Marriage Issues

r

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Hi,

I am so sorry this is happening to you. Although, I am definitely not an expert. I have heard of this happening after surgery.  This was discussed at my local support group meetings.  Remember,  your spouse was obese and for years didn't get any positive attention only negative from the general public.  And now that they are looking good they are attracting positive attention and loving it. 

You should find a support group for spouses and families of bariatric surgery patients. I'm sure they will help you deal with this one way or the other as many of them may be going through the same situation as you are. 

Good luck, I hope you find the answers you seek.

If your spouse open to counseling?  Do you have someone close to both of you who could serve as a sounding board? I hope everything works out for you. I think any relationship should be 50/50, but as long as you don't both give up there is still a chance. Keep praying!

I think marriage should be 100/100.  Both people need to put forth maximum effort.

I can honestly say that after my surgery I was a complete and total asshole to my husband.  I allowed my newfound thin-ness and attitude to envelop my whole life.  I became a selfish, self indulgent, spoiled brat.  I told my husband the same thing. 

I can honestly say that the men found me very, very attractive and I received alot of attention.  I had the "grass is greener on the other side" mentality.  I also did not really know how to deal with this new attention.  My husband was "the old standby".  Of course he said he loved me no matter what I looked like, he married me... etc... sound familiar?

I WAS WRONG.

Thankfully, I have come to my senses but my actions have compromised my marriage.  I am humbled and greatful that he has given me the chance to prove to him that he is the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. 

I don't know if this has helped but feel free to ask anything you would like..

 

Removed

R

We almost split because I had something of an "emotional affair" with another man... I told husband before it became physical but when the smoke cleared I realized how bad I really ****** up and how much he really meant to me.

I thank God he forgave me.  He has been far more understanding than I would have been.

Sometimes it does take a split in order to see that the grass is not greener on the other side.

R