Another update from someone who has been MIA...

Hi Everybody... Sorry I haven't been around much either... I have had several really busy weeks also. Not sure if y'all remember back in March/April when my little one was in the hospital or not, but was back in the hospital again for 2 weeks up in Atlanta. We were able to learn some new things with this hospitalization. While I hate the fact that he had to go back in, it was definitely necessary. (For those of you who are new here, my 8 yr old son has some Emotional/Behavioral Disorders.... ADHD, Bi-Polar Disorder, and Intermittant Explosive Rage Disorder... and the new diagnosis of Anxiety Attacks). What got us to this admission to the hospital was that he had a really destructive fit of rage while at daycare. He tore a sink off of the wall and threw it across the room. There was not a table, chair or bookcase left standing upright. There was books, paper, art supplies and food thrown everywhere. I was called to come to the daycare immediately, and I had only been at work for 25 minutes when they called. I was horribly embarrassed and humiliated when I arrived. The director told me that the staff was totally unable to control him and had to call 911 for help. It took 2 firemen to finally restrain and subdue him. Of course, he was dis-enrolled from yet another daycare. This was the last one that I could use... While my little one was in the hospital this time, one of his fits that he had, the doctor was finally able to witness it. He realized that during thses fits that he is also having anxiety attacks. He get to where he can't breath, and he chokes, etc... We have placed him on yet another 3 more medications to help. He also had to bre put in leather restraints this time, and had to have several different shot (including Haldol... the biggie) to calm him down. But the fact that the doctor was able to witness one of these fits of rage was a good thing. He has also had to be moved from his new school with full day self contained classrooms to another school that has children with Severe Emotional / Behavioral Disorders. This is actually a good thing. While the place is a very old school, it is a very structured place, and they have the knowledge and ability to deal with these kind of kids. This new school however has shorter days than the regular public schools do, and since we have run out of daycares, I have been having to get to work late and leave early to transport him to and from school until the public school transportation dept can get his bus schedule set up to pick him up from my job. It sure is hurting the ol' paycheck. The doctors have said that my little one needs to go into Long term residential treatment which could be for 6-12-18 months. Unfortuantely my health insurance has nearly run out of benefits for the year. I am in the process of trying to get medicaid for him, but being employeed with insurance makes it very difficult. (I make too much for him to get medicaid thru SSI Disability). We applied for a program called the Katie Beckett program back in June. They told me then it could take upwards of 6-9 months for approval. So, until I can get Medicaid, I can't help my child. It kind of breaks my heart... I have always been fairly blessed in that I thought that I could handle my child at home alone. He usually doesn't have any 'full blown fits of rage' at home with me. They usually happen at school and at daycare where he is in large group settings. Well, I finally had to deal with a big one yesterday. We went to Jax, FL for a hockey game on Thursday, and came back that night. He was great on Thursday night... Then on Friday we went to Florence, SC for another game. He was getting very aggitated, and I thought I was gettig him calmed down some. When the game was over, he finally crossed that line. I was absolutely shocked by what I saw in my child. I have seen milder episodes in him, but nothing like this. His face changed, the shape of his body changed, and his voice changed. It scared me... After about an hour, and several of his favorite hockey players helping me to keep him in check, he finally came back around. He took his regular meds, and was his normal sweet and loving self again. He finally fell asleep and slept most of the way home. Today he was perfectly fine... and very remorseful for his behavior... even though he doesn't remember most of it. So, why am I telling you all this???? Well, it is kind of therapeutic for me to put it all down and talk about it.... Plus I know that I can get the best support and plenty of prayers for all of my WLS buddies. I hope you will all keep me and my little one in your thoughts and prayers. While I am doing ok right now, I found that I munched the entire way home from Florence last night. AndI was so stressed that I made excuses to myself that it was ok. I got back on track today with my eating, but if I have too many more days like last night..... shew, I don't even want to think about it. Thanks in advance to everyone who has endured this post to let me vent... Sorry it was sooo sooo long.... Hugs, Susan

Susan Check with state ran facilities, they should be able to offer at least a discount....

Hi Kristin, I have investigated alot of programs and facilities. Central State is an option, but not one that I am willing to use yet. I have gotten him in to the local Community Support program. He will be starting their Day Services Program in the next few days. I am hoping that I won't have to resort to Central State, but if it becomes absolutely necessary, I will do what has to be done. Right now it is against my better judgement. Hugs, Susan

Susan-you certainly have my hugs, prayers and well-wishes that we can get your son the best care that he needs. I teach in a school that has an EBD class. Since I'm the music teacher I see them all. I totally see stuff in them that you see in your baby. They are mostly sweet, and then a switch goes off and wham! My heart really goes out to them. Is guess my point is that even though I can't fully understand what you are going through as a mom, that I have experienced it as a teacher. Get some rest and take care! Sherry

Thanks Sherry... I think you probably understand more than you know. After what I saw in my child on Friday night, I now undestand what the teachers see from him. I have been fortunate in that I had never had to deal with him during a fit to this extent. The teachers have had to deal with him in 'full throttle' on alot of occasions. I always got there to clean up the aftermass... God Bless you and all of the teachers around the world who have to deal with this kind of stuff. Hugs, Susan

Susan, I am one that is truly thankful for your post. My nephew has fits of rage that I wonder need more assistance with then what my sister is seeking for him. I'm going to allow her to read your post (I know it's selfish - but I keep her out of a lot of my business....) because she needs to see that what he's doing can really be severe if she continues to let it go untreated or under treated. I will keep you and your son in my prayers. Much Dee Dee

Thanks DeeDee, I have often felt that people who go in denial ablout their childrens behavioral disorders are unknowingly abusing their children. It is very hard on these kids. There are so many resources available now days that it is a shame when parents don't want to get help for their kids because they might have to admit their children aren't perfect. I am very proactive in getting help for my little one. I keep nothing from him, and he knows what all of his diagnoses are, and what all of his medications are, and what they are for. I feel very strongly that if he understands what is going on, that he can hopefully learn more helpful techniques to deal with the issues at hand. For too many years people have tried to hide these kids away so no one would know they have problems. This helps no one who is involved. Good Luck to your sister. It is a hard life to lead. Hugs, Susan

Gosh Susan what a sad place to be in. I know how it feels when your child is mildly sick and you can't do anything for them. I cannot fathom what you are going through. I hope you all find the solutions to this medicaid thing. Sometimes the system seems to work against you more than for you. You will certainly be in my prayers. My mother's nephew suffered from explosive anger disorder and even though I saw it at a distance I know what it can do to a child and the family. It soulds as if he is blessed with a mother who is going to get him the help he needs! You are amazingly strong. Lorie Brown

Dear Susan, Thank you for sharing. You and your sweet boy will be in my prayers. I know as a mom you would rather be the one going through this. I also know about the "embarassment and humiliation" thing. We love you, Susan! As you support your son, we will support you with much love and many prayers. I am praying that the school system get their act together NOW and that the Lord will open the door and show you the right place for long-term treatment. I am also praying for your strength and emotional well-being. Please keep us updated. Here's my verse for you, especially when the panic hits: "He shall cover thee with His feathers, and under His wings shalt thou trust: His truth shall be thy shield and buckler. Thou shalt not be afraid for the terror by night; nor for the arrow that flieth by day;" Psalm 91:4-5 Hugs, Becky

Thank you Dear Becky... I so appreciate your wonderful words of wisdom. While I know you are not going thru this same thing, you have had your own realm of trials and tribulations. And you are so right... if I could take this on for my child I would do it in a heartbeat. Thanks again, Hugs, Susan