One week at the gym. One woman's story!!!

Dear Diary... For my 50th birthday this year, my husband purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me. Although I am still losing since my WLS, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try. I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer Named Joe, who identified himself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear. My husband seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started! The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress... MONDAY Started my day at 6:00 a.m. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was Well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Joe waiting for me. He is something of a Greek god - with blond hair, dancing eyes and a dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo!! Joe gave me a tour and showed me the machines. He took my pulse after Five minutes on the treadmill. He was alarmed that my pulse was so fast, but I attribute it to standing next to him in his Lycra aerobic outfit. I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which he conducted his aerobics class after my workout today.. Very inspiring! Joey was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time he was around. This is going to be a FANTASTIC week!! TUESDAY I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door. Joe Made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air -- then he put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile. Joey's rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT!! It's a whole new life for me. WEDNESDAY The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn't try to steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot. Joe was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered other Club members.  His voice is a little early in the morning and when he scolds, he gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying. My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Joe put me on the stair monster. Why the hell would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators?  Joe told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. He said some other crap too. THURSDAY Joe was waiting for me with his vampire-like teeth exposed as his thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl. I couldn't help being a half an hour late, it took me that long to tie my shoes.  Joe took me to work out with dumbbells. When he was not looking, I ran and hid in the ladies room. He sent Muffy to find me. Then, as punishment, he put me on the rowing machine -- which I sank. FRIDAY I hate that @#$%, Joe, more than any human being has ever hated any Other human being in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny, anemic little cheerleader. If there was a part of my body I could move without Unbearable pain, I would beat him with it. Joe wanted me to work on my triceps. I don't have any triceps! And if you don't want dents in the floor, don't hand me the **** barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich.  The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition teacher.  Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir director? SATURDAY Joe left a message on my answering machine in his grating, shrilly Voice wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing him made me want to smash the machine with my planner. However, I lacked the strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight hours of the Weather Channel. SUNDAY I'm having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go and thank GOD that this week is over. I will also pray that next year my husband will choose a gift for me that is fun -- like a root canal or a hysterectomy.

Hey Richard! Remember me? http://obesityhelp.com/photos/uzone,photos/action,gallery/al bumId,1173/curPhoto,18861/ How's it going Kathy? Earl

Hey Earl, You bet I do....  Sorry for being gone so long, life has me making major changed.  But I missed my OH family big time.  I so enjoyed our time at Lexington.  And the pictures are great!!!  I was gone when everyone was posting the pics so thanks for sharing.  We really had a great time!! So how are you my friend?  Are you still lifting weights?  This time last year I was so buff and feeling so strong.  Now a year later and 3 PS I am well  I would call me a marshmellow.  I want to get back to working out but without my PT I am lost.  I was thinking of taking some workout routines from some of the websites.  I NEED to get started as I miss it SOOOOOO much. Well, I hope all is well with you!!!  Don't be a stranger ok? Take care, Kathy

Hey Kathy, Everything is great with me. Training hard to track season and still trying to lose those last few (or 50) pounds. Those first workouts back can be a killer. Just start, don't worry about a PT. Hugs Earl

Kathy,   You are HILLIARIOUS!! Thanks for the chuckle this morning! Sandy

Your welcome Sandy, This was just for fun.  There were those that thought it was for real!!!  I will have to post this again but ; letting people know it's a joke.  I love working out and would not stop for nothing.... Have an awesome day!!! Take care, Kathy

That was hysterical!!!! Is that for real, cuz if so, you gotta get on the stage or sumpthin'.  i'm cereal as oatmeal.  You are a funny lady! Thanks for the laugh.

Hi Neecee, No it's not for real, and I wish I could take credit for it but this was an email that I received yesterday and wanted to share with everyone...... I am glad it made you laugh!!! But don't forget to hit the gym :-) Take care, Kathy

I knew you were joking. If you are 50, I'm 12.  Good one. Scott

Hi Scott, What a sweetheart!!!  Yes I am 50, but you made my day :-) This was an email that someone sent me.  I was just laughing my butt off and thought I would share. Take care, Kathy