Help my mother is 110% against me havin surgery

I just got my surgery date yesterday and it is schedualed for Febuary 4th 2009 I am beyond excited I can't wait to be able to shop even just in Wal-Mart and fit into their clothes I can't wait to be able to sit in a normal chair at a restraunt or the movie theater or even at church. I have one hurdle that is really stopping me my mother she is 110% against me havin this. She is a twig and never ever been big she thinks that I can just loose the weight with diet and excersize. I am so scared that she is not goin to take me to the hospital and or be there when I wake up from surgery I am not goin to back out of this becasue of her because it is time for me to do somthing for me and make myself better I am tired of doing things for other people it is my turn. My biggest fear is not havin my mom's support I am a girl and I am scared as hell to go through with this and I need my mom. Any advice on my mom coming around or has anyone else been in a simular situation?
~Valerie~

Valerie,

I am so sorry to hear your Mother does not support your surgery of choice.  I hope that when it comes time for your surgery date, she will have a change of heart.  Just try to get her informed as much as you can on what is going to happen in your transition.  If she needs examples of success stories, have her come to this board and some of the others.     She needs to realize that this choice is yours and it will prolong your life. 

If you need a friend to talk to .. I am just an email away.

Good Luck and God Bless

Julie

 

Valerie,

See that beautiful young woman in the message above mine?  She is my wife and a little over 3 years ago she took that leap of faith and had her surgery.  She didn't do it for anyone else.  She did it for her so she could start living life again and be around long enough to live it.  It made such an impact on her life that she tried to get me to do the same, but I resisted for 2-1/2 years on the premise that discipline, self control and determination would allow me to loose the weight and become healthy too.  Three months ago I had my GB surgery after will power, determination, self control, diets and exercise left me at the same weight I had been for a very long time but facing deteriorating health conditions.  It took me a long time to understand that this is something that you absolutely must do for yourself and no one else.  The point to all of this is simply that your mom means the world to you and you made that clear in what you said.  It only stands to reason that you are every bit as important to her as she is to you.  It will take time, after all, moms do everything in their power to protect their babies, but through your determination and resolve to better your life using this as a tool, with her or without her, she will come around.  She may not like it or agree with it, but I don't believe that she wont be there for you.

Something that helped me with my decision to do this was watching my wife go through her metamorphosis, but also looking at all of the before and after pictures on this site.  A picture is worth a thousand words and the photos of all of the people who's lives have been given back to them through this procedure are very powerful indeed.   As Julie said, maybe bringing her to this site and letting her see the results and reading the stories of the countless people who have changed their lives because of it will help your mom realize that what you are doing is the best possible thing for you.

Best of luck,
Greg.

Hi Valerie,

My mom wasn't as against me having the surgery as it sounds like your mom is - but she certainly wasn't happy about it. More than anything, I think she was scared for me, but there was some of the "Can't you just do it yourself??" going on (even though she's heavyset and hadn't ever lost it on her own..)

I agree with Julie and Greg, you have to do it for yourself -- but I also know you want/need support. Have you tried taking your mom along to some support groups so she can ask her questions and get answers from folks who have actually gone through the surgery? or taken her along with you to one of your doctor's appointments so she can voice her concerns to him (and hear his reassurances)? Just some ideas...  And, definitely introduce her to these boards as well, as Julie suggested. She's welcome to ask questions here too.

In any case, congratulations on getting a surgery date and good luck with your journey!

Becca