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Topic: RE: X-Post -- Letter to a friend (long)
Thanks for your reply.
I too, am a Christian, and as my friend suggested to me, I try to do something for someone else everyday that I believe will please God.
At the same time, I'm trying to figure out what it is He wants me to do, and yes, I sometimes feel angry with Him, in that He allowed these conditions to rob me of the profession I loved, and that I felt I was called to do. " The Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away; blessed be the Name of the Lord."
I even used to play "reporter" as a child, with a little reel to reel tape recorder my parents once gave me for my birthday. I would sit in my room for hours and "play radio", picking up objects and "ad libbing" commercials for the product. I'd interview my friends, who pretended to be storybook characters. Of course I didn't know that was what I had been doing until much later, when I began to study and learn my craft.
It's something that has always been with me, and felt as natural as breathing.
I ask God why many times; perhaps I made my career my "god", and it was His way of getting my attention. I have begged for forgiveness many times, and for Him to please restore me as he did Job. In fact, I always say, if you want to know about me, read the book of Job.
I'm still waiting for the end of the book to happen for me. If He did it for Job, He can do it for me, but after 14 years, it's getting hard to keep the faith, and deflect the anger and emotional pain that I feel.
After all, despite the fact that I'm saved, I'm still human.
I too, am a Christian, and as my friend suggested to me, I try to do something for someone else everyday that I believe will please God.
At the same time, I'm trying to figure out what it is He wants me to do, and yes, I sometimes feel angry with Him, in that He allowed these conditions to rob me of the profession I loved, and that I felt I was called to do. " The Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away; blessed be the Name of the Lord."
I even used to play "reporter" as a child, with a little reel to reel tape recorder my parents once gave me for my birthday. I would sit in my room for hours and "play radio", picking up objects and "ad libbing" commercials for the product. I'd interview my friends, who pretended to be storybook characters. Of course I didn't know that was what I had been doing until much later, when I began to study and learn my craft.
It's something that has always been with me, and felt as natural as breathing.
I ask God why many times; perhaps I made my career my "god", and it was His way of getting my attention. I have begged for forgiveness many times, and for Him to please restore me as he did Job. In fact, I always say, if you want to know about me, read the book of Job.
I'm still waiting for the end of the book to happen for me. If He did it for Job, He can do it for me, but after 14 years, it's getting hard to keep the faith, and deflect the anger and emotional pain that I feel.
After all, despite the fact that I'm saved, I'm still human.
HW 405/SW 397/CW 138/GW 160 Do the research! Check the stats!
The DS is *THE* solution to Severe Morbid Obesity!
Topic: RE: X-Post -- Letter to a friend (long)
Thank you so much for sharing this, it is I'm sure how many of us feel. I had always planned on being so independant as a senior citizen and not one of those people that climb into a rocking chair when they hit retirement age like my grandma did. I'm now realizing she probably had fibro too. I can remember her being near tears and telling my mom 'But it hurts so bad when I move around." Well I'm not in a rocking chair because I can barely climb out of bed most days. It is very disappoonting to be where I never wanted to be, however I have found some solace in being able to knit and crochet items that are donated to Salvation Army.
We have to learn to re evaluate our dreams and maybe learn to accept less. As a Chrtistian I've found the only way I can do this is surrender all the feelings to God but even then it's trying. I've had to learn to "make friends" with my pain. Not a friend I like but one who is there and not leaving so I have to learn to tolerate and live with it. It is ever present and often all consuming. I take my meds and do my stretches and anything else that will ease the pain but I know it will still be there when I'm done. Even at night it is there to wake me from the few hours of sleep I hope to get.
I wish you and your friend more pain free days than painful ones but I know that may well not happen. If nothing else know that you two aren't alone and we are with you. Feel free to post anytime and even your friend if she can use some support I'm sure no one will mind if she hasn't had surgery, we are more concentrated of the fibro than any surgery. Bless you both!
Topic: X-Post -- Letter to a friend (long)
I answered an e-mail today from a college friend who has lupus, who now teaches at a university overseas. It sums up so much of what I'm dealing with, being dually diagnosed with lupus and fibromyalgia, and on Social Security Disability. I already see a counselor I decided to post it here. It sums up how I'm feeling, and how I imagine many of you feel, or have felt, who have tried to overcome disability from these dreaded diseases. I already see a therapist to help me deal with this, but I thought it might be helpful to someone else, who may be feeling the same way.
