Need some support

Hi all,    Last fall I did Couch to 5K and in November did my first 2 5k's.  Last week I started a beginner group run for a 10k coordinated through a local running store.  We run as a group on Tues and Thursday evenings and have other running to do on other days.  I joined to have the team support, motivation and accountability.  The first night (2 miles) was really hard, but I kept at it and I'm feeling better each time I run.  I've been the slowest runner in the group - I expected that, and I'm really ok with that.  I'm doing this for me and I'm not going to push too hard and hurt myself - I know my time will improve as I keep running.  Today we did 2.5 miles and it felt good - I wasn't even last for about 1/2 of the run! So...why do I need support?  I got back to the store and went around a corner to stretch with some of the others in my group.  Since I'm slower, I don't get to meet the other runners while running so I'm trying to connect before and after.  I rounded the corner and started to stretch, then overheard a couple of women saying "I don't mind if I'm last as long as I'm not running alone" and "It's even worse if you're last and the leader comes back to run with you" and then there was laughter.   Hearing those things just cut right into me.  I don't think they even knew I was there or that I was the last one in, but it still got to me and the tears started and kept going.  After I settled down I realized I wasn't upset that I came in last - I had a great run.  I was upset at the lack of support from other runners in this BEGINNER GROUP - it's not a race, and even if it was we should support each other as runners. I'm sure some of my upset was also because I was finally starting to feel like I "fit in" with other runners because I'm doing this group and those comments really got to me. So...thanks for listening!!  Becky

Hey, I'm just as emotional about things like that so don't worry about it. It's hard not to take stuff like that personally but those are people that are working in the "group think"  mentality. One person says something stupid and because the rest don't have much guts to say otherwise, they agree and laugh.

You know your own  strength. You've gone from 275 to 145. You are 5lbs away from goal. That is amazingly inspirational!!! According to that YouTube video, you look fantastic and have come a long, long way.

You're running races -- 5Ks -- something that most naturally thin people don't have the energy or will to do.

And you know what? When you look at all those achievements, a few blabber-mouths that run at the front of a running group can't touch you with a 10-foot pole.

I agree with the previous post - you are doing wonderfully well!  I tend to react sometimes as you do, and I think it's because even though we've lost the weight and are succeeding at getting healthy and achieving goals, there is still that sensitive fat person lurking inside us - the one who heard negative things directed at us all our fat lives.  My best advice is to ignore those people and think "So what?"    You will be surpassing them before it's over because you are doing it right - concentrating on your goal and your progress and ignoring everybody else.  And when you do you have my permission to blow mental raspberries at them, and think to yourself  "I'm beating you!!!"  Besides if they have that mentality, they might be trying too hard and wind up injuring themselves. 

So there.  You go girl!

Marcia

Thank you, thank you!!  Both responses are just what I needed to hear!  Later I wished I had some clever, funny thing to say at the time, but I got emotional so quickly that if I had said anything, it wouldn't have been nice.    I'll be back out there tomorrow night and will try again to connect.  And...I think I'll suggest to the group leader to have us all introduce ourselves so we at least learn names and faces - that may help with supporting each other -first, middle or last! Thanks again! Becky

Hi Becky! I really feel for you!  Like the other poster said, we all have that awkward feeling inside of us that we are still the fat person standing out in the crowd.  But you're not ... you're thin and you've come a long way!  I like your idea of asking the leader for everyone to introduce themselves.  Maybe have everyone make a statement about why they are in the running club and what they hope to accomplish.  That way you could casually mention how much weight you've lost and that you are proud to be running, even though you might be last, because a year ago you wouldn't have even been able to run at all.  That would certainly shut them up and probably make them realize what they say can really impact a person's confidence.  On the other hand, my mentality would be that kharma would reach around and bite them in the butt!  Haha! Keep up the great work!  You really are doing awesome! --Deanna  :)