she might be tall and blond and thin, but she is not beautiful if she could shut out a friend and hurt her feelings because of size. You don't have to be a part of anything that will leave you feeling bad about yourself. Life has a way of evening things up. Just wait and see what she looks like in a few years. Keep smiling Sharon

Hi Jilly! I'm new to this board,just had surgery Thursday. First of all congratulations on your weight loss! I think the most important thing here is your success and you and your husband need to focus on that. If he is so concerned about you having the odd sweet, he should keep it out of the house entirerly. If he needs a sugar fix he should have it at work. I also think you could suggest this to him and also suggest a splurge date that you can do together. A planned Ice cream ect. I think alot of men are a little insecure about their wives losing weight for fear that they will be left behind. I have been married for 23 years and my husband gave me such grief over the years that I became a closet eater and an emotional eater and my weight went up up up! I was ultimately responsible for my weight gain but for years I focused on his responsibility regarding my weight gain. We have both finally accepted responsibility in the roles we played and I am looking forward to a much happier future. I hope you find some help and ideas on this board so that you can continue on your journey feeling supported. Sue

I just became a member of OH and I came across your posting. I know its been a while since you posted but I thought I'd respond anyway... I noticed that many of the people *****sponded to you said that their husbands said something like "you're going to leave me after you have surgery". How sad it is that those men think the only reason their wives are with them is because they are overweight and if their wife was to lose weight she would leave him and find someone she "really" wants to be with. What poor self esteem those husbands must have. No wonder they try to sabotage their wives weight loss. Maybe if we reassure our husbands that we are not going to leave them after we lose weight they may be more supportive. Who knows, maybe I'm way off track. All I know is my husband said the very same words to me on more than one occasion and one day I finally sat him down and told him I married him because I love him and I will not leave him when I lose weight. If I was going to leave him it would be because he's being a jerk. Then I gave him a and he's come around. He's now a really supportive guy and interested and even helpful. I do know he has his stash of junk food but he is kind enough to hide it in his shop so I don't have to be tormented by it staring me in the face. So lets see if we can cut our husbands some slack. Its hard on them too. Becky Stark Lake Havasu, AZ

I know you are hurt, but people should be able to choose who is in their weddings without an explanation. It is her wedding and though size may seem to be a reason, I would think you would have seen a lot more evidence of how she felt way before her wedding and most likely wouldn't have been her friend from the attitude. You are not shut out of the wedding unless you choose to be.