Sex and chronic pain

How does one with chronic pain/fibro make love with their hubbies?

This is an embarasing subject matter, but I am fairly new to this painfull body stuff. I tried making love with my fiancee, but it was very uncomfortable due to my body aches and pains. (we are wondering if maybe that is how I hurt my tailbone and lower back) Any advice will be appreciated. Thanks again.

Well other than just being gentle and careful I got no advise maybe some of the younger folks will chime in. I'm blessed with a wonderful hubby who hasn't had sex in years partly for this very reason and partly because we are in our 60's and just not that interested any more.Once I hit menopause I lost all interest, in fact we even sleep in seperate rooms cause we both sleep better that way. Sex just isn't that big a deal for us but for someone young I imagine it can be very devastating.

 It's not easy dear. Sometimes it makes me sore for days. Look for easy positions, hands and kneeds. On our back is painful. Try to make notice when you are having a flare and avoid sex. Talk to your doctor cause this is also an important part of our lives. 

Without being too graphic I can share the position that has the least amount of discomfort for me.  Because my hips and lower back are where the majority of my pain is I have found that once there is penetration in the missionary position he can let me put my legs down (one at a time) so that my legs are straight and he is still on top of me.  Not only did it relieve the pressure off my back and hips, but the outer stimulation that occurred made it even more enjoyable. 

Please, please forgive me if you feel this is inappropriate.  I only want to offer help.  Being in a similar situation I understand how important intimacy is without leaving us in pain for days on end.

No. I didn't consider that inappropriate. It's hard to talk about how to have sex when everything causes pain. Thanks for the advice.

One position that works for my partner and I is spooning, him behind me. I let him know if I am having a flare (its hard not to notice since I cant even get out of bed on those days) and if Im just tender and sore and I know we are planning to have a good time later I will take Excedrin Back and Body and hydrate as much as possible, about an hour before hand. I think, from my own experience, that the pain doesn't happen much during sex as the next day. The reason I recommended hydrating is for some reason for me, it's similar to having a hangover and if I have hydrated well the day I have sex then I don't hurt quite so much as I do if we get spontaneous. My partner is in his mid-50's and isn't always wanting sex. I think on average we have sex about 4 times a month. So for me I am lucky in that I dont have to worry about pain after sex very often. We do make "dates" so that I can prep for it. Spontaneous sex is pretty rare around here.

Hope this helps!