Spouses who force feed.

Hello, I keep getting into relationships where guys keep trying to control me buy either starving me or over feeding me.  What's my problem? Thanks,  Victoria

I see that you just registred today.  This may be a better question for the main board.

Hello Scott, Victoria here, Thank you for your response, I just fininshed reading a book on Emotional Abusers, I relearned that this kind of Abuse comes from parents and their abusive behavior.  Becuse of my father's infedelity, my mother became an alchololic therefor my father used to force feed my mother to combact the effects of her drinking because she was a violent drunk.   Then in turn, most of the boyfriends I had in highschool were drunks, (I spent most of my years in alateen, etc...) My first husband turned out to be a cocaine addict and a pedifile; my second husband tried to strangle me to death. In my thereapy I wrote this poem: Independance- Being single like a rose; bearing thorns to protect; only to die alone.   I'm, still here and being humble with every step. Thanks, 

Unless you are doing somethign to provoke either extreme, its not your problem. Its their effort to show their perception of affection to you by doing what they think you need to do or what to have, so its their perception or issue,...not necessarily yours.   May I be so bold as to suggest a friendly conversation as to ask why they feel they need to treat you the way they do so you can learn if it si their desire or a results of some message or signal they feel they have received and are nterpretting from you.   If after you express how their actions make you feel, which isn't anyone being right or wrong, because we are all entitled to our feelings,...if things don't improve,...time to move on.   Unless you are married, then there is an obligation and committment to make a significant effort to work through it.   If you are not married, it may be one of those items on the list of incompatibilities. Good luck with that.