Rants & Blues

I just need to rant and then move on.

Did you ever feel like you had to fight an uphill battle to do something that you didn't even want to do in the first place?
  Well this is how I'm feeling right now.  I have been exercising pretty consistently for the last 2+ years.  I have been going to the gym 3-5 days a week as well as adding in some additional exercise such as riding my bike to work or on the weekends.  I have completed to sprint-triathlons and 3 races ranging in length from 2 mile to 6.2 miles.  That may not sound like much, but for someone who absolutely hates to run, it's quite a lot.  Let me tell you how much I hate to run.  I failed P.E. in High School because I refused to run laps.  It's no fun being the fat kid and having to run.  It's no fun failing the presidential physical fitness test every year.  You get the idea.  So for me to have committed 2 years to exercise is a major accomplishment.
  I have made exercise part of my new lifestyle.  It was a daily routine for me.  Get up; go to the gym, shower and go to work.  It was routine.  The gym was convenient, it was warm and secure, and it was available during the hours I had available to work out.  The most important part is I was doing it. 
  Well I had to give up my gym membership because of financial reasons, and I have had to give up on any idea of running any triathlons this year.  I am signed up for one, but I had a whole race season planned out.  I have already missed out on 1 race, and 1 long distance bike ride.  These races are my motivation, my goal, and my focus that helps me to keep exercising.  Without them, I have no reason to go to the gym, (blah, blah, blah do it for your health. Well that has never worked for me in the past, and it won't work now.  If it would have, I never would have gotten as fat as I did.  Competition is what keeps me focused, not some ideal).
  The gym was great; it was available in the morning before I went to work.  It was a warm, safe, comfortable place to exercise.  This time of year, I leave for work in the morning before it's light out, and it dark out very shortly after I get home.  I'm not going to go out and run bike under those conditions.
  About a year ago, I found a local triathlon club (the only club for that matter), but when I contacted them, I was informed that they didn't have any provisions for new athletes.  They were strictly for accomplished triathletes.  I looked at their workouts and their run times and I decided they were right.  I'd never be able to keep up with them.  So back to the gym I went.
  I also looked at team in training, but that was a joke.  While they do good work, they expect you to commit to raising a huge amount of money.  I have never been able to do that.  I suck at fund raising, and I would have had to agree to cover whatever shortfall I had in my fundraising.  Well If I had thousands of dollars available to guarantee something like that, I'd just hire a professional coach.  So team in training was out of the question.
  Now that the gym has gone away, I thought I would contact the local triathlon club again as I had made some progress.  I though that the challenge might be good for me, push me to progress and make advances.  I also thought that if I could find others running at night or early morning hours, I might be inclined to give it a try.  So I sent emails to all of the members I could find contact information for.  I got exactly 1 response and that was to tell me that they club was disbanding and there was no plan to reform. 
  So now I have no gym, no focus or motivation, no source of outside support or training and I feel like everything is conspiring to keep me from exercising.  It's cold and raining outside, and even if I had any inclination to try running outside, the weather has put an end to that.  I feel like I am being forced to fight an uphill battle to accomplish something that I don't even want to be doing in the first place.
  All I want to do right now is gorge myself on food, and crawl back into bed.  And you know what?  I would do it too if it wouldn't make me physically sick to do that.
  Scott  

Scott,

FINANCIAL ASSISTANCE

The Sonoma County Family YMCA provides access to individuals and families who are unable to pay the full published fee. Financial assistance is offered on a sliding scale based on family size and income.

To apply, complete a confidential application form available at our Member Center. All requests for financial assistance are reviewed on an individual basis. Funds provided are from contributions to the Community Support Campaign and other YMCA fundraising events.
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Have you tried doing this? If not, go fill out an application, let me know what they say. I will help you out. I was fully sponsored for all my events this year. If it's not too much I would love to help / pay it forward for someone else.

 

Happy to let you rant.  It's good to let it out to a group like ours. 

I doubt there's anything I could say that would help you feel better, but I want you to know that I really am thinking about you and hoping for the best for you in this difficult situation.  I have a coworker in a similar situation and her husband is not able to get unemployment.  They may end up selling their house and renting an apartment just to stay afloat.  I hope things end up better soon.

