unsupportive husband!

That's a bad idea.  It's never a good idea to lie to your spouse about something as important as this.  Tell them you are going to do it whether or not they like it, but don't lie to them about it.  First it only dooms a marriage, and weight loss surgery is hard enough on a marriage.  Second, God forbid anything happens to her and her husband has to give her medical history; there is  a big difference between lap band and RNY. 

She is better off getting her husband on her side first, or telling him I'm going to do it whether you like it or not.

and if he doesn't get on her side and she does it anyway then the marriage is strained from that too.  She asked my opinion and I gave it.  If I were married to him, I would tell him I am going to have the lapband.  After surgery, I might tell him that my body rejected the band so they had to perform the rny.  Either that or I would have my Dr tell him the band is not what I need.  It's her body, he has no say in what she does with it.  And yes, it would be nice if everyone was supportive and so on, but that's not how it is.  

Hello Steve,

I'm moving to the Tampa area (Lutz, FL) in the next 2 weeks - any suggestions for grp/support meetings?

Thanks!
Carla

 Cpcampbell

Highest Weight = 206 lbs.
Surgery Weight = 185.6 lbs.
Current Weight = 122 lbs.
Goal Weight = 130 lbs. (5'1")

Carla this seems to be a big problem. There are support groups that meet in Clearwater and Largo area, but nobody seems to know of any in Tampa that meet regularly. I think that there is one that meets at Tampa General.

 "Let" you have it done, as in allow??  Sounds like a red flag to me.  You need to do what is right for you.  Just a guys perspective, good luck.

Oh I agree with John! Both the husbands sound like CONTROL FREAKS! Why would you need his permission anyways??? NEVER let a man tell u what u can do!!!!!!!!!!!

Do what you feel is best for you. Don't let your spouse make that decision.  Surgery is a big deal and it's something happening to your body not his. I know it is important to have your spouse support you. Maybe you should take him to a ryn support group meeting so he can talk to some people who have had the surgery. No matter which way you go wls is hard on your marriage. My husband was supportive at first, but now that I have lost 50+ pounds he hates me talking about weight loss and tries to stop me from going to the gym. He says he liked me more pre wls.  But the truth is he was really crappy to me before I had surgery and I think he is just worried that what goes around comes around.( But that's not my style). Anyhow,  I really hope everything works out for you. The best advice I have for you is make sure you have the surgery that you feel is best for you!!!  

Brandy, my husband is supportive of me but it was not always that way.  He would tell me not to have the surger that I could do it by myself.  Mind u, he is over 400lbs and loves to cook and feed me.  He tells me he love me the way I am and I love him as well.  But after I was blessed with 3 grandkids within 18moths of each other and my 18month old granddaughter made me chase her I thought I was going to have a heart attack. I said that's enough time to get with the program.   Listen to urself, do what u and ur doctor know is best.  The seminar will ease ur husband's fears.  It did mine, although he wont have the surgery cause he wont stop smoking, I have and will have RNY on 12/15.  Do ur research and decide what is best for you.   I know that I will not go back to have fills so the band is not for me.  just the thought of having a needle in my stomach every 4 to 6 weeks no no forget it that not me.  I am going all the way and having the RNY at 330 lbs and 5'2 I am going to make sure it is permanent my goal weight is 140lbs.    I dont like physical discomfort and if I get sick, i wont eat.  But that's just me.  do what is right for you.  Just the other day I had an argument with my husband because I went to the store and purchased about 50 boxes of sf jello 30 cans of broth and stocked up on protein drinks.  He argued over me taking over a shelf in the pantry.  I know that wasnt about the self on the pantry, it's getting closer to the day and he is getting worried.  Well so am I worried that something might happen to post pone my surgery.  Daily I go on this website and look at the before and after pictures to keep me focused.  Talk to people like u and me the ones with good and bad experiences.  always keep ur eyes open and ur mind focused.