Freaking Out!

I don't know why, but I went and read the Memorial Page (again) and I'm beginning to freak completely out. I have surgery in just a few weeks and now I'm terrified. What if this doesn't work? What if I am one of the 1% mortality rate? What if I have severe complications? It's so overwhelming, it all hit me out of the blue today when my BF said, "Next month is your surgery." I've been on the path to this journey for so long I had convinced myself I probably would never make it, and now it's all here and I'm going to fall apart? I'm crazy, ain't I?

It's ok to know that some people die, but if you look at those people, most of them had a TON of severe co-morbidities. I would suggest you immerse yourself in the Before/After pictures in order to balance your fear. You'll be fine! Do you trust your surgeon or not? Jan

I do trust my surgeon. He actually performed a lap procedure on my boyfriend last year when he had to have his gallbladder removed. I did go look at before and afters... they are inspiring.

You've got a good surgeon and you trust him and your BF used him for his procedure. You're going to be fine, but I think it's perfectly natural to freak out some. Take some deep breaths and do what I did. When you get to the hospital, tell them you're a bit petrified and they will give you some happy juice!!! Jan

Shayna, I had the same reaction yesterday when all I seem to keep seeing on the mainboard was regretful people after their surgeries and it can be scary. Where is the memorial section? I have never seen it, maybe I shouldnt spook myself. Listen my surgery is Dec 1 and I promise to tell you everything the good, bad and the ugly!!! It is scary but I know that you will be fine and come through this with flying colors. Elaine

Thanks Elaine! It's good to know I'm not alone thinking this way. I will tell you where to find the Memorial Page but only if you really want to know. I'm looking forward to seeing your posts about surgery. I'm so nervous.

Hi Shayna: I went through the same phase. About three-four weeks pre-op. Then I realized that I am doing this to prolong my life. If I remain the same weight I am killing myself. I had to think of the purpose of this surgery. If you need to talk to someone please e-mail me and we can communicate. Karl

Thanks KD, you are so sweet! I know if I stay this weight one of my co-morbidities will catch up to me. They don't call them "co-morbidities" for nothing, right? I've been focusing on the reasons, and thinking of the relief on my back when I get this weight off.

Actually, I would have concerns if you didn't have at least some of the fears that you are experiencing. It is a completely normal reaction to the unknown, and my freak out was actually the morning of surgery, when I went to kiss my son. Can you discuss your fears with your surgeon, or even with you psychiatrist that you saw for the approval process (if you did)? My big fear was anesthesia, and I had a long meeting with the anesthesiologist. We talked about risks as they related to my particular case. In the end, I felt much better about the surgery. Just my .02 Kristen

Kristen, I can't imagine what it must be like the day of surgery to kiss everyone you love before you go in. My son is my heart and soul, I can't imagine! I do go to therapy and it is the therapist that gave me the psych clearance. I'm fortunate that she's also a WLS patient and is about 2 years post-op so she relates to all of these emotions I'm feeling. I just saw her last week and usually don't see her but once a month but I'm going to go see her tomorrow. I'm lucky there was a cancellation.