ANGRY ALL OF THE TIME SINCE WLS!!!!

Hi Everyone! Okay! I'll be the first to admit it!!! I've turned into a very, very, ANGRY woman since having wls!!!! It's not about the food or missing it! I often have to be reminded to eat! At this point I could care less about food and eating! I don't want to see food, smell food, cook it, shop for it, or even see it advertised on TV or elsewhere! I HATE FOOD!!!! I've lost ALL patience for incompetent people, bad drivers, crying, screaming brats who are out in public and their weak-minded/willed parents who can't/don't controll them, the war in the middle east, Tom Cruise, my sister, I could go on and on and on!!!!!!! I never "candy-coat" what I want to say anymore! I just say it! If someone's feelings get hurt.....TO BAD!!! I kick A$$ now!!! And no I don't take names!!! I could care less what your name is!!!! If you're in my way or on my last nerve, you'll be the first to know it!!!! And don't get in my face!!! You won't know what hit you if you get in my face!!!! Bottom line folks is that I'm always ready to "fly off the handle!" I relish getting into arguements with family memebers because even if there is the slightest chance that I'm wrong I act as though I'm right!!! Has anyone else been through this after wls? I knew that I would change in dramatic ways physically but I wasn't prepared for how my attitude and personality has changed! I've surprised and even scared myself with my reactions toward some people and certain situations! Things have never gotten physical, but I'm afraid that may happen if I don't "get a grip" on this problem!!!! This is just soooooooo out of character for me! Any constructive feedback would be greatly appreciated! And yes, I am in therapy! And no, it hasn't helped so far, with this issue anyway. Cheryl G.

Cheryl, I've had similar moments. I know that some of the feelings have stemmed from hormones. Pre-op I never had a period. Now they are regular. So I know some of it is hormone related. I know that some of it is stemmed from having to deal with the issues vs. eating them up. Now I still find myself running to food when I feel stressed, by far, it isn't like it was pre-op. MOre than anger, I find myself much more nervous and fidgety, like I need to be doing somethign all the time. The bottom line is that you need to find a way to find out the root cause of the anger and channel that energy into something positive. All that anger isn't healthy. I know I'm not telling you anythign that you don't already know. The only suggestions I have for you is - if your therapist isn't helping you, maybe you can find a therapist that is experienced in weight related issues. And possibly speak to your therapist or Dr about a anti-depressant or anxiety med. If you are not actively involved with a WLS support group, I would suggested finding one. You never know who else is dealing with the same issues and may be able to offer some advice or support for you. I wish you well and keep us posted. Hugs, Tonya

Hi Tonya! Thanks so much for your response! All of this anger stuff probably is hormone related. So, I'm going to ask my dr to check my hormone levels next week when I see him. I'm also very nervous and fidgety as you mentioned! I have more nervous energy then I know what to do with! As for your really great suggestions, (seeking out another therapist, trying some psych meds, and going to WLS support groups), I'm either already doing them or am looking into it. I'm all about being pro-active these days and that really feels good! Be well, Cheryl G.

Hi Cheryl! (okay-don't hit me if you don't like my answers....LOL) I had to crack up reading your post--I know you're really bothered by this issue, but it sure came off funny with your 'say it like it is' manner of presentation! Okay--Here's my two cents worth: You've just been thru major surgery. AND, food is no longer much a part of your life. That's a big change for us all! Add in to that you have raging hormones from the whole thing--and there you have it--a recipe for emotional changes. For me, I cried. I cried at the music on the cartoons....I cried when my kids said 'I love you!'....I cried at EVERYTHING. So you're angry---it'll pass. Just like my crying did. Who knows why we express our 'hormonal' changes like we do...but just try and ride it out cuz I'm sure its just temporary. Best of luck---I have a neighbor that's on my last nerve. Would you like to come over and unleash on them for me? LOL Hugs!!! Michelle

Michelle! Great to here from ya! Hope all is well with you and yours! I honestly thought I'd be one to cry easily after wls. I think I'd prefer that over being so angry at times. Crying seems to be a healthier release then flying into a minor (or major) temper-tantrum! Peace! Cheryl G.