You live a great life! I had envisioned myself doing what you're doing, traveling the world - until I was dealt the lupus/fibro blow. I know you deal with the same issues, at least for lupus, but it seems as soon I make progress, everything I'm trying to do is derailed by one cir****tance or another, or the dreaded major flare. The pain has become significantly less severe with the weight loss, To date, I have lost 245 pounds, the absolute maximum my doctor will allow prior to surgery. About 15-20 pounds of the weight is skin, and after surgery to remove it, I will weigh between 140 and 145. The fatigue is incredible! Every day, about 3:30 or 4:00, I am barely able to hold my eyes open, and I have to go take a nap, usually for about two hours. I am trying not to lose hope, but it seems my dreams to overcome SLE and Fibromyalgia and be productive again are slipping quickly beyond my grasp. I'm on hiatus from school this year, to get the loose skin on my lower body removed from the weight loss. It will be a staged process, with liposuction first to remove the fat deposits hanging onto the loose skin, then a thighplasty, to remove the excess skin. Each healing process is about 6 months, barring complications. It's a medical issue, as no matter how carefully I disinfect my skin and make efforts to keep the folds dry, I end up with cellulitis or cutaneous yeast infections. I am building an antibiotic resistance, as this last infection,about three weeks ago, I had to use two different types, in order to competely eradicate the infection. I should own stock in Johnson's Baby Powder and PhisoHex (it's still available to doctors for surgical scrub, and my doctor gets it for me). I found this great lotion that's made by Vaseline, Moisture Rescue, and it's better than the old Vaseline Intensive Care. In spite of all I do, I still get the infections! I was so scared it was something bigger, I went and got tested for AIDS! Of course, that was negative. So, that's what's going on with me, and it seems my dream to become a Bariatric Registered Dietician, will have to go wherever it is that dreams unrealized go, as it seems to no longer be a dream deferred. I'm trying my best to deal with this and not get depressed. I've always been one to set my goals very high, and I've not had a great deal of difficulty in attaining them, but perhaps I've met my match with SLE and Fibro. I hate to think of myself as a pitiful soul who accomplished great things in the past, but is now a "has been". An accomplishment for me these days is being able to get out of bed, and make it through the day without "lupus/firbo fog". I'm so afraid that this disease will rob me of my mental faculties, and I have even gotten lost when taking a very familiar route. I also dread being afflicted with the "family demon" - dementia. Unfortunately, that's how things stand with me. I'd give more than a million dollars to be rid of all this and go back to life as it was. Sorry I didn't have better news, but as the late, great Jack Gibson used to say on the radio - "That's the truth, Ruth". Hope the upcoming school year goes well for you, and that you are flare-free!
You live a great life! I had envisioned myself doing what you're doing, traveling the world - until I was dealt the lupus/fibro blow. I know you deal with the same issues, at least for lupus, but it seems as soon I make progress, everything I'm trying to do is derailed by one cir****tance or another, or the dreaded major flare. The pain has become significantly less severe with the weight loss, To date, I have lost 245 pounds, the absolute maximum my doctor will allow prior to surgery. About 15-20 pounds of the weight is skin, and after surgery to remove it, I will weigh between 140 and 145. The fatigue is incredible! Every day, about 3:30 or 4:00, I am barely able to hold my eyes open, and I have to go take a nap, usually for about two hours. I am trying not to lose hope, but it seems my dreams to overcome SLE and Fibromyalgia and be productive again are slipping quickly beyond my grasp. I'm on hiatus from school this year, to get the loose skin on my lower body removed from the weight loss. It will be a staged process, with liposuction first to remove the fat deposits hanging onto the loose skin, then a thighplasty, to remove the excess skin. Each healing process is about 6 months, barring complications. It's a medical issue, as no matter how carefully I disinfect my skin and make efforts to keep the folds dry, I end up with cellulitis or cutaneous yeast infections. I am building an antibiotic resistance, as this last infection,about three weeks ago, I had to use two different types, in order to competely eradicate the infection. I should own stock in Johnson's Baby Powder and PhisoHex (it's still available to doctors for surgical scrub, and my doctor gets it for me). I found this great lotion that's made by Vaseline, Moisture Rescue, and it's better than the old Vaseline Intensive Care. In spite of all I do, I still get the infections! I was so scared it was something bigger, I went and got tested for AIDS! Of course, that was negative. So, that's what's going on with me, and it seems my dream to become a Bariatric Registered Dietician, will have to go wherever it is that dreams unrealized go, as it seems to no longer be a dream deferred. I'm trying my best to deal with this and not get depressed. I've always been one to set my goals very high, and I've not had a great deal of difficulty in attaining them, but perhaps I've met my match with SLE and Fibro. I hate to think of myself as a pitiful soul who accomplished great things in the past, but is now a "has been". An accomplishment for me these days is being able to get out of bed, and make it through the day without "lupus/firbo fog". I'm so afraid that this disease will rob me of my mental faculties, and I have even gotten lost when taking a very familiar route. I also dread being afflicted with the "family demon" - dementia. Unfortunately, that's how things stand with me. I'd give more than a million dollars to be rid of all this and go back to life as it was. Sorry I didn't have better news, but as the late, great Jack Gibson used to say on the radio - "That's the truth, Ruth". Hope the upcoming school year goes well for you, and that you are flare-free!
