Leaving my daughter for surgery

I have a 16 month old, and I'm worried about leaving her while I'm in the hospital. It will be my first night away from her. Has anyone been in a similar situation?

In the long run Amy it will help her...she will not be happy while you are gone but know it will be good!!!

Amy, My husband had surgery 11/22/05 and I my parents kept our 2yo DD for a week. They are both retired, live 3 hours from us, and were thrilled to help out. I just didn't want her to be around all of the "grownup" stuff. We told DD that she was going to go visit Grandmama and Granddaddy and get to play with them and have a lot of fun. She had a blast! As a matter of fact, she was very ANGRY for several days after she came back home! We haven't said the word "surgery" to her or even told her what happened. When I would check out DH's incision or have to doctor on it (he had a tiny problem with a couple of places getting infected), we would talk about how Daddy had a scrape on his tummy and that it is getting better. A week or so ago she actually asked, "What happened to Daddy? Why is that on his tummy?" I just told her that Daddy went to the doctor and he helped make Daddy's tummy better. I know this isn't really the same type of thing but maybe if you make it a game/fun thing for her for a few days it will help. She doesn't need to know the cold hard facts at her age. It will definitely be harder on Mama than on Baby!

Amy, I have 4 daughters. Although they are older than yours (ages 5 to 12) I am worried about leaving them and something happening that I don't come back to them. I think that's my biggest fear associated with having the surgery. Yet, they are the biggest reason for me to have the surgery in the first place. My surgery is scheduled for March 27. The fear is really starting to set in now! Carol

Carol, I look back on how silly I was before the surgery and laugh. My daughter did amazingly well, even though I had to stay 3 nights instead of 2. She didn't sleep real well, but the night I got home she slept 12 hours straight. It's good your kids are older, and for the most part will understand you're going away for a short time, and will return. The surgery is the easy part of the whole process. The new lifestyle is the hard part. I would focus on getting ready for that. While still getting in all your favorite foods, try and start eating healthier. Maybe you are already, but most people don't unless they have to. Find a therapist that will work with you now and post-op. If that's not possible, then find someone who has been through it so on those rough days you have an outlet. I can hardly eat anything and my surgery was Jan. 20. I know that's the point, but I can eat even less than I should and I can't handle protein shakes. So, that's why I say the surgery is the easy part. I'm not trying to scare you, just help you focus on what will really be the hard part. If you'd like to email me feel free, and I could give you my phone number if you'd like to talk. Your kids will be fine, and trust me they'll appreciate it in the long run. Amy

Hello, I was in a similar situation, I have a 3yr old DD and a 20 month old DS...First and foremost I made arrangements for them to spend the time with a family member whom they really took to, and have fun with. It happened to be an Aunt from VA. I paid for her to travel to Ma. and back....it was worth every penny!!! I knew I could only go under general anesthesia if the kids were in the best of hands. My parents were willing to do it, but due to health reasons, neither are able to really "play" with the kids...so the kids don't have much fun, and I was afraid that if they weren't having fun, they would think about me and miss me more... I was also terrified that something would happen to me...god forbid!!! Then, when I really thought about it, I realized that if I didn't leave them for 2 or 3 days now.....I would be leaving them forever ...probably within the next 10 yrs....and they need me to be around a lot longer......Believe me, I know it is hard....I am a stay at home Mom and also never leave them........I told my DD who is a little older than your DD that Mommy was having an operation so she would be able to go and run around outside with her, and go down a slide.....This actually made her happy.....I was sure she understood I wouldn't be gone long....two weeks prior, I made a count down calendar and she saw that there were 14 days until the surgery and only 2 or 3 days before Mommy came home!!! She put stickers everyday and was really OK with Mommy going and coming back soon. I realize your DD is younger, but I think every option you have to help her will also help you!!!! Last but not least, and it is NO consellation ?sp she will not remember this when she is older, but she will appreciate having a HAPPY HEALTHY Mommy!!!! Best of Luck, and feel free to contact me anytime!!!!! Lori PS: I made sure both kids had new activities to do each day to keep them occupied....a new toy, Playdoh, coloring book and New Crayons...they love them!!! I even left a few special treats to eat!!!