Only told one family member...

Hello. I'm 9 days post-op and doing great so far. I don't feel like I even had the surgery now except for the new way of eating and drinking. I'm on stage 2 puree. I chose to only tell one member of my family and no one else. Everyone else just thinks I had a gall bladder removal. I am single with no children and have a job position where I work alone in an office in a position of authority. I am a government employee so human resources is confidential and 2 hours away in another city. Has anyone else done this? I consider it to be my b usiness and didn't want to hear the detractors comments or jokes or be the subject of gossip. Now what do I say when they comment on the weight loss? I don't want to lie about it but it is none of their business. Thanks. Vicki

Vicki, I know that you posted this awhile back, but I just now stumbled upon your post. I only told my husband and my sister about my surgery. They kept it a secret for a year during my pre-op phase. I finally HAD to tell my mom because I work for the family business and I needed the time off. Within the next 24 hours she told everyone that she knew!!!!! Of course, this was after I specifically asked her not to. I was so angry that I didn't speak to her for several days and asked her not to come to the hospital with me. This was very out of character for our close relationship. 5 months later, I'm still mad as hell about it. My point is that once the cat is out of the bag, everyone will know. If you value your privacy about tis issue (as I did) keep it very close to the vest!!! Noone NEEDS to know but you. Good luck to you, C Leigh

First of all, don't feel guilty if you choose not to tell anyone, it's really noone's business. Secondly, when people comment on your weight loss, just say thank you. If they ask how you are doing it - you know the nature of your relationship with that person . . . you probably have a good idea what reaction you will get. But remember, you always have the option of just talking about your diet and exercise (it's not like the surgery is doing all the work and takes no effort on our part), limit the conversation to what YOU are doing to lose the weight. If, by chance, it is an obese person whom you feel will be receptive to discussion about surgery, then sure, tell them and leave them with the invitation to ask if they are further interested in it. Nuf said, JoAnn

I know how you feel. I don't want to tell everyone. I have told those that I know will be hurt if I don't let them know that I am in the hospital, that I am having stomach trouble ( I am it is not working right) so they are going in to see what is wrong and fix it. The Dr. is going to fix it. I am just using a different words and trying to tell them that I am Ok.. My mom is having the surger and has planned to tell everyone that she is having her gallbladder out. Hope everything is going good for you.

I did the same thing. I chose to tell only 2 people in my entire (huge) family- my husband and my favorite sister. I knew they'd be extremely supportive and keep their mouths shut. (I'm a very private person). I know the rest of my family cares about me, but I also know that they are not the most supportive group of people and it'd only be a matter of time before the negative comments and sabotage would start. When people commented on my weight loss, I'd smile and thank them. For the few who were more persistent and wanted 'details' on my weight loss plan, I told the truth- to a point. I changed a lot of my habits, starting with eating less and exercising a lot more! That usually ended that line of inquiry. I chose to eliminate as much negativity surrounding my decision to have this surgery as possible and its worked very well for me. I'll be 4yrs post op this fall, and I have not regretted my decision to keep my surgery private. When