As far as the exercising goes, I don't know how to help motivate anyone else.  I know you tried a tri club, but is there a beginning runner's group?  That might be just as beneficial in the running department.  Not sure what all I could suggest for the other 2 parts, but that's all I can think of.

Still wishing you all the best and thinking nothing but good thoughts.

Linn

I just needed to rant a bit.  It always helps to let it out.

I got out of the house and took the dog for a 5 mile walk.
That helped a bit too, other than being wet and cold, it was a nice walk.
It is the best the dog has ever done.  If he walked like that all the time, I'd make him my running partner.

I'll look at the Y again, but I'm pretty sure they are going to say my income is too high.
I had a similar thing when I was trying to buy my house.  They have a new buyer program in my community to help people, but where I live, I make too much, but not enough to purchase a home by myself.  So the economy dumped and so did the housing market.  My wife and I were finally able to buy a house.  I never thought I would be able to own a home live in the community I was born in, I always figured I would have to move away.  Things were great until my wife lost her job.  Now we can pay rent and buy food I think.  It's only been 2 months, we have been having to take from savings to cover some expenses.  The Y was an easy but unpleasant cut to make.


Thanks for letting me vent, once I quit feeling sorry for myself, I'll figure something out.  Right now it just feels oppressive.

Scott

Scott,

Like others, I feel for your situation. I cant say that I know what your going thru. I have been very fortunate that both my wife and I have kept our jobs, but anyday I could be in the same boat as you, since my wife works for a company supplying automakers.

I gave up my Y membership last spring and have yet to go back. I would run and bike whenever I could, and for swimming, I went to the lake and did open water swims. It helped my swimming immensely. I would swim at the the local beach, and swim from beach bouy to beach bouy. If anything went wrong I jsut stood up or grabbed onto the bouy.

Even this year I have yet to join the Y. I have found that I can do without the Y. Yes, I do swim with my local triathlon club during the recent swim clinic. Even with that cost I stil have saved a large amount of money since cancelling the Y membership.

I guess what I'm saying, if you want to continue to do triathlons and get the effect of the challenge then you will find a way to do it.

Get out of your confort zone and acheive theose goals you want to acheive. If its cool outside, then put on another shirt, and get outside. I have been running in single digit temperatures in recent weeks.

Dont give up on your goals, just find a different way to acheive them. Look at local schools, some times they have open swim time for just a couple bucks each session. Think about what you really need to acheive this years goals. Do you need a gym? Do you just need a pool?

Good luck, and we will always be here to help you.

Curt

Vent away.  Sometimes that is the only thing we can do.

Don't give up on the exercise Scott - you've come so far!!  Have you looked into groups at your local running store?  There are several stores in my area, and all of them have a weeknight run or two - check it out - I sure you will meet people who are also looking for running partners.  I bet the local bike shops also have groups that go out cycling together.  

I do most of my running at night - yeah - sometimes it sucks - it can get pretty cold in NJ, but often I find it therapeutic after a crappy day at work.  I just layer up, bring my phone and map out a route that doesn't have a lot of traffic (I run through a development at night).  I wear a headlamp at night - it really does help.

I hope things get better.



 

Scott
Running in P.E. in middle school was absolutely horrific for me, high school we had a slack coach and I got out of doing any running.  I'm sorry you're going through all of this but reflecting back on how you felt back then as to how you feel now should motivate you to keep striving forward to meet your goals.  Don't give up, I really don't have any advice to add that hasnt been suggested to you already.  You do have an outside source of outside support & motivation here on this forum.  You have to stay strong to rise above this situation. You will only fail if you quit and then you will be even more miserable with yourself for backsliding. 

You can try to look for gym equipment on craigslist under free stuff or on your local FREECYCLE group.  I have managed to get a weightbench and a stationary bike so far for free.  I have spent about $40 on an exercise ball and some little weights at Walmart. 

I live in southeast Louisiana and the weather ALWAYS sucks here.  Hot, humid and lots of mosquitos!  I completely understand the weather thing! 

It sounds like you are doing incredible even though you hate it.