Not cut out for a running partner. I need to figure this one out.
I've trained for a 1/2 and a full by myself and I would consider myself a "Zen runner". I run for the stress relief, better health, and for myself. After completing my first full marathon in December, I ask my family to join me in doing the 5 person relay the following year. I think I might be kicking myself for asking. My sister is driving me crazy!!! She brags so much and I'm finding myself feeling bad about my progress. I feel like I'm stepping away from my "Zen running belief" and I am feeling the pressure. I know she won't be running beside me (thank goodness), but how can I kick this feeling? Ugh! I really wanted this to be a family affair and I wanted to share this experience with them, but she isn't making it fun!!!
(deactivated member)
on 9/14/11 5:16 am, edited 9/14/11 5:17 am
on 9/14/11 5:16 am, edited 9/14/11 5:17 am
I kinda run into that feeling on some of my local bicycle club rides. The bike club does a good job advertising distance and pace the ride leaders are expected to maintain but some of the big guns push the pace too high for me. It can be a bit of a bummer when I am OTB 10-15 miles into the ride. I think that is getting close to your issue.
Closer to your situation and years ago my wife and I agreed that we can not cycle together. NOPE! We are still married.
What do I do?
First, I ride solo 90% of the time so I know my limits and can always limp home if I blow up. I try to find the positive in that I probably got pushed a bit harder and got some improvement on my HR and lactic acid threshold work. I remind myself it wasn't a race. Of course, these are just friends and not family so maybe that makes it less stressful for to me.
Maybe this is one of those live and learn. You can't control HOW others play the game. You can control WHO you play the game with. If you can get your sister to understand this isn't a contest then maybe you will make progress. That is a family dynamic that is for you to best understand.
You just keep the ZEN GROOVE and don't let this ZEND you for a loop. (That was bad!) LOL
Closer to your situation and years ago my wife and I agreed that we can not cycle together. NOPE! We are still married.
What do I do?
First, I ride solo 90% of the time so I know my limits and can always limp home if I blow up. I try to find the positive in that I probably got pushed a bit harder and got some improvement on my HR and lactic acid threshold work. I remind myself it wasn't a race. Of course, these are just friends and not family so maybe that makes it less stressful for to me.
Maybe this is one of those live and learn. You can't control HOW others play the game. You can control WHO you play the game with. If you can get your sister to understand this isn't a contest then maybe you will make progress. That is a family dynamic that is for you to best understand.
You just keep the ZEN GROOVE and don't let this ZEND you for a loop. (That was bad!) LOL
I too am down on myself sometimes about how my running compares to those around me. I don't run with anyone, I am thinking about joining a pace team for a half just to help me hit my time goal.
When I get donw on myself about my running I first look back to where I started, for me that is over a year ago, when I could barely walk 15min on a treadmill. I look back at my previous races to think that about a year ago I completed my first 5K in about 46.5 minutes makes me damn proud that I can easily do a 30min 5K. This helps me get my head straight and remember that we are each individuals and excel at different things, and while I do enjoy running I know it takes time to get where many of those are around me. I also look at others around me especially at races and see that while I am not fast when comparing myself to people like Dan, Bill, Jillian, Sue or Andrew or any number of others here, there are those who do see me as fast when compared to them.
The biggest thing I do when nothing else works is run with my oldest son, this instantly reminds me why I do this and that it doesn't matter how fast I am. It is the pride Me and my family have in the changes I have made to my life that keep me going.
So find why you really enjoy doing it and when you get down or are frustrated simply focus on why you are doing it.
When I get donw on myself about my running I first look back to where I started, for me that is over a year ago, when I could barely walk 15min on a treadmill. I look back at my previous races to think that about a year ago I completed my first 5K in about 46.5 minutes makes me damn proud that I can easily do a 30min 5K. This helps me get my head straight and remember that we are each individuals and excel at different things, and while I do enjoy running I know it takes time to get where many of those are around me. I also look at others around me especially at races and see that while I am not fast when comparing myself to people like Dan, Bill, Jillian, Sue or Andrew or any number of others here, there are those who do see me as fast when compared to them.
The biggest thing I do when nothing else works is run with my oldest son, this instantly reminds me why I do this and that it doesn't matter how fast I am. It is the pride Me and my family have in the changes I have made to my life that keep me going.
So find why you really enjoy doing it and when you get down or are frustrated simply focus on why you are doing it.
Paul C.
