Training roadblocks
This is from my blog. If you'd like to read more or see pictures, please click here.
I’m struggling with discouragement.
For one thing, I took off the better part of this week to deal with a heel problem. It was a weird little thing that only hurt when I overflexed my foot or moved it a certain way, but I was worried that it would get worse, so I had it looked at.
The orthopedist said I had bursitis in the heel, and recommended Physical Therapy. Whatever the therapist did, or had me do, seemed to aggravate it. So I decided to back off the treatments, give it some ice and rest, and get back to it after a few days. I was also dealing with some other health-related issues.
After five days of not running, I got out there again today. In some ways, it felt like I was out for the first time. But I recognize the process. It goes something like this:
1. The feet: “This again?"
2. The legs: “I’m turning to lead. Right now. We gotta stop this before she gets carried away."
3. The bladder: “Even though we went to the bathroom ten minutes ago, I feel full."
4. The hips: ‘I’m clamping down tight. Maybe that’ll do it."
5. The old brain: “Stop it, this sucks."
6. The new brain: “Shut up, we’re doing this."
7. The old brain: “No, really. Stop."
8. The new brain: “Let’s compromise. We’ll only go to THAT tree."
9. The runner: “No compromise. We’re doing this, dammit. If it kills me, I"m doing what I set out to do today."
Eventually everything settles in and I find a comfortable pace. But today was harder than most days. It is a little on the cool side, but much more bothersome was the wind. Not only did it blow against my sweaty skin and clothes making me chilled and clammy, it also blew against me, making it feel like I was running through molasses.
But I pushed and got comfortable, even though I was dealing with wardrobe malfunctions, wedgies, hair falling in my eyes when I got too warm to wear my hat, running nose and eyes – a lot of little annoyances.
Then my feet started to get tingly and numb. This is a problem that crops up relatively frequently, and the Physical Therapist recommended I try a metatarsal support pad. I wore one under the ball of my left foot, just to see if it could make any difference. It did not. In fact, the right foot was less tingly than the left one with the pad.
Then the heel started to act up. This is significant because prior to seeing the doctor and having the PT, it never hurt to walk or run. As soon as I became aware of it, I slowed to a walk. After a few minutes, I said: “Screw it" and started to run again. I felt like a baby, like I was being too indulgent, giving in too much to minor discomforts.
When I neared the four-mile point, the wind, the chill, the heel, the tingling, the fatigue – it all became too much, and I gave up; two miles short of my goal for the day.
I have to re-commit, and resolve to do this every single day, or I won’t be ready. I can’t back off or back down. I have to dedicate my resolve, and work hard. Time is running out.
The same day I got the diagnosis on the heel pain, I learned that the Disney half-marathon has a 3.5 hour time limit.
I did know that some of the races had limits, but I didn’t know Disney was one of them. Apparently, if you don’t hit certain mile posts along the course by a certain time, a Shuttle of Shame will come by and sweep you up, depositing you unceremoniously at the end of the course. In that moment, the Happiest Place on Earth must seem like the most Humiliating Place on Earth.
Good night nurse and thanks for playing!
The bad(est) news is that at the pace I ran in the two 5ks I’ve completed thus far, I ran about a 17-minute mile. In order to do the half-marathon in 3.5 hours, I have to do better than a 15-minute mile.
I don’t doubt I could work up to that, but the prescription to back off training looked like it would really hinder that progress.
I had to prove to myself that I could do it. So defying the Physical Therapist’s advice I ran 6 miles on the road in my neighborhood. I mapped out the distance from my house to the deli – 3 miles door-to-door. What I didn’t notice, in all my many years of driving that route multiple times each day, is how incredibly hilly it is.
It was tough, steep, windy and cold, but I managed to run it and get back home in 1.5 hours. That’s a 15-minute mile. But I was pushing hard, and I don’t know if I’ll be able to sustain that for the 13.1-mile course at Disney.
I guess its at this point that the initial enthusiasm and energy start to wane. Here is the place where the boys are separated from the men, so to speak. What happens when the going gets rough?
The old me would lie down, go shopping, eat. The new me will grouse, but do everything to keep going. I have to. I’m stronger than that. I have to be. Weakness and resignation were what got me in trouble in the first place. I have to lift my head, straighten my back, and fix my gaze on the finish line.
I have so much to prove to myself. I have convinced myself that I can do anything if I work hard. I don’t want that to be an empty notion. I have said I want to do this til the voices in my head that say “I can" beat up the voices that say “I can’t."
I must not give in. I must not give up. I just have to keep going.
Thanks for your kind words. I thought about your post when I was out there today, and it helped spur me on.
Just keep with your training and know, that you can do this. I to have been lacking on my training, it is getting colder here and I hate the treadmill, so I have been making excuses. But maybe after reading this I can take my own advice and get out there and just train!!!
Erin
The PT said she disagreed with the doc's diagnosis of bursitis, btw. She said she thinks its tarsal tunnel syndrome. But no matter, she says they would both be treated the same. She recommends orthotics. I'm going to have to look into that next.
Good luck with your training. I hate the treadmill, too. For one thing, its boring as hell, and for another, I feel like I'm struggling to keep my balance on it.
It looks like your avatar photo was shot on a boardwalk. What beach were you on?
on 11/22/10 10:27 am
Thanks for your post. The Disney half is Saturday, January 8th. The full marathon is on Sunday of that weekend. (Some people do both! Its called the Goofy Challenge.) There are links on my blog.
Today I started experimenting with different shoes after a consult at a running specialty store. I think the new ones helped the heel; but I'm still having a tingly sensation in my toes that is quite troublesome.
We were blessed with a magnificently weird warm day here on the east coast today. If only the weather would stay like this!
Anyway, best of luck to you. And keep up that can-do attitude. I'll try to do the same!