Juggling family, training, money ????

Thanks for all the responses today guys.  It certainly gives me something to think about and to pass on to my wife.

I really appreciate the time you took to answer my questions.

Scott

I will have been married for 20 years come next month. I have to say during all that time, I have always had a hobby or a project that my family wasn't that interested in. And, for some reason, they always seem to be expensive ones (figure skating, sports photography, now tri). But the bottom line is: I don't think you do your family any favors if everything is always about the family. There has to be some "me" time in there. For everyone in the family, so that includes your wife.

So, in principle, there is nothing wrong with being a triathlete and training and spending money on it. The key is balance, budgeting and mutual agreement. It doesn't necessarily have to be formal agreement or budget, but sometimes that can help.

The other thing is, that what makes sense can change over time. When our kids were little, we did a lot less stuff away from the family. Now that they are older, one almost out of the house, I have more freedom to train because my kids don't want me around 24/7. But, even so, sometimes I have to give up training the way I want or the equipment I want or a race I want to enter.

For example, on Sundays I go bike riding with my daughter. I have to ride *really slow* and we never get much more than 6-8 miles in. This is not the bike ride I would be taking if it was totally up to me. But I think it's important to include her, more important than whatever extra "umph" I could get from having one more real bike session a week.

I also have a budget for how much I spend each month. This is why I own only one pair of bike shorts. If they are dirty when I want to ride, I just wear workout pants (or fish them out of the hamper )

I try to buy everything on sale too. I got my long sleeve bike jersey for 50% off. Last year's model. Btw, if it's cold when we run, I use it as a running jacket. I haven't got a separate running jacket. When I got a second bike jersey -- a short sleeve one for summer -- it felt like a big extravagance.

In terms of involving my family in my new enthusiasm, I've had mixed results with that. It's actually kind of boring for spectators at these events and my family sees them as one more sacrifice they do for me. So one way I sacrifice for them is to not insist they come to everything. Even though I'm the kind of person that wants them there.

I also try to combine events I'm interested with events they are interested in. Like I picked a 5K that was attached to a St. Patrick Day's festival. After they watched me cross the finish line, we went on the Tilt-a-Whirl. They are coming to Wildflower but the emphasis for them will be the camping, not the triathlons. They probably won't come to most of the rest unless there is something fun for them too.

Btw, even if you don't end up taking advantage of the training, joining a tri club, even one far away, can save you money. I paid $65 for my membership and so far I have gotten: 2 - $50 gift certificates in raffles, $20 off event entry fees and 10-20% off many of my purchases. So I'm actually ahead by a couple hundred bucks! That $65 is the absolute best investment I've made in this sport, in fact.

Are you definitely in for Wildflower and if so, which race are you doing?   I'm flying in to San Jose on Thursday night and driving into Lake San Antonio on Friday morning.   Gonna hopefully have some time to ride the whole bike and run course so I'll at least know what the 'pain train' has in store for Saturday. :)  

I haven't put down my money yet, but I'm definitely going to be there to cheer you on at a minimum. My current plan is to do the Olympic course on Sunday.

Are you camping out or staying in a hotel?

Part of the 'deal' with Tri-California is they are supposed to be putting my coach and I up in quarters that are somewhere on the campground (if available).  At a minimum they are giving up a camping pass.  The whole mystique of that race and what I understand makes it special is the camping and the atmosphere which make it the Woodstock of triathlon.   Well...   It's the camping and the naked aid station. :)

I wouldn't want to miss that so that's so we're probably camping.   

Naked aid station? No one told me about that!

We have an RV that my FIL gave us. It's enormous and I haven't figured out what we're going to do with it yet. The web site says all the sites with hookup will be gone by Tues.

Scott,

I stuggle with these things also.  I'm in pharmacy school, so that comes first.  Until recently I had a 20 hr/wk job and still tried to get my training in and all my studying done.  My husband works out of town, but when he's home, I spend most of my time with him.  In fact, I didn't get more than one or 2 workouts total in the 2 weeks he was home then I had a tri the following weekend.

My finances don't allow for a lot of extra spending either.  I only do one really big, expensive race a year, and the rest of them I stay pretty close to home.  There's no way I could afford a better bike, so I make due with what I have.  The one thing I want is a computer on it.

I will equivalate family time with study time.  Some days I get up early to study before school or finish assignments because I think better in the mornings.  I also work out better at that time of day.  Those days I don't get a workout in.  I didn't do as well at my tri last weekend as I would have liked, but it went according to my training.  I just know that some things will take precedence over others and I can only do so much.  So I didn't do as well as I would've liked, I still managed to complete the race in a decent manner.  Good enough.

I'm learning to not be so hard on myself and enjoy the ride as I'm able.

Probably doesn't help much, but that's how I handle things. 

Linn