First 5K 9/27/20 46:32 - 11 weeks post op (PR 28:55 8/15/11)
First 10K 7/04/2011 1:03 First 15K 9/18/2011 1:37
First Half Marathon 10/02/2011 2:27:44 (PR 2:24:35)
First Half Ironman 9/30/12 7:32:04
First 5K 9/27/20 46:32 - 11 weeks post op (PR 28:55 8/15/11)
First 10K 7/04/2011 1:03 First 15K 9/18/2011 1:37
First Half Marathon 10/02/2011 2:27:44 (PR 2:24:35)
First Half Ironman 9/30/12 7:32:04
is she bragging because she's excited and proud of herself, or because she's competitive? Maybe she's just amazed cuz she never thought she'd do something like this.
Hoping her motives are good... so that you can just be happy for her and return to focusing on yourself.
*fingers crossed*
Hoping her motives are good... so that you can just be happy for her and return to focusing on yourself.
*fingers crossed*
Read my blog, BARIATHLETE I run because I can.
First 5K race October 4, 2009 (34.59) PR 5/22/11 (27:26)
First 5 Mile: January 1, 2011 (50:30)
First 10K: July 4, 2010 (1:03.26) New PR 4/10/11 (1:01.14)
First 10 Mile: April 11, 2010 (1:46.15)
First 1/2 marathon: June 13, 2010 (2:22.21) PR: 5/1/11 (2:17.30)
First Marathon: October 16, 2011: 5:47:20
Goofy Challenge: January 7-8, 2012
If you think you can, you can. If you think you can't, you're right. - Mary Kay Ash
First 5K race October 4, 2009 (34.59) PR 5/22/11 (27:26)
First 5 Mile: January 1, 2011 (50:30)
First 10K: July 4, 2010 (1:03.26) New PR 4/10/11 (1:01.14)
First 10 Mile: April 11, 2010 (1:46.15)
First 1/2 marathon: June 13, 2010 (2:22.21) PR: 5/1/11 (2:17.30)
First Marathon: October 16, 2011: 5:47:20
Goofy Challenge: January 7-8, 2012
If you think you can, you can. If you think you can't, you're right. - Mary Kay Ash
Hence the reason I wont join our local running club! And when I run with my husband I don't really care where he is on the run--we both know we'll end up back at the car eventually.
Please don't let anyone or anything ruin your running experience. Finish what you started then go back to running the way YOU enjoy it....that is the only way you'll keep doing it.
I'm an "old lady" runner........probably the slowest on the planet but I don't care...if my dog wants to stop running so he can sniff the trees-we stop. If I'm running alone and I just want to run wide open like a little kid, I do. Some days my knees hurt so bad I can barely walk let alone run....so that is what I do. I don't compete--If I'm in a race I keep going until the cop car kindly tells me "ma'am, the race is over"!!
Have fun!
Kim
Please don't let anyone or anything ruin your running experience. Finish what you started then go back to running the way YOU enjoy it....that is the only way you'll keep doing it.
I'm an "old lady" runner........probably the slowest on the planet but I don't care...if my dog wants to stop running so he can sniff the trees-we stop. If I'm running alone and I just want to run wide open like a little kid, I do. Some days my knees hurt so bad I can barely walk let alone run....so that is what I do. I don't compete--If I'm in a race I keep going until the cop car kindly tells me "ma'am, the race is over"!!
Have fun!
Kim
I love this response.
there's an episode of the TV show "Friends" where Phoebe goes running with Rachel. Phoebe runs all wild and flailing, cuz that's how it's fun. I picture you doing that. I do that sometimes, if that's how I feel. My boyfriend laughs at me when we are running together and he notices me breaking out dance moves on a walk break because the song on my Ipod has got a good groove. You just gotta do what you feel.
Stop, walk, stretch, dance...whatever.
I like running with my boyfriend on our long runs for the safety, company, cheerleading aspects. But during the week I run alone, and it's ALL about me. My speed, my route, my distance. I'm not a running club girl either.
there's an episode of the TV show "Friends" where Phoebe goes running with Rachel. Phoebe runs all wild and flailing, cuz that's how it's fun. I picture you doing that. I do that sometimes, if that's how I feel. My boyfriend laughs at me when we are running together and he notices me breaking out dance moves on a walk break because the song on my Ipod has got a good groove. You just gotta do what you feel.
Stop, walk, stretch, dance...whatever.
I like running with my boyfriend on our long runs for the safety, company, cheerleading aspects. But during the week I run alone, and it's ALL about me. My speed, my route, my distance. I'm not a running club girl either.
Read my blog, BARIATHLETE I run because I can.
