For Becky B

Hey Becky, Been thinking about you all and keeping you and yours in prayers. I have a question for you. Do you have an "angel" in California for you and your surgery? I don't know if any board members live close to you. Having an angel would help you out a bit before, during, and after. Especially with the other medical situation, we all know you have feelings and thoughts that you can't express to your family. Especially to your mom. I know your surgery is this month so I hope someone has asked to be your angel. Although I'm in Oklahoma, I will be an open ear or a sympathetic reader so you can pour out your feelings, concerns, fears, whatevers. I just know if you can get an angel out there to give us updates and visit after your surgery, you'll have a little bit of concern taken off your mind. Liz

Liz, Thank you so much, you and Rhonda and everyone have been so kind to me. I do not have an angel but I do have a friend whom is going with me and she is a member of obesityhelp ... not that she utilizes the site like I do but I will have her post after my surgery ... more then likely on my account because she will be on my laptop. I do believe I will be meeting a couple of folks from the DS board before I have my surgery. I keep second guessing everything now that its getting closer, I guess its what they call the freak out stage. I did all my pre-op testing today which was a relief to have it out of the way. I feel so selfish I am mad at my mom because she has not been very supportive of me and my surgery. She made a comment yesterday while we were talking and I told her I was very nervous about everything that was going on ... and she said *Well I dont know why ... Im the one with cancer and you are having a surgery that you are CHOOSING to have done, not one that is needed* and that hurt my feelings alittle bit. I feel like my surgery is just as big a deal as her surgery ... I dont know if i am being selfish or not but thats just how I feel about it. I am there for her and I just wish she would be there for me. Its been this way since I was a child though and apparently something I still need to continue counseling for. I needed her a few times and was let down by her but thank goodness for my sister stepping in. Soo anyways my friend that is going to take care of me just left my house, she makes me feel so much better about things she is so positive about everything. I keep finding myself reading horror stories and what not about my surgery. I know things will be fine and that its just anxiety and what not but MAN! anxiety can kick your butt!, I also forgot to ask my doctor about valium today haha I am so absent minded sometimes with so much on my mind right now. I have totally gone off and just started to ramble so I will end this but thank you thank you thank you so much for all the kind words and advice everyone has given me. I truely do appreciate it.

about 2 - 3 weeks before my surgery.. I was a basket case.. would just start blubbering for fear.. but just going onward.. determined. About 1 week before surgery I was much better.. at peace if you will. Sorry about your mom's hurtful words.. you are not selfish.. and she may not be either. Probably (without know either of yous) just under ALOT of stress .. fear of the unknown and what if's. Just *try* to be patient.. and put into practice anything that your counseling may have suggested. Glad you have a friend who will be with you.. I was wondering that myself. And even wondered how close to Dale.. Josie or Rebecca you are. But as long as there is someone.. you are good btw... can you beleive this time next year you are gonna be a skinnie minnie..

You have mail!

Becky, I know what a scary time this is for you and how I wish your Mom could be more supportative but this surgery is for you, your health, your well-being. I think because we do so much research on this particular surgery and knowing so much is scary sometimes but knowledge is power and you will get through everything just fine because you have so many people on your side. A friend of mine gave this to me before surgery and it gave me comfort hopefully it will do the same for you. Give every concern of your heart to Me and ask Me for guidance. Do not rely on your limited knowledge. In everything you do depend on Me, and I will be there protecting you and showing you the way to go. You continue to be in my thoughts and prayers Becky Barb