Hey, Cheryl, I tend to be this way when I'm under great stress or am on my period. I have spent many hours apologizing for "telling it like it is," have even called department store employees, restaurants workers, and librarians who I might possibly/probably have offended to apologize. Once I even told a cross-eyed taxi driver in downtown Atlanta that he was the meanest person I had ever met. My advice is to get some "down" time for yourself. Even if it's hormonal, you may need some quality alone time. Take a bubble bath, read a funny book (Janet Evanovich has a new one out, "Eleven on Top"!), watch a funny movie ("Diary of a Mad, Black Woman" really got my juices going!), get some sleep. May I also recommend praying as a possible option....especially when you are in the attack mode. COunting to ten before I speak also helps. I would definitely go to the PCP and explain what is happening. I have a feeling it's physiological. Oh yeah, I really like to write letters when I'm full of rage. It feels like a cleansing of the soul. Don't mail them until you are feeling better and have time to re-examine your opinions/emotions or are able to get a second opinion. Feel better soon, Sweetie! Hugs, Becky

Hi Becky! Thanks for your much needed and appreciated support and for your timely suggestions! I especailly need to try and stop and pray BEFORE I get all fired up! You are a much better (healthier) person then I am right now! I only apologize to close friends and family! I have started journaling again. That helps in the short term but it does help. I will try some of your other suggestions too! Take care. Many hugs and blessings, Cheryl G.

It is normal! From what I have read, this is what I understand....we store estrogen in our body fat cells. As we are rapidly losing weight at the beginning of our journey, a LOT of estrogen is being released. This is what is putting us on our emotional rollercoasters. I thought that I would be free of this since I had a hysterectomy 7 years ago, but evidently I had some really old fat cells!!! I knew each day was going to be a challenge because I was so irritable. So each morning I gave my DH a hug and kiss and told him how much I loved him for helping me go through this change. I also apologized to him for whatever I was going to say or do that day! One day I caught him looking in the mirror and I asked him what he was doing. He said he was checking to see if his head was on straight since I had ripped it off earlier! We did get a good laugh. I was fortunate that he had read with me about the hormone problem before my surgery so he was prepared for it. He still said it was easier to go through that the change from my hysterectomy! Oh, by the way, it does get better! Good luck, Patti

Thank you Patti for your response! I love your sense of humor! I'm going to look into the hormone situation. I also think it's a really neat way that you start your day with your DH! I think I'll start my day off by apologizing to my Mom for whatever is to come flying out of my mouth that day. Thanks again! Be well, Cheryl G.

Cheryl, Hi there. I don't know if you've seen my postings or not but I am 12 years post VBG and awaiting repair surgery (RNY) but being SO LONG post op I've dealt with WLS and the 'afters' a LONG time now ... As I read what Shyra said I was also snickering at myself because I TOO thought you had snuck a quick peek into my private thoughts and trails from the past twelve years!!! Even now I still go through hearing from my family how 'ugly' I can get and for me having the procedure the first time I had so conditioned myself to society treating me like crap being morbidly obese that when I dropped down to 120ish I HATED Everyone and everything for treating me 'different' ! I still do to this day go through bouts with the angry feeling but I had had twenty-eight years before WLS of living to train me to be hateful. When I was overweight I could hide my anger for being put down by being the 'jolly fat woman' but once I lost all that weight I had no where to hide it anymore. Society DOES treat you badly when you are overweight and thinner women DO get better treatment. Today I am mostly angry over the fact I have become so ill, not by my hand but by a reckless J.A. *****arended us causing severe abdominal trauma and now I have to undergo a RNY because the damage is irreversible and I am physically ill now because of his IGNORANCE! (I've included a new post to the end of this week's new developments on my health)