Gripe #5 (two part long whine session)

By popular request (yeah... one whole person)... I present to you... A DAILY GRIPE Now... the first one more makes me sigh than anything else. And the second... well... I don't have much right to complain about it... but I am tired and overwhelmed these days, so I am gonna get it off my chest anyway. Ok... the first one: It just makes me give a long sigh when the stepkids mom makes plans to come get them for some reason. It is pretty predictable that she will be an hour and a half late no matter what. But of course kids (especially SD) doesn't really get that -- and she is excited to see her mom. So SD just sits, ready to go, and waits... and waits... and waits... and waits... as her mother is late. Today was silly. Their mom called at 4:40 and said that she thought she'd be there in 20 minutes. (Or so SD interpreted... I didn't hear the conversation.) That would have been on time, so I was impressed. 6:00 came and she still wasn't there. "Can I call mommy" SD say. Of course I said yes, even though we knew she would say "I am on my way" or such. She then told her she'd be here in 1/2hour or 45 minutes (read: between 6:30-6:45). SD continues to wait... and wait... staring out the window... waiting. I don't even have anything to say to her other than "Well, you know, your mom tends to run an hour or more late all the time... so you should try to relax..." She finally showed at 7:25. 2 1/2 hours late. Frustrating. Number two: This is the one I really have no right to complain about. But for some reason I need to talk about it. When I got married just over two years ago, I never officially moved out of the house I shared with my sister. My husband's house was OVERFLOWING with stuff. I mean... you literally couldn't walk through rooms without crashing into boxes of misc stuff (trash, collectibles, whatever) and every surface was covered. So... I had to clean out that house... and get him to rent a storage unit before we could even consider moving my stuff. BUT THEN... I immediatly (as in 2 weeks before the wedding -- shhh, dont' tell) got pregnant with the twins. That put everything on hold because we knew I was on "delicate" watch (due to age with twins) and that we were going to HAVE to move within a few months. Anyway... .... long story short... (too late) We went from that... to moving... to losing Steven and then having Daniel in NICU for almost two months... then my dad came to live with me for a couple months... then he died... then I caught my breath... and then I got pregnant again. This brings us to now. And I STILL have stuff at my sister's house. Most of which I have to give away, cause hubby and kids haven't gotten rid of much, and there are still boxes filling the dowstairs. I have a few shelves in a room I call "My office" where I try to keep books, cds, computer stuff and my sewing and photography supplies. But that is pretty much it. Out of 2200sf of house, I have, basically, a 10x10 room for everything I would like to hold on to. SO... sister occasionally brings boxes of stuff over. Everytime she does, I am just overwhelmed. I have no place to put anything and mainly go through the boxes just enough to make sure I am not going to give Goodwill someting I REALLY TRULY LOVE and care about. Otherwise it has to go. (I won't even go into the tantrums I have been throwing lately cause the kids trash rooms constantly. So I have started a tantrum/mantra of "If I have to get rid of 90% of my stuff -- some of which I REALLY LIKE AND WANT -- then you guys (and this includes their dad) have to at least get rid of 50% of YOUR stuff. If I have to give away practically everything I owned before, then I do NOT want to have to continue to see trashed rooms with with junk, boxes, and stuff you haven't touched in years.) DEEP BREATH ANYWAY... So... Sister brought more boxes over today. And I am bothered because I have been really tired today... having a problem catching my breath over the past couple days (babyness combined with the weather, I think). And becasue I already have a couch full of laundry I haven't had the energy to touch. And now I have to go through all this stuff. ANd I HAVE to. We have a galley-style kitchen (nice cabinets and such.. but SMALLLL)... and you can't really move in there right now.) I just wish she didn't have to keep bringing stuff over. But I know I don't have a right to complain about it. I mean... she is moving me a little bit at a time... and it really isn't fair that she do that. But...oh... I could go on and on with reasons... WHINE MOAN ***** WHINE MOAN ***** Maybe I should get some cheese... .

Sweety I would definently set "Mom" straight on showtimes and such. Maybe if ya tell her she can't have a kid because she's too darned late once or twice that might fix that. To be that late and that consistantly is rude and just crappy! You have every right in the world to be irritated about that. I can't toloerate anyone that is perpetually late. To me it just means that person could really give a hoot about anyone but themselves! As far as the "stuff" situation I wish I could give you a good answer or at least a tip on what to do. Maybe sell the place and get a bigger one? Kinda sucks. Maybe at least the venting helped? Sparky

THANK YOU (you made me smile when I saw the post).....but I am sorry you are going through what you are going through.....very sorry..... 1) I agree with Bob.....that is so not fair to you NOR the kids.....do they notice? And I know you cannot say anything bad to them about their mother....just not right but their dad should handle that....you should not have to. So, when she brings them back are they late coming back too? How frustrating that is....I am so sorry!!!! I think next time you just call after 20 minutes or so and just say you had to leave and she missed her opportunity to be with HER kids....or your husband should handle that, really! 2) I an understand on the boxes....I have (for a few months now) got really into cleaning out the boxes I have had for years. But I don't have three kids running around too....but did it at night primarily after work....it was actually very therapeutic.....have brought stuff to Good Will and am selling on ebay for about 6 weeks (and have made about $600 on stuff I could have thrown out)....but am sure that is completely adding to your stress....again, TOTALLY agree with you....I think you should make it a family affair...they have to go through stuff as you are going through stuff.....and maybe everyone gets rewarded for going through stuff....could be a fun family teambulider. I do not know how you do it in a 10 by 10 space....I have reign of my own house and a two car garage as Nate's stuff is not here yet....I have stuff in EVERY room and garage was overflowing...lol....but it is looking great these days....very scarce in some places....just had to get rid of crap....when Nate came here for the first time he was in total shock...he said you have as much stuff for a 5 person family....lol....true....so I am totally focusing on cleaning out and it is very therapeutic....I have seen on TV and read in magazines that that could cause overeating, etc because you are so stressed out about the clutter and mess....I know that I totally feel better about life in general when things are organized and clean....I still have a long way to go but am getting there.....Nate worked outside last night and I was cleaning out kitchen cupboards and came up with anotehr bag of stuff to take to Good Will....wooooo hooooo! Anyway, hang in there.....and keep us posted on the gripes....we can all relate!!!!

I am an on time person, drives me batty waiting for others, unless there is absolute good cause. [pet peeve] When my X was always late to pick up our son, I started leaving. Screw that, I was not putting everything else on hold. After a several times of doing this, him driving 30 miles each way to pick up Daniel, he got the hint, I told him, you want to see your son? show up when expected or we are going on our way. He then learned the meaning off "on time".. it was very hard for him to do, his family was one that was always late, when we had family functions with HIS family, I would always invite them 2 hours early so they'd arrive about on time. Hell I don't live with anyone and I've still not unpacked a few boxes in my basement.. mostly just wall hanging items, I kind of like the less is more look LOL ... hey I'm ready to have a moving sale, just to get rid of stuff.. and then NOT move! try to enjoy your Sunday Maria!