Defeated...

 Well...  I think Im just about done.  Things have just been awful and I just cant take anymore. 

My husband has been MIA with work.  Ive not seen him much in the last month- at all.  Ive had NO break.

My daughter has been a holy terror.

My FMS has been flaring NON stop with no relief.

Ive had a migraine for 3 days now.

My sister is dying.

My VSG surgery got denied today.

I went to see a pain management Dr tonight, and he blew me off and prescribed PT 3 times a week.  Each visit costs me $35 and then I have to find child care.  I cant afford that and dont have that kind of time...

My mother is a ***** and told me to "just try to move past it all".

Im alone, lonely, in pain and tired.  I cant do this anymore....

Oh my!  I don't know what to say except that you are not alone.  That you will get thru this!  Don't give up!  You are not defeated...these are just road blocks.

PM me anytime if you need to talk in detail.  I don't go on her much, but I am 3 years post op and have been recently diagnosed with FM.

Dear avababe,

Time to move to "plan B".  I was denied VSG surgery too.  I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL.  I was super down, defeated, blah, blah, and I just figured it'll never happen.  

Guess what?  I'm now 2 months post op for VSG!!!!!  About 48 hours of giving up and I decided I WILL NOT give up.  I looked at why I was denied, studied my insurance guidelines, googled "appeal for weight loss surgery", wrote a detailed 2 page letter using advice I found on line (such as the wording "I believe you based your decision on incomplete or incorrect information" etc), added my impassioned personal story, threw a little guilt trip on them,  called about 6 times to speak to folks at the insurance company, and within 8 days, they overturned the decision.   I just want to say from personal experience if you can find the fight in you, FIGHT.  One of the main reasons I decided to appeal was a few folks on this site who suggested I not give up.  THANKS TO YOU WHO ENCOURAGED ME.

If you need help sorting out how to appeal I'd be happy to help.
Do you know why?

Anne

 They said Im not fat enough!  I need to have a BMI of 50 or more to qualify under their standards.  My BMI is 38.8.  :(

OK....pick yourself up and try again. I know your pain when it comes to fibro. We are here to help you, I a, so sorry about your sister and I'm always here to talk if you ever need me, just send a PM.

Hugs
Maria

Generally a person will qualify for wls if:
1) their BMI is above 40 or they are 100 lbs overweight or
2) they have co-morbidities, like high blood pressure, high cholestrol, diabetes, sleep apnea, acid reflux (GERD). 
Those are what would qualify you if your BMI isn't 40+.  As a general rule for anyone, being 100 lbs overweight automatically qualifies you regardless if you have co-morbidities. 
Things like arthritis, won't qualify you.  They have to be "life threatening conditions".  If you read my profile on here, my BMI was 38.9, but I had a lot of the other issues.  Don't give up.
Kristy

Rest and get ready to fight for all you deserve. I do understand where you are coming from. I have already had two total knee replacement, just found out I need a right shoulder total and surgery on the other and my neck is so bad I can't hardly move it. I said to my family truly the pain I am in and every thing is tooooooooooooooo much. But if we give up it will still hurt so we have to fight.
Keep us informed
many gentle hugs,
Pam

I understand your disappointment I too was denied (on a technicallity) for my surgery and was devastated. Try to relax and regroup, try to find a different pain clinic or doc. See if you can come up with some co morbidities because most ins. companys require a BMI of 40 with no co morbids or a BMI with several co morbids. Do you have arthritis, sleep apnea, high blood pressure, diabetes or any other medical issues. I hope you are doing better today, trust me we all have these days.

 Yes, I have co-morbids....  And my starting BMI (the one the surgeon reported to the insurance) was over 40.  Ive been on the bariatric ketogenic diet since November, and have lost over 25lbs which is why my BMI is lower now.  The insurance Co said my BMI had to be over 50, which contradicts what my benefit handbook states- so Im fighting on that alone.

I am doing a bit better today.  Just trying to reframe my thinking...  

Thank you for the support everyone.  It really helps to vent to people that get it.

Glad you're feeling better, if you're like me once I finished crying I got mad and got busy. Most ins. co. go by your original weight when you started the procedure and I've never heard of one insisting on a BMI of 50! That's just crazy. You might also check into Obesity Law.com I think they help with situations like yours, good luck and keep on pushin'!