Stressing Out

Hello everyone. My name is Sara, I'm a 32 year old female living in Orlando, Florida. I had Roux-En-Y surgery on August 6th 2007. So far I think I've been fairly successful with the surgery, although I am very aware that there are some things that I still need to do. To date I've lost 52 pounds, 8 inches off of my hips, and 2 inches off of my waist. I work in the healthcare enviroment so I'm surronded by people who have had the surgery or who think they know a lot about the surgery. As most of you have encountered I'm sure, everyone feels like they have to put their two cents in. I appreciate the concern from everyone, and I know they are only doing it because they love me. However all of this is making me stressed. Some people tell me that I seem to be able to eat more then people they know that have had the surgery, so I worry if I am eating too much or if I've stretched my stomach. What if  I've messed this whole thing up? What if all of this ends up being for nothing? I don't think I eat too much, in fact I know that I eat a lot less then I used to and most times I can't even finish the meal I've prepared. Also....what about things with sugar? A lot of people have told me that I shouldn't eat this or I shouldn't eat that. I'll admit every know and then I feel like I just have to have something sweet. Mostly though I just eat popsicles, although occasionally I'll have part of a candy bar or doughnut. It's not every day though, or not even every week. Is this something that I need to find a way to stop completely? Is it going to ruin everything? The thing of it is that it took me 32 years to get this way and it's not going to go away overnight. I know that.  I also know that there are still changes to be made, but it's all going to take time. Am I just letting everything get to me? Do I need to just focus on the improvements I have made and the good changes I have done? Anyone's opinion on this would be greatly appreciated. Thank you all so much.

Hi Sara- It sounds like you are doing really well.  I cannot really comment on what you should or should not be eating because I had the DS and our eating is pretty different.  However,  I know sugar is something anyone with any of the WLS needs to avoid or eat in moderation.  What are the dietary guidelines your surgeon gave you?  It seems surgeons all have their own take on what one should and should not be eating.  So that is where I would start asking these questions.  Find out specifically what your surgeon thinks you should be eating and/or drinking at this stage. Good luck. Red 

Hi Sara,

Congratulations on your success. At barely three months post-op, it seems a little early for sugar. I would refer back to your surgeon's nutritional information. What was discussed at your nutrition class for this stage for you post-op?

As far as things changing overnight, for me they did. What will ruin everything is when the "once in a while" becomes the "almost every week" and that leads to the "every day." At least that is what our revision patients have shared with me, so take care to avoid the same mistakes.

Regarding your diet observers ... what used to work for me would be to tell anyone concerned that I was following my nutritionist's advice and direction (of course, that only works when it is true.)

HTH.

Kristen,
I never had a nutrition class, nor do I have a nutritionist. As far as post-op diet goes at two weeks my physician told me that I could start eating regularly again. Basically anything I had before I could have again with the exception of pork and beef. I was never told that I had to avoid anything in particular. Obviously I need to eat what I can tolerate and I still have to learn what I can tolerate. As far as things changing overnight, I feel by you telling me that I haven't that I'm failing. Is that how you really want to come across? Revision patients?? Are you a physician? I believe that if I have the willpower to stop smoking after eighteen years then I have the willpower to not like something sweet become an every day thing after everything I've went through. Thanks for your non-words of encouragement. I'm sorry but I just don't feel like if you were in my shoes at one point you should be kicking someone when they're down. Maybe you had a better support system then I did, obviously. No reason to set me up for failure.

My goodness, it seems as though you misunderstood my post. I was not "kicking you" or making commentary on your willpower. Obviously if you have had weight loss surgery you have willpower. I was trying to get an idea of where you are in terms of nutritional support and how we could help you make the most of your tool and avoid mistakes commonly made by folks further post-op.

Again, I congratulate you on your success.

Hi Kristen,  What does the HTH stand for ? Just wondering. Feel free to read my response to Sara also. Have a happy day! Terri 

HTH - Hope this Helps.

