Losing friends due to surgery?

Is there anyone who had a really close friend who became very distant after surgery? My friend has started making all kinds of comments about people she's observed post-op who sit around and moan about how full they are after taking like 3 bites of food, and how mad it makes her feel as an obese person. She's made fun of our support group's potlucks, asking what the heck a bunch of bariatric surgery patients were going to eat or bring to a potluck. She seems supportive of me in general, and has helped me a great deal, but I get the feeling that she's really missing her eating buddy.

Hi Julie, I am kind of going thru something similar.... I lied to my best friend about the surgery. I live in Chicago and she lives in San Francisco. I told her that I was having gallblatter surgery. I had brought up the topic with her a few times here and there... her response was I don't know why people do that why don't they just exercise and eat healthy? As someone who is not obese she just doesn't understand. I just didn't know how to tell her that I was going to have the surgery. And I didn't want her to not support me. In the 1/1000 chance that she didn't. I have had gallblatter problems in the past and I figured that it was the easiest way to not tell her about the RNY but that I was having surgery. Needless to say I told her today that I had lied and such when she kept insisting that she was going to come out to support me thru the surgery (the faux gallblatter one). So hear I am hoping that my best friend will forgive me someday. As for your friend, there may be a couple of things going on... she could be jelous that you had the surgery and she hasn't.... Also if your relationship before was based a lot arround food, she may miss the change in your relationship. If you can, try doing other things not center arround food, try shopping, exercising etc. make sure that she know you still want to be friends with her, that you are the same person before surgery as your are after. I hope that helps! Bridget

My best friend started growing distance between us after she had WLS in Jan '04. It's like I was her eating buddy or whatever, but since she had WLS last year our friendship has pretty much been one-way (me initiating). I had my WLS this year and she's kept in touch every now and then to check on me and stuff, but we are no longer best friends. I loved her and she was like a sister to me, but I guess this operation really shows you who your real friends are. Trisha Phoenix ObesityHelp Chapter Leader

If they're true friends, they will be with you through it all. Maybe it's not the WLS surgery that's changed them...but actually the other way around, which is a good thing. You don't want people that have dependency issues around you when you finally become the person that was always trapped in this obese body. I have friends that knew me when I lost alot of weight on phen-fen (over 80 pounds) and I was super skinny then. When I started gaining weight and eventually got to where I am today, they were still here. Nothing has changed. Like I said, if you have true, honest friends they will be there no matter what. And if they're not, they were never "true" friends to begin with.