Please help my mother...

Hello All, I am seeking help/support for my mother. She is 59 years old, 6 foot tall and I am unaware of her weight. 400 lbs.? The reason I am writing this is because after years of medical issues, my sister and I have decided to hold an intervention to provide support and immediate treatment options to her. If she refuses, we are prepared to cut ties with her. This may sound very insensitive and ungrateful, but we cannot continue on enabling her illnesses. I feel as we need to treat her illness/issues as an addiction. Maybe this is incorrect, please feel free to set me straight. I love my mother dearly and want her around for many, many more years.   A little background: ·         Grew up with the mindset of “always finishing your plate, no wasting food" – this led to overeating ·         Home life was very negative and pessimistic, eating was an escape ·         Her mother and two sisters are both overweight and have diabetes ·         Has severe knee issues, needs surgery ·         Has broken her Achilles tendon ·         Is on several anti-depression medications and pain medications ·         She now has kidney failure and will eventually have to go on dialysis   Basically, my mother’s quality of life is horrible. I no longer see the woman I once respected and adored. I know she is still in there though. Please reply with any information you think would be helpful. Treatment centers, dieticians, etc.
   Thank you so much, please feel free to ask any additional questions.

Where are you located? There is support all around and I would be happy to assist you in finding this for your mother. Has she ever considered weight loss surgery? She would more than likely have to lose weight before having it but you can search this site for some amazing testimony to bariatric/ weght loss surgery. Let me know that info and I will get back with you as quickly as possible. :)

P.S. maybe you should see if she would like to join OH.

Thank you for your reply!

We are located in southern Wisconsin.  She has considered weight loss surgery, but at this point it isn't an option because they don't think her body could handle the surgery.  That is another reason to lose the weight, so she can receive her kidney transplant.  I almost feel as though she needs a strict diet with the help of a dietician.

She is still very stubborn and doesn't always like to admit her faults, OH might be an option for her a littler more down the road.

I wish I could help you...and your mother!  Recently joined this because my own mother is finally addressing her weight issues by having surgery.  My sister and I tried for YEARS to help her, going on walks with her, encouraging her to adopt healthier habits, sharing with her what we were learning about fitness and weight loss...to no avail. She had/has her own demons to battle and doesn't appreciate our input, sees it as badgering her or lecturing, when it is really just coming from the same place yours is...we love her and want her around for a long time.  She is now 66 years old, not nearly as tall as your mom, and probably also around 400 lbs.  We never tried the intervention/ultimatim route, so I can't really advise you, unfortunately.  Just writing to say I can identify with you and wish you lots of luck on this!!!!

Thank you for your response as well. I am sorry for what you are going through as well. It is so hard to feel as though you have already lost an important family member. I just know that my negative thoughts and anger will never help my mother and I believe I am finally growing up enough to realize this. I don’t want her to die without knowing how much I actually love her. Lately, I do not treat her so nicely. Making comments about food, exercising, etc. is hard to not do when I’m around her. It is so frustrating and I do not understand what I am suppose to gain out of this life experience…I feel really hopeless right now.   Sadly, it relieves me to know that I’m not the only one. Because I would never wish this on to anyone. Thank you for your encouragement and I hope your mother sees how much you love her as well.