People can be very unsupportive

I know that I shouldn't care what people think about my having WLS (I had it on Feb. 26 2004), but already certain people are treating me "differently". This one person I work with, she called me today. On the surface, it appeared that she was calling to find out how I am, but I can feel a difinite "angry undercurrent" coming from her. I think she feels threatened by my having the surgery, which I think is completely stupid. I have found 2 distinct reactions to my WLS---either people are very supportive, or they are critical and very unsupportive. To be honest, I haven't met very many supportive people. But, my husband has been great, and I know I've made the right decision. But it just bothers me that people can be jerks; and it almost seems like they would be thrilled if you would fail in some way. That really hurts me; in fact I was crying about it today. Maybe I'm just "post-op" sensitive, I don't know. But I needed to blow off some steam. Thanks for listening.

Hi Rose, I'm still pre-op but getting same reaction from a few. Know what? I don't care I know it bothers you & I would be lying if I didn't say the same. Find yourself a Support Group in your area. I guess I look at it this way, we have a disease & we have had to seek help & we got it. This disease is just like any disease. Think of it this way, the alcholoic (sp), their "friends" disappear cuz they aren't drinking any more they get help for their disease. Or someone that has cancer, ppl will run the other direction or try to avoid, it's like they are afraid to "catch" the cancer. To me WLS is the same way. Ppl don't know how to treat us, are they going to "catch" the fat? wish some of those skinnies could Ignore the way the negatives are, they can't help it they're insecure. Support groups are wonderful, they've been there & done it & they can probably give you a few pointers on how to deal with these ppl. Good Luck Carolyn

Hi, My name is Jan (JB), I am 42, single in NY and am pre-op (4/14 surgery date). I hate when people are sad and I hope you start feeling better soon. I am so sorry that you are feeling badly about these pathetic people that don't want to share and support your road to recovery of your health and don't want you to be happier. Screw them! You are blessed to have a supportive spouse and I am guessing it was no easy decision to have the surgery so try to tap into that good energy. As we know, ultimately all the good and bad comes from us. On the other hand, I am a hypocrite because I haven't told my parents yet (am meeting them for dinner tonight to tell them). Feel better, JB

Rose, A couple people I work with have had Gastric Bypass Surgery. Yes, there are many different feelings reguarding this surgery. I am in the process of hoping to get mine approved and getting my husbands support on this. Peolpe at work I feel are jealous. I work at a hospital were several of the nurses I work with are obese &/or overweight, they have a lot of comments. Like, "I can't imagine going to that extreme." " Do you see how they have to eat" "I know someone is going to die from all this surgery" Yes, people are gruell (sp?) but I am doing this for me. I don't want to die young and fat, I want to see my children grow up and have families. Of coarse the one lady I work with had her surgery the middle of november and has lost over 100 pounds already. Is there any diet out there you could do that and stick with? Not Me!!!! If it is possible try going to a support group, we are working on one now because we have to drive 5-6 hours to the hospital that does ours and we do not have a support group yet. People can be very mean-- but think how wonderfull you are going to feel when that weight starts coming off and you are eating healthy for your future. Best Wishes, Connie

I can DEFINETLY understand what you are feeling. I'm am pre-op and have been selective about the people I have told. I've even found some doctors who have a prejudice against the surgery! A lot of people have made comments such as "WOW! You're not going to be able to ever eat a hamburger again! So, why are you taking the easy way out?" True, they judge me. But they judge me now, too. And, if something isn't done about, I won't be alive for ANYONE to judge me! They don't know your story. They don't know how you got where you were and where you are now. You don't have to accept their ignorance...you can forgive it and move on about your life knowing that you stepped up as an advocate for your own life, announced to the world that you deserve to be alive, to be happy and to be healthy. Hope that helps. Amber