OT: advice on keeping 4 yr old in bed?

Sorry sooo long...but I need help! I have 4 yr old boy/girl twins. My boy...well is great...easy to get to sleep and stays in his room in his own bed until morning. My girl...a whole other story...she bucks going to be EVERY night. Then, within 1-2 hrs is up saying she needs to "potty"...sometimes she really does and other times she just sits there...and then on the way back to her room starts whining about wanting to sleep with me. We struggle, cuddle, scold, sit for awhile sometimes...and eventually after 30 min or so goes back to bed....then about 4 hrs later, it happens all over again, usually its just wanting mommy, going to potty (but doesn't), wanting something to drink (& I leave water by her bed every night, but she never touches it) etc etc. I'm sorry but this has been going on for some time....and I cannot function well at work after having minimal sleep every night...it's like it is with an infant...except she's 4. I've tried rewards for staying in bed....lasts 2-3 days; punishment...lasts 2-3 days, spankings etc....nothing works and I'm going crazy. I usually get up with her, because if my husband gets fully awake, then he can't ever get back to sleep (has severe sleeping probs)...and then I have to contend with his BAD mood for 2-3 days afterwards until he catches up on his sleep...so to make it simpler, I get up, until it sometimes gets so lound with her screaming, crying and kicking wall etc that she wakes everyone up. This is also causing strain on my relationship w/husband and my work concentration and physical well-being. She is required to take a nap at daycare. On weekends, sometimes we skip naps because we're so busy, and she tends to sleep better ...maybe only 1 time up (which I consider pretty successful). But my dear son, needs his nap or is cranky! What should I do? Please someone help me (if anyone has gone thru something similar). BTW...I'm pre-op lap band...and boy will this be fun after surgery! or during my pre-op clear liquid 2 weeks!!!!

Hi, I've never had this problem with my 2 boys but I watched an episode of SuperNanny that sounds like this. She consistently placed the child back into the bed immediately. There was never a word uttered.....she just picked her up, took her back to bed, tucked her in and walked out. Some nights it took 10 times or more but after a week of doing this, the child stayed in the bed all night. I know your nerves will most likely be on edge after the surgery so getting this problem out of the way will certainly be better for all. Good luck. Lyn