My post-op friend is out of control

Allow me to preface this with the following: I am a size 10-12 myself that stands 5'7". I'm not tiny but I understand being overweight and the struggle it has on every single aspect of your life. My dear friend had surgery this summer and it has gone to her head more than I could have ever imagined. Everytime she opens her mouth, it's to tell me how many guys checked her out or how much weight she's lost. It's gotten to the point where I don't answer the phone anymore because I'm sick of it. Are there any other friends or family members of suddenly skinny people who are ready to strangle them because now that their bodies are shrinking, their heads are expanding? Please let me know!

Hi Kate, I have to tell you, this was my biggest fear about having this surgery. I have had 2 friends who had wls before I was in the process and they both became a bit annoying with their newfound confidence. I was so afraid that this would happen to me and that my friends would dislike me because of it. Have you broached the subject with your friend? It can be frustrating and I truely understand that. If she really was/is a dear friend, then try to be patient. This could be the first time in her life that guys actually have checked her out. I missed out on a lot of my life becasue of my obesity, I never have been asked out on a date, I went to the prom with a gay friend, I have only had one boyfriend and he was just using me... he didn't really like me, and many other things. Perhaps this is all overwhelming to her and if you give her some time she will settle down and the novelty of men checking her out will wear off. Just try to imagine what it must be like to have attention finally after starving for it for years. Usually after a year or so things start to catch up and normal life resumes. I wish you good luck. Amber

Hi Amber, Thanks for the reply and much needed advice. My dear friend has never had a problem getting men at all, even before WLS. She had a million boyfriends, booty calls, random bar hook-ups, etc. before her surgery. Now when she calls me, she doesn't just say "so I met Nick at the bar." She says "and then I took my coat off and Nick couldn't take his eyes off of me because he said I looked so damn good." I understand that she is thin for the first time in her life and it's overwhelming for her. I get excited when I lose ten pounds. I cannot imagine losing 100 pounds (Although I have shed 40lbs on Weigh****chers in the past year) and being the same person. Change is eventual. I understand that. I expect that. She is also one of those females that thrives on male attention. I suggested her going into therapy (she's gone for the past few years for other reasons) and she agreed that it was a great idea but she seems to be making excuses as to why she's not back in therapy. She's a new person. I understand that. I am the one who held her hand (literally) during her surgery and I was her biggest supporter. Any new thoughts with the background I gave you?

SHe is just loving her new found body. Give her time. She will get over it. Support her and love her. If she gets too annoying- tell her. She needs to validate how others see her. It is ok. She is still your friend. Probably not out of control. Probably just excited and fascinated by her new life.

Here is my take on this,all our lives we had to be the class clown and make the jokes about ourselves before some else did and now after we have lost all this weight our heads to get bigger and so what?It is our turn and the roads we have traveled to get where we are today was not an easy one.No one knows how hard it is being fat unless you grew up fat.Sure we had friends but it was not easy keeping up with them and sometimes we made fun of ourselves jsut to fit it.I am tired of being the life of the party and today after loosing over 300 lbs my head is three times bigger than it was when I was fat............steve c