I Hope This Never Happens to Us!!!

PLEASE TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US

An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to report

that her car has been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains

her situation to the dispatcher. 'They've stolen the stereo, the

steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!' she cried.

The dispatcher said, 'Stay calm. An officer is on the

way.'A few minutes later, the officer radios in.

'Disregard.' He says. 'She got in the back-seat by mistake.'

TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!

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Three sisters, ages 92, 94 and 96, live in a house

together.

One night the 96-year-old draws a bath.

She puts her foot in and pauses. She yells to the other

sisters, 'Was I getting in or out of the bath?'

The 94-year-old yells back, 'I don't know. I'll come up

and see.'

She starts up the stairs and pauses 'Was I going up the

stairs or down?

The 92-year-old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea

and listening to her sisters.

She shakes her head and says, 'I sure hope I never get

that forgetful, knock on wood.'

She then yells, 'I'll come up and help both of you as

soon as I see who's at the door.'

TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!

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'I CAN HEAR JUST FINE!'

Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing

golf one fine March day.

One remarked to the Other, 'Windy, isn't it?'

'No,' the second man replied, 'it's Thursday.'

And the third man chimed in, 'So am I. Let's have a

beer.'

TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!

_________________________________________

Now this one is just too Precious...!

Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades.

Over the years, they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures.

Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a

week to play cards.

One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the

other and said, 'Now don't get mad at me .. I know we've been friends

for a long time, but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and

thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name

is.'

Her friend glared at her.

For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at

her.

Finally she said, 'How soon do you need to know?'

TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!

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SENIOR DRIVING

As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car

phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him,

'Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the

wrong way on Interstate 77. Please be careful!'

'Heck,' said Herman, 'It's not just one car It's hundreds

of them!'

TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!

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DRIVING

Two elderly women were out driving in a large car - both

could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they

came to an intersection.

The stoplight was red, but they just went on through. The

woman in the passenger seat thought to herself 'I must be losing it I

could have sworn we just went Through a red light.'

After a few more minutes, they came to another

intersection and the light was red. Again, they went right through.

The woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the

light had been red but was really concerned that she was losing it...

She was getting nervous.

At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was red

and they went on through.

So, She turned to the other woman and said, 'Mildred, did

you know that we just ran through three red lights in a row? You

could have killed us both!'

Mildred turned to her and said, 'Oh, crap, am I driving?'

TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!