Feeling Terrible - I'm Afriad My Partner will Leave Me

Hello,

I am new to obsesityhelp.com. My partner will be having weight loss surgery within the next few months, and I'm having a little trouble, and could use a little help.

This morning, I was really awful to her, and didn't treat her very well at all. I am afraid that once she has her weight loss surgery, that she will leave me after the surgery is done. I'm afraid that after the weight loss surgery, she will leave me, and not need me anymore.

I know that she loves me, and I love her more than anything, but I just have this deep fear that once she has her weight loss surgery, she will no longer need me, and will leave.

Has anyone ever felt this way before? I know that I sound like an incredibly insecure person. Please help.

Hello, my name is Jamie, and I had surgery on December 1st, 2008.  My husband has the same concerns that you do.  My best advice is to talk to her, keep the communication open.  I learned of his concern when he started becoming jealous (not like him at all) needed to know where I was, who I was with, all the time.  This pushed me further away from him and I did not understand.  He was finally able to open up to me and this explained a lot and it also help me to realize that I am not the only one going through changes.  When ever he is feeling this way we talk about it.  I am doing what I can to help him feel needed and he is doing his best to communicate with me.  She needs your support to get through this and you will need hers. You are in this together, start talking to her now before the surgery and things will get easier. 

Hi Jdeannbritt,

Thank you so much for your kind and thoughtful reponse. Since posting this message, my Partner and I have spoken about her surgery, and she has been nothing but supportive. She and I have promised and committed that we will be together for life. She really helped me to understand (which is absolutely true) that she wants to be at her best for herself, and for us.

I truly do want to live a very long life with her. I'm in total support of her having her surgery, and I will support her in any way that I can.

Again, thank you for your thoughtful reponse. I wish you and your family the absolute best, as well.

Hi..

I'm sorry I'm not able to relate to your feelings and issues that you are experiencing as I did have the WLS.  I just wanted to suggest this other forum on Obesityhelp for Spouses of Weightloss Patients.  I believe the people there will be able to relate to you and help you more.

http://www.obesityhelp.com/forums/spouses_of_wls_patients/

Best wishes..

Hi Rhonda,

Thank you for sending me the link to this forum. I will visit this forum shortly.

I wish you all the  best with your WLS, as well.