Can you all help? PLEASE

I don't know what else to do about my mom and others who do not want me to have this surgery. Tonight my assistant pastor who is like my second mother point blank told me she didn't want me to have it and walked away. I am about to burst into tears because I am so angry. Why is it ok for people to support angioplasty, chemotherapy, etc etc that saves the lives of sick patients...but everyone has a freaking cow when it comes to GBS? I am so flipping angry that I don't want ANY of them to come to my surgery. My older sister supports my decision, my younger sister supports me and wants me healthy, but she wishes I didn't have to have the surgery. I am to the point where I'm about to ask Dr P to call my mom and talk to her. Someone on this board or the OH.com board did the same thing. I wish I could remember who it was....but this is the final straw for me. I am going to email Dr P tomorrow and ask her to call my mom. I don't need this stress right now. I'm dealing with ENOUGH crap at work, my health, my finances (the freaking IRS is ******g me off lol) and now this lack of support for me wanting to get healthy. But everyone will be in my butt when I am at goal telling me how awesome I look and bull, but when I need them now, they can't even be there to talk to me. My mom AVOIDS me. She didn't even ask how my PAT's went. So I didn't offer any information. If she wanted to know, she would have asked. Can you all offer what I can do? I am at my wit's end and I don't want to be angry, but I am getting there.

I'm sooo sorry that you are not getting the support you need (((((ms dizzy))))) I so wish I knew what your real name was there.. anywho.. I think they don't support (like they should) cuz they love *you* and are not educated on the procedure.. and are just worried about the what if's.. which may be justifiable.. to them. They have not had to live your life being MO.. they don't know/understand the hurt.. pain (mental and physical) and plain agony MO makes a person. They may have even seen you as the happy fat chick.. always jolly so figure why risk all that.. when you are so happy. I would try to be patient with them.. can you access this site ObesityHelp and let them look into themselves.. sign 'em up and let them join the *Family / Friends Board* we promise to be nice.. Let them look at the hundreds.. maybe thousands of before and after photos.. so they will see that there are MANY.. MANY who had the surgery and live healthy happy skinny lives now. I know when I came here many years ago.. I would sit and just look at those pics.. and read profiles.. I was amazed at how many people actually has had the procedure. They can read up.. get educated.. meet warm people who will vouch what a lifesaver this procedure was/is for them.. and perhaps they will then warm up to the idea. Best wishes.. and if you do.. be sure to introduce them to US don't be so hard on mom.. I'm sure she's just overly worried and concerned for you, like most mom's are

Aww, I'm sorry you're going through all that. I think the thing to remember is that unless you've researched the surgery like crazy -- which I'm sure YOU have -- you only hear about the sensationalized bad stuff that happens. You and I (and all the people on this board) know that most people who have the surgery don't die. Most people who have it don't even have serious complications. The bad stuff makes the news because it's unusual (the media doesn't report on normal every day stuff) so the bad stuff is probably all your mom has seen. In case you haven't, maybe sit down with her and show her the statistics - both the mortality and complication rates (because you want to be honest that there is a chance of those) and the success rates. Hopefully, when she sees how high the success rates are (and how low the failures actually are), she'll open her mind to it a little. I think having your doctor talk to her is a good idea. You might even want to take her along to one of your appointments. The doc can tell her all about it and explain every step. People are always scared of what they don't know so maybe this will be half the battle? In the end, I know it's hard not to get angry at them, but remember they're only acting this way because they love you and hate the thought of anything bad happening to you -- even if the risk is small. Good luck!

Hi there..... I am SOOOOOOOOOOOO sorry you are having to deal with this.....I on the other hand had ONE person tell me that they did not want me to do it (my brother's soon to be stepson)....he was pretty passionate about it. I told him I respect his opinion and I asked him to just please support me as this was a decision I was making for me, my health and to enjoy life more. He is now one of my biggest supporters. I think the thing that worked for me is I wrote letters, emails, sat face to face, talked on the phone, etc. with my family and friends about why I wanted to do it. I had researched it for years and finally came to peace about it being the perfect timing for me. I told them I am tired of looking for the closest parking space, I am tired of having to use an extension on the plane, I am tired of being out of breath, I am tired of not being able to go to a movie, I am tired of not loving myself enough to allow someone else to love me. I WANTED TO LIVE AT 35....and I wanted their support. I even wrote my doctor a letter as she had pushed me away from it for over 2 years...after I wrote the letter and read it to her face to face, she said WOW...you are NOW ready...and she endorsed me...... Yes, our family loves us and does not want anything to happen....share the stats, share the testimonials, have the surgeon call your mom....but bottom line, if you feel at peace that this is definitely the right thing....then dangit....BE SELFISH FOR YOU....I told friends that I was at risk of heart disease, diabetes, high blood pressure (I could not believe I was not actually one of those stats but was on the verge)....so sure with ANY surgery you have a risk of mortality....but I was running that risk without having the surgery too.....so I DID IT FOR ME...and it gave me my life back.....MY LIFE IS INCREDIBLY DIFFERENT 3 years later.....YOU DESERVE IT TOO...DO NOT GIVE UP.....AT ALL.... We are here for you and if you want us to talk and share our stories with your family....call on us..... hang in there, Ann

we are responsible for our own lives. lots of times in life people are going to disagree with what you want to do. you may as well start getting used to it now. besides these people love and care about you they just don't agree with you. that's a normal part of life. my suggestion is that you take their advise with respect and love and then make up your own mind. GBS is not for everyone. it does have it's drawbacks and risks and those should not be downplayed. but if it's what you feel is right for you, you're going to have to follow your heart and do what you want. they love you, they're not going to abandon you. give them time. supporting someone doesn't mean agreeing with them. getting resentful and pushing them away isn't going to help you or help convince them that you're doing the right thing. the best way to bring them around is to be diligent in your research and compliance. Do everything possible to maximize your chances of success. that includes being in a healthy place not just physically, but also emotionally and mentally. and also, not everyone supports chemotherapy, or at least not in every case. I'm one who did, and wish now that i didn't. i regret doing so. so that's probably not the best analogy. just remember, you can't force your views on them, and they can't force their views on you. we're all different. it's what makes life so wonderful. good luck to you.

My mom is a nurse, she told me about all the horror stories etc, she did not want me to have this made no bones about it etc... I told her if she really loved me she would support me in this because at the rate I was going I would die young and I would rather try than dying of something horrible from obesity. I know others have had their family come to this website and read the success stories.. My mom also then called my brother who happens to be a surgeon and two of his buddies are leaders in this surgery. He told her how safe it is now and she needed to back off LOL Good luck

Thank you all for your responses. I will try and respond to everyone separately tomorrow.

Ya gotta tell them all to **** off! It's your life, live it! Sparky