First 5K race October 4, 2009 (34.59) PR 5/22/11 (27:26)
First 5 Mile: January 1, 2011 (50:30)
First 10K: July 4, 2010 (1:03.26) New PR 4/10/11 (1:01.14)
First 10 Mile: April 11, 2010 (1:46.15)
First 1/2 marathon: June 13, 2010 (2:22.21) PR: 5/1/11 (2:17.30)
First Marathon: October 16, 2011: 5:47:20
Goofy Challenge: January 7-8, 2012
If you think you can, you can. If you think you can't, you're right. - Mary Kay Ash
First 5K race October 4, 2009 (34.59) PR 5/22/11 (27:26)
First 5 Mile: January 1, 2011 (50:30)
First 10K: July 4, 2010 (1:03.26) New PR 4/10/11 (1:01.14)
First 10 Mile: April 11, 2010 (1:46.15)
First 1/2 marathon: June 13, 2010 (2:22.21) PR: 5/1/11 (2:17.30)
First Marathon: October 16, 2011: 5:47:20
Goofy Challenge: January 7-8, 2012
If you think you can, you can. If you think you can't, you're right. - Mary Kay Ash
When I was growing up, I came from a family of golfers. As a teen, when I went golfing with my family, my brother would get upset at every shot, ***** and moan and my dad would be giving him advice,... the whole experience was so unpleasant that I quit golf all together.
Not that that probably helps you much. I think what I'm saying is my brother made golf all about him and didn't care what affect it had on anyone else. Your sister is probably very proud of what she is doing, and maybe is very competitive. I'd like to think that since you asked your family to join you, you are all close so they are probably very proud of you and how far you have come. So try to think of her bragging as something that is all about her and has nothing to do with you. Just nod and smile and tell her you're happy for her, but remind yourself that that is just about her and has nothing to do with you. Everyone has their reasons for running, and I love your description about being a "Zen runner". Sounds great, and keep reminding yourself of that. And when you feel bad about your progress, think back to when you couldn't run at all and remember how far you've come. You've run a 1/2 and a full marathon girl! You're sister is just training for a much shorter distance. You rock!
Of course, there's always a strategy my son came up with to get out of a bad date. The next time she starts bragging, make your phone ring and pretend it's a call you have to take from someone who desperately needs your help now and you're sorry, but you have to go...
Not that that probably helps you much. I think what I'm saying is my brother made golf all about him and didn't care what affect it had on anyone else. Your sister is probably very proud of what she is doing, and maybe is very competitive. I'd like to think that since you asked your family to join you, you are all close so they are probably very proud of you and how far you have come. So try to think of her bragging as something that is all about her and has nothing to do with you. Just nod and smile and tell her you're happy for her, but remind yourself that that is just about her and has nothing to do with you. Everyone has their reasons for running, and I love your description about being a "Zen runner". Sounds great, and keep reminding yourself of that. And when you feel bad about your progress, think back to when you couldn't run at all and remember how far you've come. You've run a 1/2 and a full marathon girl! You're sister is just training for a much shorter distance. You rock!
Of course, there's always a strategy my son came up with to get out of a bad date. The next time she starts bragging, make your phone ring and pretend it's a call you have to take from someone who desperately needs your help now and you're sorry, but you have to go...
Bay to Breakers 12K May 15, 2011 (1:54:40) First 5K 5/23/11 (41:22)
Half Marathons: Napa: 7/18/10 (4:11:21) 7/17/11 (3:30:58) 7/15/12 (3:13:11.5)
SJ Rock and Roll: 10/2/10 (3:58:22) Run Surf City: 2/6/11 (3:19:54)
Diva: 5/6/12 (3:35:00)
HW/SW/CW 349/326/176
"Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds." - Albert Einstein
Half Marathons: Napa: 7/18/10 (4:11:21) 7/17/11 (3:30:58) 7/15/12 (3:13:11.5)
SJ Rock and Roll: 10/2/10 (3:58:22) Run Surf City: 2/6/11 (3:19:54)
Diva: 5/6/12 (3:35:00)
HW/SW/CW 349/326/176
"Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds." - Albert Einstein
Thank you everyone for reminding me life is what you make of it. I am a true "Zen runner" and I will continue to be one, regardless of what everyone else is doing or saying. I also, feel like I should continue to encourage her and be happy for her. Thanks everyone for allowing me to vent and giving me some great ideas. I loved reading all your replies. Happy running everyone!
When I get on my bicycle it is my "away time". For many their away time is on the golf course or inside a good book. For me on the bike, it is the time I can clear my thoughts...relax and sort things out. I think if I were to do a group ride I would lose that. There would be the plesantries, evaluating the pace, what to say and not to say.
On the bike I can clarify problems and issues...plan solutions...With very little distractions. Just me.
On the bike I can clarify problems and issues...plan solutions...With very little distractions. Just me.
Most Active
Recent Topics