Sara,  Hi, my name is Terri. I had RNY on March 25,2005. My weight was 335 and I am 5'4" tall. Today, I weigh between 153-164 on any given day. I will be 40 in December. I had been fat since my earliest memories, in all my childhood photos, I was chubby. I was called names that I will not repeat. I had no self esteem left after a brief marriage to a man who was also obese but who was extremely verbally abusive and liked to hit me and shove me around as well, I got pregnant about 7 months into the marriage and left him when the baby was 10 months old. Had it not been for my son Mitchell, who is now 17, I would never have lived to meet my wonderful husband, who married me at over 300 pounds and never once mentioned my weight- he loved me for me and he still does. I tell you this because you are asking for help and because the people here at Obesity Help truly become family. Sometimes family builds you up and sometimes family can tear you down but in general it is all in love. In your post, you asked for our opinions and I am going to give you mine. I am also going to ask some questions so I can better understand where you are at and where you are coming from. You can respond to me here to help others or we can talk more privately and you can respond to my email address and we can talk that way. I will be honest. You may not like me, but I will still love you as a sister who has shared something HUGE with me that many normal weight people cannot and will not ever understand. So congratulations! You made the big decision and on on your way to a healthy lifestyle. Losing 52 pounds since August is a BIG DEAL! I want you to continue to lose and to keep it off. First, how long did you research the surgery and your chosen surgeon before surgery?You mentioned that you do not have a nutrictionist, did your doctor give you a plan to follow after surgery? For instance, during pre-op, I met with the dietition who works with my surgeon. She explanied that while in the hospital, I would have clear liquids only, upon returning home, I would have full liquids (cream soups, yougurt, pudding, protein drinks etc) and that I was to add protein powder to everything to promote healing.. I believe this was for 2 weeks. At week 3, I was allowed a soft diet (softly scrambled eggs, tuna salad, egg salad, chilli (not spicy), cottage cheese) in addition to the full liguids. I was to consume no more than 2-3 oz every 3 hours. No drinking for 45 minutes to an hour before or after the meal. This rule still applies today and for life except it is only 15-30 minutes before and after meals- this keeps you from pushing the food out of your pouch too soon - it needs to stay so you feel full longer and to get the nutrients from the food. Oh, also I am required to take 2 of the following daily- multi-vitamin, calcium, iron, vitamin c and a stool softener. I also give myself a B12 shot once a month for life. At week 5 or 6, I was advanced to a normal diet;  but still 2-3 oz 6 times a day. There are other rules like no untoasted bread, no fried foods, no spicy foods etc that I followed for the first year or so- the only change being, I can eat untoasted bread if it is whole grain- no white bread. I was told to avoid sugar at all costs and no caffine and no carbonated beverges. I still stick to this except for the occasional Pepsi but I time that to make sure I don't eat soon after because it will expand your pouch. When I am craving sugar, I try no sugar(SF) jello, pudding, SF popcicles, cookies make with spenda (only a handful- usually I only want 2). The longer I stay away from sugar, the less I want it.    Being able to shop in mainstream stores is sooooo worth it, When I fit into a pair of Levi's (no stretch) for the 1st time since 6th grade. I was so happy, I wanted to cry. Make goals like that for yourself!! Not number goals on the scale or a certain size but things like crossing your legs, riding a roller coaster without holding your breath to get the seat belt fastened, finding an ourfit for a special night out, no seatbelt extender on the airplane. Now I do not kow how tall you are or what your starting weight was so some of these things make not have been an issue for you. Figure out why you wanted the surgery and reach for the things that the weigh kept from you!! There are so may more things that I can share with you- so many that other members here can share, and want to share, BUT, you have to listen with an open mind and an open heart. No one here wants to hurt you, or be unsupportive but if you ask for advise or opinions, you have to be willing to take the good with the bad. Blasting someone who did what you asked  for in your post, is not the way to go. Remember we have all been there and want to share what we have learned. Let us and the ride will be so much smoother. I hope this has helped. Feel free to contact me here or via my email address. Again congrats on your surgery and the 52 pounds you have already lost. Keep it up! Terri 

