Hey you can add me to the spouse not being supportive group if you wish. My X refused to allow me to have the surgery even though strongly encouraged by the doctor years ago. I'm having it now that I left the creep anyway. The problem is that I am having to deal with three YOUNG children at the same time and it's difficult. But I do know the feeling and am here to chat at if you need me! Hugs! Rachel

Hello......A Lil you are not alone My hub will do anything and everything to sabatoge my weight-loss. I just truly believe that in his pathetic mind that he thinks I will not leave him at this weight............. Oh How he is Truly Mistaken! I have decided to get a divorce, the amount of stress that he gives can not help me in anyway with my trying to get ME healthy: physically/mentally and spiritually. I would love to chat w/ someone in my shoes, bad marriages,weightlosing,and life can sometimes get very lonely. If you would like an email address so we could offer each other support I'd be glad to xchange info: ) Goodluck in all your life choices, Tallulah

I posted this on the main board and thought I'd try here too: Just copied this from a post about a nonsupportive spouse and was wondering what people's experiences are with their spouses.? I have been seriously contemplating divorce the past 3-4 weeks and feel like a total failure. This would be my second failed marraige. It is a scary thing to think of living alone the rest of my life, but then again it feels like it would be a relief. I am just looking for a little insight. Thanks in advance. "When I went to the seminar given by my surgeon he gave a warning, he said if you are happily married now this will only make your relationship stronger, if you are not happily married it will probably destroy it. I have seen it happen to so many women."

Piper, I wish you well as you take your first step in your journey. I know that you have choosen the right path to take, to be happier and healthy. It is now up to you to make the fianally journey. We are all here for you either those who have gone down that road or going to go down that road. Support from everyone is much needed. I know that you are scared and anxious but don't worry all will go well. I am looking forward to hearing from you on the other side. I am due to have mine on the the 16th of feb. I wish you speed in your recovery and my prayers are with you and may god bless you on your new journey. Melody Jacobson

I have not had my surgery yet but I think about this often. I am a very outgoing 282 lb female who loves her husband so very much. I make sure that I show him ALL the time... I do not do this for him but for me. I feel so good giving him affection. Usually guys are not as good at showing affection as woman... but it doesn't mean they love us any less. They usually show love by working hard providing for the family. I once felt that my husband was not showing me the love like I thought he should so I prayed that we would have more time to spend together. He was busy at work, church and had been taking an EMT course for work 2 nights a week at that time... I just was not feeling the warm fuzzies. Anyway, I prayed and prayed for more time with him. Well, guess what? We got more time together... he broke his leg going out to the garage on Christmas morning getting our daughter's bike from santa. I was busy making coffee for him and did not hear him hollering. He crawled from our garage all the way to our front door in 6 inches of snow. We spent 3 days in the hospital and 3 months he was off from work. Well, we got more time together and he was totally dependent upon my care for 3 weeks... sucked for him but was total heaven for me! Stay with me... I do have a point... Point I am making is if your hubby is anything like mine he probably thinks he is protecting you/helping you out. I am sure he is not doing anything purposely to hurt your feelings. I think his God-given man instincts are kicking in to protect his wife/family. He loves you honey! Be glad and savor it... not every girl can say that about their man! Show him how much you truly love him too!