Disheartened

Well my moving forward was stalled a month ago when my iron levels were 45 and the minimum here in Manitoba Canada to go ahead is 50.  Did my blood work today to see if my levels are up where they need to be, but for some reason I just feel so defeated and down - I don't understand why I am assuming it because I just don't want to get my hopes up - here in Manitoba its not a quick process by any means - I was put on the list almost 3 years ago now - 2 1/2 years ago I attended the group meeting - I have now attended to one on one meeting with what I call the team - surgical nurse, dietician, kienisologist, and psychologist - and I thought last time finally will get the green light to meet the surgeon, anesthesiologist, and start pre-op/post op diet teaching.  Its been a long road, a long time, and it really is starting to feel like its never going to happen-I just don't want to get excited - I really am not following the diet - not pigging out or eating crap - just really not eating much at all because of feeling like its this unobtainable dream - just venting hoping it will help in some way thanks for "listening"