I need to help my morbidly obese mom before it's too late!

 My mother is 61 years old and she is morbidly obese. She is severely depressed and hasn't left the house since April 12, 2011,  when she retired. Since then she spends her days in her room watching TV, surfing the internet, sleeping, and eating. She has a difficult time just walking about 20 ft from her bed to the bathroom and has to use two canes to do so. I have no idea how much she weighs and I don't think she does either but, it has to be in excess of 300-350 pounds. (She is 5'8" tall.) She sleeps quite often  in fact sometimes she falls asleep mid-sentence or while talking to me on the phone. She has a very weak bladder as a result of her excess weight and has to use the restroom more often than normal. Her legs are infected with either shingles or stasis dermatitis. I am not sure because she refuses to go to the doctor. My mother does not have health insurance and cannot afford to go to the doctor. She is a veteran but refuses to call and see whether or not she is eligible for benefits. At this point I doubt anyone would approve her for insurance because of her condition. My mother has missed out on family get togethers, funerals, and just spending time with loved ones. I am scared that she will not be able to go to my wedding this December. I want more than anything to help her get healthy but I feel helpless because anytime I discuss the situation with her she gets angry and either tells me it is none of my business or for me to leave her alone. She lives with my father who is also a 60 year old veteran. He works over time to help provide for the two of them. I am worried because he has high blood pressure and diabetes and he has so much stress in his life. He also has a disability from the military and if she fell or needed help he would not be able to help her very much. He loves my mother so much that he will do anything to make her "happy" when in reality he is just enabling her habits. If something doesn't happen soon I know my mom will die. Lastly, I live in Portland, OR and my mother lives in Phoenix, AZ therefore I feel like I cannot help her situation at all. I can only visit 2 maybe 3 times per year because I cannot afford anymore than that. I am not ready for my mom to die, so I am trying everything in my power short of kidnapping her and forcing her into treatment in order to help her get better. I would appreciate if you could please point me in the direction of resources that might be of assistance to me. Thank you so much for your time and consideration. 

I am sorry that I do not have suggestions except that you should  consider posting your question on the Main forum board that get much more traffic than this one. There are a lot of knowledgeable people on OH--I'm just not one of them.

I feel for you and wish you the best with your mother.
k

I've been attending a weight wise clinic in Edmonton for the past 9 months. My GP sent me there to do weight wise modules, 9 in all, it took a few months because I live in fort mcmurray and have to travel there and its expensive. After the training my name went on a list to see a team of Drs. to assess my health and weight. I waited 2 years,I had mostly forgotten about, and quite surprised when they called to book an appointment. At first I was asigned a nurse went to Edmonton to see a nurse, cost 3-400$ just to drive down,stay over night and come back. Next trip was to see nurse(kathy) sherry(dietition)Dr Sharma(specialist in weight loss surgery).Cost more cause I had to stay 2 nights. First app. was june 2011, august 2011, october 2011 and just last week feb 23-24. Throughout these appointment I was nurse,dietition,dr. sharma.dr. Bonder(phyic) and psycologist. I got a call on the following monday to come see Dr. Sharma and Dr.Karmilia on april 11-12. I think they are going to schedule surgery,this is want the app.is about and they will decide if im ready.so all together it took 4 years so far and I might get in done in the next couple of months,I'm sooooo excited.

I'm in canada  but there are weight wise clinic in the us. If you can get a Dr. to do a house visit it might help. Also if your parents are veterans,they must qualify.search it up  or call veteran affairs.you can also call a psychaitist for help and advice.

Hi rattatkat. I am currently in the same situation. My mom is 60. She lives with me. She is about 350lbs. She uses a walker and has so many ailments. All of her family has passed. They all had heart attacks in their early 50s. She is so lucky to be her age. I feel like she is going to pass soon. Has your mom gotten help?