I need to talk to my sister about her morbid obesity.

My sister is nearing 400lbs (5'10") - at least. She can barely walk, has respiratory problems, etc. She was fired from her job several months ago and hasn't been able to find a new job. We are all terribly worried about her and feel we need to have some sort of an intervention before we lose her. Our Mom has tried talking to her as well as another of my sisters. She gets very defensive and simply shuts down. She won't discuss her weight or health issues and comes back with the "so you think you're so perfect" response. I'm looking for advise on how to approach her, help that is available..... anything. (We live in Minnesota.)

Hi Laurie, Coming from someone that is 5'5" and was once 450 pounds.....I know exactly where your sister is coming from. The more everyone pushes her, the more she's going to push away. She knows she has a problem and she knows it isn't healthy. I'm sure she wants desperately to do something about it but until she's REALLY ready to do something as drastic as surgery.....no amount of talking to her about it is going to get her to do it. When you're on the outside looking in, it seems logical to 'just lose weight'. Stop eating so much. Get surgery. Exercise. But from the position of the person that has the weight problem...there are so many reasons why that isn't so easy. Food is a drug and it can be difficult to just give it up. It becomes a best friend. It becomes a comfort. Let alone the fact that weight can cause depression that leaves a person with such a feeling of despair and hopelessness when it comes to what they feel they can do. Honestly, I'd say the best thing you can do for her is to let her know that you love her no matter what and that you're there for her no matter what. Don't push her constantly to lose weight as that will only cause her, as you have seen, to shut down. I did the same thing to my family. I had to make the decision on my own to have surgery. And honestly, I didn't even tell my family I was considering it. I would just spring bits of info on them like ...."I'm going to a seminar about weight loss surgery tomorrow" "I signed up for the program". "I have a surgery date!" I'm sure it's hard for you to watch your sister struggle but it's her struggle. She has to be willing to make the change....you can't make her change. I wish you and your sister all the best.... Chris

Excellent post Chris...