Marie: I think Lori B is right on. It's not about you being in her wedding even though you feel you should be. It's about celebrating with "your friend" on HER day. I dont think you should confront her about this and I definately think you should attend the wedding. If you don't, I think you'll end up regretting it. Just my two cents...Good luck to you.

Michelle, Hi I had my surgery on June 14th. It was 4-6 weeks before I felt completely like myself again. Everyone is different, but please know that you may need help at first when you arrive home. Also, it is a great idea if someone can be with you in the hospital. Maybe a friend, if your husband can't be there. It would be worth it even if someone has to come from out of state for a couple of weeks to be of help to you. You may do fantastic and not need it, but I would have not wanted to go through this without my daughter and/or husbands help. Hopefully, everything will go wonderful for you, but I would plan on not being alone if possible during the initial phase of this hospital and post op time. It involves both the physical and emotional part of adjusting to this major change that your body goes through. Sincerely, LMW P.S. I pray that your husband will be able to be with you.

Hi Julie, I am kind of going thru something similar.... I lied to my best friend about the surgery. I live in Chicago and she lives in San Francisco. I told her that I was having gallblatter surgery. I had brought up the topic with her a few times here and there... her response was I don't know why people do that why don't they just exercise and eat healthy? As someone who is not obese she just doesn't understand. I just didn't know how to tell her that I was going to have the surgery. And I didn't want her to not support me. In the 1/1000 chance that she didn't. I have had gallblatter problems in the past and I figured that it was the easiest way to not tell her about the RNY but that I was having surgery. Needless to say I told her today that I had lied and such when she kept insisting that she was going to come out to support me thru the surgery (the faux gallblatter one). So hear I am hoping that my best friend will forgive me someday. As for your friend, there may be a couple of things going on... she could be jelous that you had the surgery and she hasn't.... Also if your relationship before was based a lot arround food, she may miss the change in your relationship. If you can, try doing other things not center arround food, try shopping, exercising etc. make sure that she know you still want to be friends with her, that you are the same person before surgery as your are after. I hope that helps! Bridget

I was in an on again off again relationship (we were engaged) for four years. He was so against this surgery, and I was soooo going to have it anyway, that it played a big role in our final demise. He's been trying to call me again recently, and I'm having none of it. I'm focusing on me now...doing the things I've always wanted to do. He had his chance to support me in my decision, and instead, he chose to whine about how he was worried about losing me (either to the surgery, or to my inevitable weight loss and another guy). His chance is over, and now it's my time!

Marie: It hurts when your not asked... even if you would have graciously bowed out. I unfortunately did that when I got married many moons ago. I was a size 7 ...hah not no more. But the bridemaids were pretty much in the same size range ... and I did have a relative who was much heavier.. but I knew the dress which were ****tail, strapless dresses would look and make her feel ugly because of being next to others much smaller. I never explained my choices, but did feel quite guilty that she was left out ... but she was always part of the festivities. Try to be there for her. I cant say what I did wasnt terrible now in retropect... but I was much younger and less mature. Wish her well and hope for her to learn and grow from her choices. I did. Hugs and more hugs.