My Fat Spouse...

Hey, this is my first post in this forum, my name is Geoffrey, but you can call me Jeff. In case you are wondering, I'm the fat spouse, hence why I joined this website. I am interested in losing weight to make my wife happy, and myself healthy. But... I'm just really not happy with the choices before me.

Ever since I found this blog, I have felt a little resentful towards my wife. She had already talked to me about my weight, but I procrastinated, and I just didn't really do anything. I think, for about two weeks, I ate a salad for lunch and dinner, and skipped breakfast, drank nothing bu****er, and only dropped about 8-10lbs. I'm 350, so that wasn't much to me. I got discouraged and continued my binging behaviour. But, recently I got the motivation to start anew, and then I find this in the history of my computer!

http://www.matildatuesday.blogspot.com/

I'm appalled by what I find is probably the same thing my wife thinks of me. That I'm a glutton, a 'Fatling'. I'm really hurt. I'm not sure if any of these people posting is my wife, but I think she might just be a lurker. After all, these jerks certainly express her feelings well enough I would think.

In short, I'm feeling unmotivated again. I'm scared of WLS, but I don't have the will to stick to an eating plan or exercise. I want my wife and my family to be happy, but I just feel overwhelmed. And it doesn't help to know this is what they think of their 'gluttonous Fatling' husband and father.
 
If I don't have the support of my own family, how can I ever get the will to lose weight. I don't feel worthy of a thin, healthy body in many ways, and I don't feel any more worthy after viewing a blog that lashes out at what I supposedly really am.

LET'S DO THIS........We can lose weight and support each others effort.I am at the point of losing for myself (and my gradaughter).Finding support  to me is the hardest part of the journey.I will there if you want to send a messege about weight loss or about life.

Hi Jeff!!!

Unfortuantely I am very lucky that my husband is supportive of my WLS, but he is never overtly critical of my weight.  We started dating over 8 years ago and I was probably about 120 pounds.  Between health issues, breaking my spine, pregnancies, and lots and lots of food.... I now weight about 275.  I am so fortunate that he still loves me for me and not the person I see in the mirror....

Have you talked to your wife about how you feel?  Personal question, what is her weight?  My husband is a toothpick... ugh! 

I always though WLS was for people who have always been heavy, and just in the past few months I have been doing some searching.  The seminars are super informative, you can meet the doctor and staff, they expain the various surgeries, the pro's and con's and answer your questions.  I would seriously consider attending WITH your spouse.  My husand went with (the smallest in the room by over 100 pounds for sure)... he listened and when we talked he gave me his opinion of what was talked about.  He said some of the surgeries he was uncomfortable with, and we together made the decision to gt RNY gastric bypass.  He also left the seminar telling me I was beautiful, because I was not the biggest or most unhealthy at the seminar.  

Taking your wife may open her eyes that #1, you are NOT huge... #2 she may better understand the risks... it is not surgery to "make you skinny", it is a whole new way of life.  If it is something SHE is commited to, and she will change her diet and habits too, then go for it... but it is a team effort!

Honestly, I cannot wait to change my life, thank god for my husband's support, because my parent's are NOT suppportive... these boards have really made me feel better, and I am going to a support group mtg this week, I can't wait to be able to talk to ppl who understand me!

Sorry so long!