My Biggest Fear!!!!

Ugh, I'm 22 and CAN NOT find the motivation to get in the gym. Before i met my now FIANCE, I had lost 45 lbs. with a trainer. Once we got together, I guess I got "comfy" with him and stopped going to the gym. Even now trying to plan our wedding, which we don't have a date set for, I cant get myself in the gym. I think about it daily and SERIOUSLY want to get back into the gym and loose all this weight(that I gained back). I'm at my all time high of 300lbs, and I can physically fell the toll its taking on my body. My back and knees are in bad shape and hurt often. I live downstairs so I have to take the steps to get to the kitchen or bathroom or even front door. I've become lazy. I watch The Biggest Loser and get so excited and pumped and tell myself "I'm going to the gym tomorrow" ( the show comes on at night here and my gym isn't 24/7), but I never do. Then I get to thinking about loosing all my weight and how happy I'll be, but honestly I can NOT stop thinking about my fear. I have a fear of having sagging skin... my arms and my belly, especially my belly. I already have this little roll that hangs and I cant stand it. I need helping. Help with Motivation. As well as assurance. That I CAN do this. I'm in tears just thinking about it. I want to be a beautiful bride and have a long and healthy life with my man, and I feel like my fear of still looking "ugly" with saggy skin or whatever is holding me back and I have NO idea why... You would think that becoming a bride would be enough motivation for someone, but honestly with all I have going on, sadly, my wedding isn't my main priority right now..  Could it be stress? My fiance is very supportive but I am the one to put myself down all the time. What motivation yall? Whats something I could do to get out of this "slump" I'm in.

Sorry for the life story... I'm just overwhelmed and need the help.

Thanks in advance,

Erica

The biggest thing to do is stop thinking about tomorrow, and just do things today. I could always tell myself what I was going to start next week, or next month, or once the rain stops. But you know what, things happen and get in the way. If you want to go to the gym, then go to the gym NOW!  If you can't get to the gym, then just start walking, anything to keep moving and stay motivated. Take care of yourself now and it will alleviate the stress in your life.

As you lose weight, a little sagginess is inevitable, but it's better than having that skin filled up with chub. You can choose the right clothing (or wedding dress) and look beautiful! Exercise may not result in the perfect body still, but it will make you feel so much better. Don't stress over it. Maybe buy a new workout outfit or something - it might get you out there the first day. Don't overdo it though. It's not a quick fix - consistency matters more than going out full board for a short-term benefit. I agree that taking some walks to start out is a good idea. Congratulations on your upcoming wedding!!

As a mother of a bride (wedding 09/10/11) who needs to lose weight, I'll give you some tough but honest motherly advice.  And I mean it from the heart as someone who has walked many miles in your shoes.

What I read in this post is EXCUSES.  Desire to be healthy and thin is one thing, but the MOTIVATION to do it has to come from within YOU.   When you decide that your health is important enough to get off that couch, you'll do something about it.  YOU CAN DO HARD THINGS.  Yes, it will be painful, and yes, it will be hard, but you are worth it.  Find your happiness now (losing weight WILL NOT guarantee happiness) and love yourself first, regardless of what number is on a scale or the label of your jeans.

Saggy skin after weight loss is far easier to deal with than an over sized aching body.  I know.  I've lived both lives.  As a matter of fact, I have some skin, but since I exercised during the entire losing process and I have good genes, I really don't have that bad of a skin situation, and I lost 170 lbs!  You can always have plastics to fix those issues, or wear good shape wear.

You are young.  You deserve to have an amazing life in a healthy body.  Please do what is necessary to get there.  Build a support system.  Ask your fiancee to work out with you (it will be better in the long run if you both live the same healthy lifestyle).  My husband is my biggest cheerleader and he runs with me.

As for my daughter, I agreed to train her if she would be serious about it and NO WHINING.  She agreed, and has done amazing things in a short amount of time.  She didn't think she could run, but she does.  She didn't think she could do P90X, but she does.

Challenge yourself and be the woman you want to be.  You are worth it.  And please don't wait until you are 44 like I did--life isn't dress rehearsal--you only get one shot--make the best of it.

I wish you much inspiration and success.

Kim

Erica,
I couldnt' have said it better than Kim.  Lord knows I spent 20+ years making excuses why I couldnt' work out, why I couldn't lose weight, etc, etc, etc...We've all been there.

I would like to add that you need to lose the "i've got to get to the gym" mentality.  No, you don't.  The outdoors is open 24/7.  Flashlight and good shoes are the ONLY tools you need to start an exercise program.  Just take a walk around the block and next time walk a little further.  You are a strong woman and you CAN do hard things -- when you CHOOSE to.

The saggy skin is a non-issue for me.  Yes, I have loose skin but with properly fitted clothes and good foundation garments, the general public doesn't see it.  Only doctors and someone I share initimate moments with do.  Since they also saw me when that loose skin was filled with fat they deal with it.  It is physical proof of how far I have come and the success that I have achieved.  There is no shame.  However, I am also 21 years older than you.  At your young age, you will be suprised at how well your skin responds.  It is no longer an excuse you can use, ok?

Losing weight won't automatically make you happy.  It will make you healthy but you have to find your happiness.  Congrats on your engagement.  Please remember a happy bride is ALWAYS a beautful bride regardless the size of the wedding dress.  Holler if you need anything

hi. i totally know how you feel i got my motivation from the biggest loser im 21 yrs. old and i finally made the decision to make a change. im not engaed but i when i do get married i don't wanna be a plus size bride which is one of my motivations. you can do this it's gonna take some time and hard work but it's so gonna be worth it you gotta get out of this rut and get your life back your too young. you and your future husband have so much life ahead of you .

Thank you everyone!!! Especially for the brutally honest moments. My mom is like that and now that I dont live with nor see her everyday, its nice( in a way :) ) BUt I did talk to my fiance and he said he wants to work out with me and will start going on walks with me. And I was just making exuses, and thanks you for that Kim...

I just need to get over myself i guess and get my ass up and do it.

thanks again everyone!

You SOOO can do this Erica.  I promise you, the hardest steps you will take are those first ones out the door.  Once you do that, you won't look back.  Go YOU!!

i agree  with what Rob s said   its day by day..  what are you gonna do TODAY??  not looking too foward into the future at that person you want to be.. or dwelling on the past at were you were at or heading back to..    while those tv shows such as biggest loser and extreme makover are great   that one hour cannot show the real work that has to go into those transformations.. and if we could all make our changes in a five minute montage we wouldnt be on this board  

       postitng on the daily workout thread here  gives me accountability  each day.. whenver an excuse tries to come into my head I think.. i wont be able to post up that day what I did..so i get dressed go to my muay thai class, do my run , bike ride etc....

Get a home workout program like Turbo Fire or P90X that come with a complete schedule of what to do on what days and what to eat, and they give you a free coach- its like having a personal trainer in your own house to keep you motivated.  But you don't have to face the people at the gym.  Rock out in your workout clothes in front of your TV, follow the programs and you will see changes.  You can do it girl.  YOU ARE WORTH IT!!!  

Danielle R. Hodgins
http://www.obesityhelp.com/member/daniellehny