HW 405/SW 397/CW 138/GW 160 Do the research! Check the stats!
The DS is *THE* solution to Severe Morbid Obesity!
Topic: RE: Disability Hearing
You are not panicking. applying fior Social Security Disability is a very complicated process. Over 2/3 of claimants are denied after their initial claim, over 90% are denied at the reconsideration stage. Your best chance of being approved for SSD will be at the hearing stage, where more than 50% of claims are awarded.
www.socialsecuritydisability.tv ~ The internet's ultimate disability resource
Topic: RE: 30 mg Cymbalta before bedtime?
My doc mentioned that Cymbalta does keep some awake. Not in an energy boost kind of way either while that would be wonderful if it did LOL.
I was tired, but couldn't sleep, it was weird. I would think if its point is to block the pain, its going to block it around the clock once you get it into your system. It honestly took me about 2 weeks before I felt a little better.
I'm still missing my back pain meds since I can't take them after surgery, but as I said, I know its helping a bit.
I was tired, but couldn't sleep, it was weird. I would think if its point is to block the pain, its going to block it around the clock once you get it into your system. It honestly took me about 2 weeks before I felt a little better.
I'm still missing my back pain meds since I can't take them after surgery, but as I said, I know its helping a bit.
Topic: RE: 30 mg Cymbalta before bedtime?
Thank you, so you take your double dose in the morning, not at night to get you to sleep, interesting! I have broken sleep from my chronic pain and the whole idea according to my doctor is to get better sleep which is why she suggested taking it at night..I guess it really does affect people differently.
Topic: RE: 30 mg Cymbalta before bedtime?
I was told to take one dose in the morning and one in the evening, but couldn't sleep when I took it at night and only one dose in the morning didn't help at all.
My doc then suggested I take both in the more. I've been on it for several months now. It did take the edge off of my pain for a while, but I'm still suffering. I do notice its much worse if I try to go without it though, so it is helping a bit.
My doc then suggested I take both in the more. I've been on it for several months now. It did take the edge off of my pain for a while, but I'm still suffering. I do notice its much worse if I try to go without it though, so it is helping a bit.
Topic: RE: savella
Gosh that's a great question, wish I had an answer for you. I haven't taken it, I use cymbalta. Hopefully someone who has had RNY will pop on and have an answer for you. if not you can always ask your surgeon or maybe a pharmacist would know.
Topic: RE: 30 mg Cymbalta before bedtime?
Thanks for the warning re allergy! How did the allergy manifest itself?
I haven't started to take my freebie 2 week supply yet as have had work last and this week and am travelling to Europe for a longish week as of next week, and decided will start trial on Cymbalta when back home in case of unwanted reactions...Intend to drink wine and enjoy life with my friends in Europe so didn't think my trip was the right time to be on a new medication...
I haven't started to take my freebie 2 week supply yet as have had work last and this week and am travelling to Europe for a longish week as of next week, and decided will start trial on Cymbalta when back home in case of unwanted reactions...Intend to drink wine and enjoy life with my friends in Europe so didn't think my trip was the right time to be on a new medication...
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