serious questions guys help me out

Fellow fibromyalgians
Do I come across as a ***** to you? I recently was told that I come across as a ***** and then shortly after my friend told me this I answered a post on the main board and people acted like I was trying to be mean and really I wasn't. I know I am grouchy today because I am in a flare that I cannot get to ease up and on top of that I am sleepy from my pain pills so i am kinda grumpy ya know. Then on top of all that my hubby is gone so i am dealing with my two girls and my copany all on my own. So well yeah grumpy city in this house ya know.
Do I come across as being a ***** to yall? Do you ever get accused of being grumpy or being a ***** when your flaring? Do you find yourself being meaner when your flaring?
Maybe my tryleptal is not working like it should? (its the meds I take for my rage issue and my bi-polar) Is it something I should talk to my shrink about? This is kinda bothering me cause I am not a mean person and do not want to come across as such!
anyway I hope you all are having a good pain free day. here it is COLD and the cold is settling in my bones making them hurt. I had a doc appointment the other day and she raised my dosage of Opana and made the comment I NEVER wanted to hear. She said "kim your NEVER going to get any better pain wise" All I could do why cry, why did she have to tell me that! Why couldn't she just sugar coat the truth and tell me it might get better one day! I think i cried all that day and some the next. Its not like I didn't already know that but the truth of hearing it said was a bit much I think. Has any of you ever been told that?
Well guys thanks for listening to me ramble on......Stay warm

Honey we all have our days but I haven't thought you were *****y, frustrated sometimes but you've never come across as mean spirited. My advice stay away from the main board! I learned early on to avoid that and most other boards because they are so crazy and hurtful. If any of those people had to deal with what we do on any given day they would be short tempered for sure. Yes I am grouchier on flare days and actually I sometimes have long stretches of grumpies because like you I hurt, am tired cause I can't sleep and am a little dopey from my pain meds. We never WANT to hear bad news like our pain is here to stay but isn't it better to know the truth from a medical standpoint and actually it's a good thing that your doc understands that this is going to be a chronic situation so she'll be more apt to keep trying to help you with the pain. You are just fine in my book! God bless!

Hi Hislady,
I never thought about the truthful doc like that. That makes loads of sense!! Thanks!!
I just don't think I was ready or really wanting to hear that. Some part deep inside me wanted to hear it would get better.
The doc that convenced me to have WLS told me straite up that if I lost 50-100 lbs my pain would absolutly go away. I stupidly trusted her cause I have never been really skinney ya know. So I had the surgery (RNY) thinking if I lost a bunch of weight I would feel better. My pain specialist never commented about either, but she was glad when I told her that I was having WLS. So the day I went into her office she was like WOW your looking so good. I told her I did not feel as well as I look. So we got to discussing my meds and I told her basically I wanted to leave my meds alone becasue they did help some. So all she did was raise the dosage which is all I wanted. So she askedhow the spinal blocked had worked fo rme and I told her it sent me into a HUGE flare and that I did not want to try it again. So she says well Kimberly honey it really is not going to get any better. I wanted to shrivel up and die right there. I started crying I could not help it. The doc felt so bad and I kept appologizing but I could not control my tears. It was like she crused me!
You know so I asked her I said my family doc promised me she swore that if I lost 50-100 lbs the pain would go away. She SWORE!! I am now in more pain then when I started.
So yeah even though I have had this horrid disease even as a small child part of me always wanted to think I would get better. But now in the end I know it never will. So whats the point in trying? If I am just going to hurt and have all these damn problems whats the point in trying to get better?
I am slowly learning how to control my pain. I have only been diagnosed and being treated for it for 5 1\2 yrs now. I have always had the pain but did not always have health insurance ya know. But now that I have help I am learning to control it I think. BUT then we moved to the east coast and well hurricane season kicks my arse....LOL.....
I know I probably sound like a little whiney ***** 90% of the time......LOL.....but thats just cause I AM ONE...HEHE
I hope you are having a good and pain free day...I read one of your post the other day saying you was flaring. Has your flare broke yet? What all do you do to help you tolerate your flares? Do you find that heat helps? I have found that stretching helps alot too......I LOVE yoga

