Can you share with me????

Hi Friends, first let me thank you all for being so helpful to me in my journey. It's hard to imagine that it's been almost 4 years since my surgery! I have been developing a lecture regarding the insensitivity of the public towards the obese. I am doing this for several reasons.....to educate healthcare workers, to lobby for obesity discrimination to be prohibited by the ADA, to educate the public at large to the plight of this last socially acceptable bastion of open and rampant discrimination, etc. Right now all I have to go on is my own experience and I was wondering if you could help me to help others by sharing your experiences with me. I know it might be painful but maybe with all of us putting forth an effort it will be worth it in the end. I'll go first and share one of my most hurtful experiences. When I weighed 263 I interviewed for a job as a receptionist at a popular radio station. Because it was for a receptionist position, the interviews were all done over the phone. You mailed or faxed in your resume and then everything was done over the phone so they could evaluate your phone skills and dealing with the public. I made it all the way down to the final two applicants and was invited in for a meeting with the president. Even at 263 pounds I took great pains with my appearance and fixed my hair and makeup and wore nice, professional clothing. I arrived at the office and saw that the other applicant was a tiny lady who was very pretty. When the president came out he literally looked at me first and then looked at her. He walked up to me, shook my hand, told me he didn't think they had anything for me and hoped I hadn't been inconvenienced by coming in. He then took the other lady by the hand and ushered her into his office. I almost felt sorry for her. He was practically drooling over her. I left the office in a conflicted mess. I was happy that I didn't have to work for an ignorant man like that. But, I was devastated because he had totally discounted my intelligence and my abilities because I was morbidly obese. I felt worthless. I was too ashamed to tell my family what happened and I lied to them and said I'd had a great interview but he must've like the other lady better. It wasn't until I'd had WLS that I shared this experience with them. The really terrible thing about this is that this scenario and worse is played out over and over each day with morbidly obese individuals. Can you share your experiences with me? I know I'm only one person and I don't expect to change the world but I figure even the mighty oak started out as one little nut. So, this little nut is seeking your help. Thanks again for being a wonderful, supportive WLS family! Hugs, Rona

I commend you for what you are doing. I do hope it helps. There are so many times I have been hurt and wished I could roll up in a ball and disappear. But the one that really hit home hard was 'Out of the mouths of babes'. My grandson was three and had started nursey school. I had been picking him up in the afternoon. He also has a Nanna, she is thin. I am Granny and I am not. So I went to pick him up and a couple kids yell "Cole, she's here to get you, you know the fat one." But bless his heart, because he said 'She not fat! She's not fat, she's just full of love'. Needless to say it was hard to get to the car without crying. I did not say anything to anyone. Cole must have told his Dad, my son. He explained that what Cole said is what he had told him when some kids made a remark as to where I was. So it was hard to know. Every time I had to pick him up I wanted to cry when I walked though that door, I expected to hear, 'The fat Granny is here.' It was like being back in school and you're never chosen for a team. I still do not understand why anyone would want to teach a child to be rude and hurtful. But that is where it starts, children hear and learn from us. Hopefully some day everyone will receive the kindness they deserve and be treated for themselves and not their size. I decided I want to be on a great team so I joined this board and decided to have WLS. Hope this helps. gail

What an awful experience! I'd have to think awhile to see if I have anything I can share that goes beyond the normal insensitive jokes, etc. Congratulations on your weight loss, though, and good luck with your project. Jamie S.

rona, i have a girlfriend who has a great education to be a physicians assistant and can allso do insurance coding the problem is she is 5'4 and weighs about 350 pounds so when she does go for a interview they take one look at her and thats it. you know what gets me is there allways crying out about descimination against black,women too short too tall it's allways something but we need someone to cry out for the obese. one thing did hapen to me one time at a mcdonalds in ocala i even thought about suing for it but i was too embarresed to go through with it,because of what people would say you know the words, well if she didn't eat so much she wouldn't have to worry about it. what happen was we were on vacation and stopped at mcdonalds for lunch. at that time the only seats they had were attached no moving the table out no moving the chair out,so rather then embarris my family i squezzed my fat body into the seat.it was so uncomfortable but i did it the problem came when i went to get up. i told my family to go on out to the car because i had to go to the restroom, the truth was i couldn't get out i was so swollen . so they went out and i fought to get myself out of that seat thank god there wern't many people in there to see me. that night i took my clothes off and looked in the mirror i couldn't believe it ,my stomach and side was black and sore and swollen. i started hating myself for that. i feel so bad for my friend. i havent had the surgery yet. i wegh 298pounds i am having the surgery, but she can't she has no job,no insurance,no one will give her a chanch. keep us in your prayers brenda