Teri,      Thanks for your words. Let me start off by saying that I wasn't trying to blast anyone. We all know what a hard battle this is. I personally don't feel that it's being supportive of someone who's going through the same thing you have by saying what she said. Ultimately we are all here for support.  By telling me that everything did change for you overnight makes me feel like because all of my "habits" haven't magically disappeared that I'm doing something wrong. Her words only made me feel worse then I already do and I have a right to express that, just as all of you have a right to give me the advice I asked for and even some I didn't. I do appreciate everything, but as some of you can understand I'm sure, I tend to get a little defensive when I feel like I'm being attacked.           Now onto the other things. I have also been obese my whole life. As some of you can relate to, and as you expressed, the torment that I received was more then some can handle. Somedays I didn't think I would handle it, and somedays I didn't want to handle it anymore. Yes for many years I was suicidal.  However that is many years in the past and the thought would NEVER cross my mind now. At my heaviest, which was about a month before the surgery, I weighed 385 pounds and I stand at 5'3. I was able to lose 18 pounds before the surgery, which was on August 6th, and have lost 52 pounds since then. So in total I have lost 70 pounds since I started this journey. When I made the final decision to actually have the surgery the answer was simple. I didn't want to die. I come from a family with some very obese people, one of my uncles weighs over 600 pounds. My genetic health background is not good at all. My mother has auto-immune hepatitis and cirrhosis of the liver, and that's only the tip of the iceberg. I already suffer from high blood pressure, thyroid disease, pernicious anemia (diagnosed before the surgery, not a result of)....which if some of you don't know is a Vit B-12 and Folic Acid deficiency, panic attacks and sleep apnea. I have considered having this surgery for about 7 years, this was about the time that my health started to decline. I was only 25 at the time. Five years ago I moved to Florida and my situation changed.  The turning point came when I started working in an emergency room. I became friends with a lot of the local firefighters and I realized if something happened to me one day I didn't want it to take ten of my friends to get me off the stretcher. It had become harder for me to walk, many things that I'm sure you're all familiar with, and I just didn't want to live that life anymore.                 As far as how long I had researched the surgeon, I really didn't. My options were limited to who my insurance would cover so I went to a seminar with the closest one they mentioned, which I found out a week before the surgery there was actually one here they would have covered. He was easy to talk to, well respected, had a great history with the surgery, and a wonderful bedside manner. Somewhere along the line though the focus for nutrition needs was lost. I was given a diet guideline by the hospital, which is not the same diet the surgeon has told me to follow and they also have me eating 6ounces 6 times a day. I tried that, not knowing better at the time, and was ill for weeks. I know better now and I'm only eating a meal about three times a day with some snacks. As far as snacks go I eat things like Fiber one bars and popsicles.....I live off of those. As I mentioned before, at my two week follow up with my surgeon he told me I could start eating regular food. He told me not eat any beef, pork or lettuce for 6 months and as far as drinking before and after the meals I can't drink for a half hour before up to an hour after. Intially that was the only advice I was given. At my two month follow up we checked my first labs. My surgeon stated they were almost text book perfect, except that my iron was becoming low. I actually looked at them myself so I know everything was in the normal range, in fact my cholesterol was low. I tried to ask more questions then about what and how I should be eating. My surgeon told me that I should eat protein first, which I knew already, and eat 60 grams a day. He stated that as long as I got the 60 grams in that I could eat basically anything else I wanted and could tolerate. He told me that as far as calories go that I should take in about 1500 a day. They've also told me to avoid the carbonated beverages as much as possible, but that if I did have any to pour it over a glass of ice and let it sit for an hour to lose it's carbonation. The only supplements I am on is a multi-vitamin 3 times a day, a Pepcid complete 2 times a day, an iron supplement and to make sure I get the right amount of protein. I also get a Vit B-12 injection monthly, but that I was doing already. I don't eat any bread at all, I've tried a couple of times but just don't tolerate it. As far as meals go I try to eat as much chicken and fish as possible. I usually eat some kind of Lean Cuisine or Weigh****chers meal which 99% of the time I do not finish. I've also tried to buy a lot of fat free, low fat, and even some organic foods.         For the first time this year I was able to go to an amusement park and enjoy myself. I didn't feel like I was going to die or that my back was going to break after only a half hour. I can shower now and not get out of breath or have my back hurt. I can go to the store and not be in excruiciating pain by the time I leave. These were all things that I was having a very hard time with before the surgery. I have already achieved a lot of my goals and I'm not setting anything huge. Everyone asks me what my final weight goal is, I don't have one right now. My first goal is to get under 300 pounds, then I'll go from there. I'm still a young vibrant women with a lot of life to live. I want to get married and have kids someday, and I'm currently in school to get my RN. I think I was probably misguided along the way on the nutrion end of things. Either people figured I was young enough and had everything figured out, or I don't know. Even my regular family physician just tells me....you're stomach is smaller now, don't waste the space. And that's great advice but it sounds like I am wasting it, no one is telling me exactly what I should be putting in the space. I feel like a kid who has to relearn how to eat all over again, and in a way I am. I also feel like those that surrond me shouldn't fault me when I do make a mistake, as I'm sure I will. I'm doing the best I can. The important thing is that I'm going in the right direction. I know there are things I still need to go, exercise more and eat better, but that's all a work in my progress. Am I wrong for not beating myself up?

 

I might not be the one you want to hear from but I will tell you that you shouldn't beat yourself up. Every person is different and can respond to surgery differently. For me, my craving for sweets disappeared overnight. Others are not the same. Others got on the "protein train" a heck of a lot faster than I did. (It took me six months to find a palatable protein and I stupidly just let it slide, to my detriment.) Some patients exercise more. Yes, you know areas where you can improve. Although that is important, so is celebrating your successes.