Bridesmaid Auction!!!

After reading the following story in the NY Post, Teacher and I realized brides are free to totally abuse their bridesmaids and otherwise act like a piece of trash. After some thought on it, we decided the only thing to do was take things to the next level of *****ness. Announcement: For only $10k, you can become one of teacher's bridesmaids. Benefits: 1. You get to buy an ugly dress 2. You get to sign a contract like the one outlined below Note: All my groomsmen are married or underage. No other "perks" are included. Just Joking!!! BRIDES' WEDDING CONTRACTS By SUSANNAH CAHALAN February 24, 2008 -- There's a new prenuptial agreement in town - and it's beyond anything even Ron Perelman's lawyers could cook up. Young brides are drawing up bridesmaids contracts that are sure to cause rifts between BFFs in bad floor-length dresses everywhere. The agreements include specific grooming and behavior clauses - specifying everything from the required length and style of bridesmaids' fingernails to prohibitions on gaining weight before the big day - with the threat that those who don't comply will be dumped. Anja Winikka, associate editor of the Wedding Channel, said, "I've heard stories of brides asking them to dye their hair, cut all nails to the same length, go tanning." More than 20 percent of brides-to-be said they would use a contract to control bridesmaids, and half of them said they would sack one if she refused to follow the script, according to a survey conducted by UK magazine You & Your Wedding. New Yorker Kristi Serrano already has that stipulation in writing: "If you are late (for pre-wedding photos), you will not be walking down the aisle." The 25-year-old Long Island native sent out a seven-page PowerPoint contract to her 12 bridesmaids a week ago - though her wedding to fellow Long Islander Chris Librizzi is planned for September 2009. She has already dumped one bridesmaid who couldn't adhere to the rules. "It was uncomfortable, but she agreed that maybe this job was too much for her to handle," Serrano said. "If they can't do it, then they shouldn't be my bridesmaid." She spent two weeks creating the contract, which outlines every aspect of her $60,000 wedding and all of the rules for her dozen attendees. Do get a tan before the big day - and cover tan lines with self-tanner. Don't let her suspect you have been drinking. Serrano's bridesmaid Becky Trunk, who has known the control-freak bride for four years, said she laughed when she received the contract. "Knowing her as long as I have - I mean she's been talking about her wedding for four years - it's not a shock. But it is hysterical," she said. There's a kicker. In addition to the $260 bridesmaid dresses, specific black-satin heels (that must have a 1- to 3-inch heel), and professional nail, makeup and hairdos, Serrano has slipped in a page about the bridal shower - which she will plan but will be in touch regarding "the costs you will incur as bridesmaids." [email protected]

Doesn't a nice elopement to the Poconos sound wonderful about now?

All I can say is good grief!! Sadly they'll spend $60k on this wedding and probably end of divorced in a year. And I can honestly say where I would tell this "bride" to shove her contract...and it wouldn't be in her car's glove box!