Shouldn't Have read the Memorial Page!!!

Well, when the panic subsides the OCD's take over!!! I should not have read the memorial page! That did NOT help. I kept thinking these people will all have higher BMI's than me, or these are the "older" patients. Nope.....lots of young people, BMI's compatible, and lots of blood clots. My mother has deep vein thrombosis (Mega leg blood clots). Now I am scared Sh#*tless!!! I don't have it so far. What if I have never had any blood clots, and I don't have any comorbidities right now? I am 33, married, and I have a 10 year old son, and a 3 year old daughter. My husband was reading the memorial page with me, and now he is really nervous. I know, I know, I am a panic ridden Super FREAK, but now I am cringing at the thought of blood clots, twisted bowels, etc. Is there any way I can be proactive post op to keep from these thing sfrom happening? Or are those things just all statistically part of the risk percentage, and it's just a toothpick draw? Anyone wish they would of tried harder to loose weight before doing this? Maybe I should just deadbolt the fridge, and sew my mouth shut with cat gut?! Panic Princess Gabriella

I didn't know there was a memorial page until I read your post. So of course, I had to look at it too. I agree it is scary and probably something that I could have avoided, but it also puts things into perspective about how precious life is. I guess I have to have peace in my heart to move forward with the surgery so that I may have extra years with my loved ones rather than continue this vicious cycle of my addiction to food and yo-yo dieting which will indeed shave off several years of my life. I'm not sure if there is really anything you can do proactively to avoid the risks of any surgery, other than educate yourself, research my doctor and have a little faith in your decision, yourself, your surgeon and your higher power if you have one. I wi****ried harder to lose weight every day of my life, I think most of us do but beating myself up about the "what ifs" in life has just created more issues for me with my weight and self esteem. I have tried almost everything short of deadbolting the fridge and sewing my mouth shut (I like cats so I draw the line there LOL). I still believe in the long run that WLS will be a TOOL for me to live a longer, happier life but it isn't going to be a CURE to my bad habits, negative self talk or inactivity...those are all going to be life changes that I have to initiate and follow thru on. Trust me, Girl. You are not alone in panic mode. I go in and out all the time, but always come back to feeling it is the right thing to do for myself. Amy

be brave

I must be blind.. I still haven't found a memorial page... I've looked everywhere. Where is it?

I did that too a few weeks back. Scary, very scary, however, I am still scheduled for surgery on the 30th of March. I used the emotion it generated in me to sit down and compose a list of feelings and truths I have learned and believe and added them to my profile page. They helped get a lot of things off my chest (just in case I never have the chance to say those things). (Look at my profile page and you will see them.) See you can use that scary feeling as a springboard to channel energy into your own thoughts and feelings and put it down on your profile so other people can have a chance to see them. It helps people know what you are about and what has made you the way you are. Writing things down will help you not be so scared. Everyone on these boards is or was scared to some extent, but many were more scared of staying morbidly obese. God Bless, Susan

My surgeon preventatively implants IVC filters in his patiente who have a BMI higher than 50. I have a permanent filter in my inferior vena cava (big vein in abdomen) that prevents blood clots from getting to my heart and lungs from my lower body. I had this same concern because my grandmother had DVT and died from several massive strokes and pulmonary embolism. You could ask your surgeon about an IVC filter...

Hi Gabriella: I also read the memorial pages. I cried and cried. I spent many hours on line reading those prior to surgery. I went ahead and decided to do it anyway. As far as the blood clots go, ask your surgeon if he has any treatments before hand. My surgeon put us on an aspirin regimen one week before surgery. While in the hospital he puts his patients on blood thinners. They leave very nasty bruises. I am 3.5 weeks post op and still have some faint bruising. The biggest thing he reccommends is to get out of bed, no matter how bad it hurts. He wants patients to be walking within hours of surgery. That will cut down a lot of the blood clots. Do take it seriously. Dying is a risk. But also know that you can have a blood clot and survive. Read also the pages about peoples experiences. Many that posted explained their ordeal with blood clots. There are a lot of those. I wish you luck in making your decision. If you have any questions please email me. Also I would recommend attending the support meetings in your area. You can ask many questions there and also see how many people survive this surgery. Make sure your husband goes to at least one of them also. It may help his fears also.

Well, I finally found the memorial page.... I shouldn't have gone there. Now I'm having second thoughts.. some of these people made it well beyond one year. What causes the blood clots? Was it the surgery? I'm going to ask my surgeon to explain in detail to me exactly what can cause a blood clot. And by the way, I plan on wearing a medical ID bracelet in case I am incapacitated in any way. Also, does everyone get an NG tube? I don't want to wake up with a tube down my throat. So many questions and such a big decision, and so little time... K~

I think we all felt the way you do now at some point. I am nearly a year after surgery and I do not regret it. I was not really scared of the surgery as I had a great Dr. I do have to admit that I was afraid of the complications as I am 50 years old. I can say there were none. Follow your inner feelings. If this is for you go for it. If you feel it is not....DONT. I am a very stong believer in inner peace. If this is the way to go for you then you will find it. Good luck. God Bless. K

Don't beat yourself up. I am a firm believer in reading the memorial pages pre-op. Everyone who starts this process has to know what the risks are. This is a part of the journey...a hard part, but one that must be dealt with. You can't go into this surgery and make this huge decision unless you know all the pros/cons. The memorial is just that..a place to honor those who have moved on. Some of the people were very sick to begin with...some waited too long to have the surgery. We never know when it is our time, but you can bet that I weighed the alternatives and decided that if I didn't have the surgery I might as well have put my name on that list in a few years. Cry, scream, talk it out, but come to peace with your decision. Good luck. Patty