Ha HA
My sister sent me this, I thought it wa****erical, No one get your feelings hurt know!!!
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier because none of the members knows how to play one.
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if..... people ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em.
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if..... when the pastor says,"I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering." Five guys and two women stand up.
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... a member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of."
You Know You Church Is A Redneck Church if... the choir is known as the "OK Chorale".
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... in a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven last names in the church directory.
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if.. Baptism is referred to as "branding".
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... high notes on the organ set the dogs on the floor to howling.
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... people think "rapture" is what you get when you lift something too heavy.
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the baptismal pool is a #2 galvanized washtub.
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the choir robes were donated by (and embroidered with the logo from) Billy Bob's Barbecue.
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the collection plates are really hub caps from a '56 Chevy.
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... instead of a bell, you are called to service by a duck call.
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the minister and his wife drive matching pickup trucks.
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the communion wine is Boone's Farm "Tickled Pink".
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... "Thou shalt not covet" applies to hunting dogs, too.
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the final words of the benediction are, "Ya'll come back now!! Ya Hear."
And some more, Something to offend almost every southern state:
A North Carolina redneck passed
away and left his entire estate in
trust for his beloved widow.
However, she can't touch it
until she turns 16.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Folks in Georgia now go to
some movies in groups of
18 or more. They were
told 17 and under are not
admitted.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The minimum drinking age in
Georgia has been raised to
32. It seems they want to keep
alcohol out of the high schools.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In Mississippi, reruns of "Hee Haw"
are called documentaries.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How can you tell if a West Virginia
redneck is married? There's dried
tobacco spit on both sides of his
pickup truck.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Georgia has a new $3,000,000
State Lottery. The winner gets $3 a
year for a million years.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Recently, the Governor's Mansion
in Little Rock burned down. In fact,
it took out the whole trailer park.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The best thing to ever come out
of Alabama is Highway 72
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Tennessee State Trooper stopped a
pickup truck. He asked the driver,
"Got any ID?" The driver said,
"Bout what?"
Here's an HONEST TO GOODNESS one...that happened to ME while visiting a friend's "redneck" church.
You know your church is a redneck church, when the minister asks the choir to assemble in the choir loft, and there is NO ONE left in the PEWS!!
I nearly busted a gut!! I think there were us 2 visitors left in the pews and about 20 people up in the choir loft! (Which by the way, was 3 benches behind the pulpit)
!!
Thanks George!! Have a great day!!!
!!
Thanks George!! Have a great day!!! 
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