 3 of the 4 tender strips... stop because I was full .. FULL... drove the short distance home and JUST had to finish off the last one... Of course.. I was in pain at this point... (Hello Moron... ya think???!!) roll in to the house and head off to bed... took some time to get to sleep.. so I got about 3 hours before I had to get up to go to work... well.. needless to say.. I didn't need to eat supper... But before I went to bed... emailed the recruiter about the interview... that I felt really good about it and looked forward to hopefully hearing some positive news... Well... it just gets worse... after I get up and get ready for work.... I find an email saying that they didn't think I had enough application experience for the position but would like to know if I would be interested in a tech support position... I SO WANTED THIS OTHER POSITION... it was a GREAT JOB... a lot more challenging and learning a lot of new things.... So now I am dealing with all that crap... the great part... ( I guess?) is that I am not wanting to binge eat like earlier today... but I am so SICK of this $&*! In my life. I try to do better and I just KEEP SCREWING IT UP.... I have let my family down, myself... GGRRRRrrrrrr... I just don't have the words or the release to get rid of this crap inside me right now... AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I Quite! Medicgeek10

The down side - you were FORCING yourself to eat.....not good for the tummy....the good side is it seems like you got a good bit of protein in! Tomorrow is another day. I have found when I eat more than I should in a day the next day I'm really not hungry at all....maybe this will be the case for you. Try this - next time you over eat...run an extra mile on the tread mill to burn the extra calories off. Just my two cents! Dee Dee

Thanks Dee Dee, what eats at me is... the fact that I gave into it. I didn't think about it when I had the protien drink and the jerky... but I damn well knew what was wrong when I hit the chicken strips...and I still did it... that is the frustrating part... the mind games... I wish I could "CUT" those out and they would be gone. the self doubt and self loathing... errrrrrrrrr... Thanks for the kinds words and support... Medicgeek10 KI4MPP

MG10-I just responded to you on the Men's board. I did not even realize you were from GA. Glad to see another GA Boy around here. George

Hey Eric, Dont be so hard on yourself. I know that you are a great guy and that you were just having a bad day. Tomorrow is another day. Just think how far you have come and the direction in which you are going. Remember that I told you a couple of weeks ago that 2006 is going to be a great year for all of us. P.S. Cute picture of you and Brad....lol. We will have to do a retake on Boxing day this year. Lynn

Thanks Lynn, for your support and love. It is greatly appreciated... yes, it was a bad day, it was also a good day... go figure that one out... I know to that it was a good thing to hear from them later that the didn't just "Flush me" that they want to see if the tech support manager thinks I am a good fit... the next day I also wrote back to the recruiter to see if she thought that this would be a "get the foot in the door moment" and she agreed... it was just dishearting the way I let myself down by what I did and that I wasn't even hiding it... I knew it AT THAT MOMENT... but I still did it... that was what so "sucky" about the whole thing... Thanks again for your support ... I told work last week that I would be late tomorrow night... cuz I am going to the boxing party... lol can't wait... see ya there... Medicgeek10 KI4MPP

Thanks Dee Dee... the big thing was that I was doing old habits.... yea.. I was eating pretty good stuff... but I was like.. KNOWING I was full and keep eating... what a sad state of affairs... I do have those days where I seem to do nothing BUT eat... then I don't seem so hungery a day or two later... I can deal with those... thanks for the words of encouragement... I hope you had a wonderful Christmas... Medicgeek10 KI4MPP

HEY SWEETIE SORRY YOU HAD SUCH A ROUGH TIME CALL ME AND WE WILL TALK IN PERSON YOU ARE VERY FRUSTRATED BUT NOT READY TO QUIT I KNOW U BETTER THAN THAT LOVE CANDY