A little somthin to make ya giggle
I have seen this before but it is just too cute to not post!
Ever spoken and wished that you could take the words back...or that you
could crawl into a hole? Here are a few people who do....
1. I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and
asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a *******
I turned around and walked back out and never went back. My husband
didn't say a word.. he knew better.
2. I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I
was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for
several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who
works at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I
looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls."
3. My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a
variety of nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the
counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm just looking at
your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically, the boy
grinned, and I turned red and walked away. To this day, my sister has never
let me forget.
4. While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to
release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of
her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons.
I told her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she would be
punished.To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as
threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I
saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night" The silence was deafening after
this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I
mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my
daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me were
screams of laughter.
5. A lady picked up several items at a discount store. When she finally
got up to the checker, she learned that one of her items had no price tag.
Imagine her embarrassment when the checker got on the intercom and boomed
out for all the store to hear, "PRICE CHECK ON LANE THIRTEEN,TAMPAX SUPER
SIZE." That was bad enough, but somebody at the rear of the store
apparently misunderstood the word "Tampax" for "THUMBTACKS." In a
business-like tone a voice boomed back over the intercom. "DO YOU WANT THE
KIND YOU PUSH IN WITH YOUR THUMB OR THE KIND YOU POUND IN WITH A HAMMER?"
6. Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My
three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on
him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between
errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While
enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my
seven-month-old daughter, and she was clean. Then I realized that Danny had
not asked to go potty in a while, so I asked him if he needed to go, and he
said "No."I kept thinking, "Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I
don't have any clothes with me." Then I said, "Danny, are you SURE you
didn't have an accident?"
"No," he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because
the smell was getting worse. Soooooo I asked one more time, "Danny, did you
have an accident?" This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over
and spread his cheeks and yelled. "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS"
While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing, he calmly
pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better by
thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had
7. This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very
embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before
she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any....a true
story...
We had a female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have
snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked: "So Bob, where's that
8 inches you promised me last night?"
Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were
laughing so hard .