Thanks for asking, my flare seems to be settling down. It's been a rough month, Christmas sucked because we were snowed in and my dear granddaughter and her little one were supposed to come but couldn't get out either. So I was snowed in for 2 whole weeks! I didn't really have anywhere to go it was just the fact that I COULD'NT go if I wanted to. Then we finally had all our Christmas events a week late and just as we finished those up my mom passed away and I think that just drove me over the edge as far as stress goes so I was flaring and feeling like I got hit by a semi. My DH has been wonderful and just keeps telling me to take it easy and if I don't feel like doing anything then don't! Fortunately the only little feet around here belong to fur baby critters and not kids so I can just relax or stay in bed if I want. I've been doing just that totally relaxing and it's done wonders for the pain. Yes heat is my friend too sometimes I'll just turn my electric blanket up to toast and climb in and relax.
You know as much as we hurt and are in horrendous pain sometimes or even all the time, I still love my life, I'm so blessed. I think the fibro and all my other health issues help me to see all the wonderful things in my life like my wonderful hubby and granddaughter who just tonite bought me a beautiful bracelet just because she knew I would love it and she's out of work and should use the money for herself but she wanted to get that for me. I also have some of the most wonderful friends who are all there for me and prayed over me when my mom passed. Even tho I sometimes feel so miserable that I don't know if I can take another day I still know that I am so much more fortunate than some folks are. So I get up again knowing I'll be in pain and just try to find a blessing or two to keep me going. I hope you find them too.

Oh sweety I am so so sorry to hear about your mom! That is tough to get through with or without fibro! I will keep you in my prayers hoping your get through this tough time.
My own mom passed away in 2005. We was not close, she lived in the nursing home down the rd from my house though. I brought her in from her husband whom was not taking care of her but then she fell and broke her hip in the middle of the night. I had to put her in the home after that. She died shortly after...................
My aunt lives up in WA and was snowed in for a week and some change too. She hated it!! LOL
My blessings are my children. They understand when I hurt to leave me alone and the oldest one is old enough to help out with the little one for on the days I hurt real bad.
Well I better hush. Thanks for taking the time to respond. Stay strong!
Kimberly

No , I don't think you come across bad at all. I stay away from most other boards too except here and the Vertical Sleeve board. People and their rude comments. Ignore them. If they even walked a day in you're life they would understand. But the truth is, if I didn't have this I probably would not understand either. I'm not sure how I would feel if my Dr told me that, on any given day I might just burst into tears, or might just give her a blank stare. I just want the pain in my knee's to be a little less. I know fibro is here to stay but just to know I can be healthier and smaller and able to breath better....I'm telling you I can't wait. I will keep you in my prayers because I know its not easy.

Hang in there!!!


-Monica

Some of the folks on the mainboard disagrees.....LOL.....One made fun of my spelling so I let her know how I felt about lowlifes that make fun of people. She ended up calling me vicious and blocked me.....HA
Thank you so much for the nice words your wrote.
I have not found relief in WLS. I found more pain thats for sure! I hurt more now than I did before but thats ok, I will keep trying to find that one special thing that will make it all go away. I think I might just start smoking weed.....LOL.....NOT but its a good thought....HAHA

I have been told the same thing. ... or just get ignored.

there is some mean ones over there thats for sure!!

You know when I was thinking of having the surgery "they" all said oh you will feel so much better you won't need your arthritis meds and fibro will be better. Well don't get me wrong I am glad I had my surgery but i don't "feel" better pain wise. Now can't take arthritis meds.
The cold Hurts me too no one understands but us fibro sisters...
We all have our bad days I never thought you sounded b-----, don't worry about it 0)